Into The World Of Gintama
by Jalen Kun
Summary: My name is Jalen Brown. I've suddenly been sucked into the world of Gintama... With no way out. Well... Getting out isn't exactly my first priority... Especially when I'm too busy laughing at their crazy antics! I would have never thought I'd ever be in any type of danger, though. Like starving. OC Self-Insert
1. Chapter 1

**Into The World Of Gintama**

Chapter 1: Anime Characters Look Just Like Regular People, Just With Weird Clothes And Hairstyles, So Don't Get Your Hopes Up

My name is Jalen Brown, and the first thing I want to say is, I love Gintama. To me, Gintama is the best Anime in the world. Everytime someone bad mouths Gintama, I always just tell them off. They are just idiots that only watch the first and second episode then call it lame. It just really pisses me off, ya know!

Even if Gintama is getting on and off of reruns, I'll still love it with all my heart. And for the Gintama Movie English Dub haters, I'm really sick of you guys. I really hate comments like, "People who are just watching this for the first time, don't give up on Gintama. It's the dub that's awful, not the actual show." That just really pisses me off for 2 reasons.

1. If you were a true Gintama fan you wouldn't call ANYTHING about Gintama bad. You would appreciate the work that's being done on the show, and try to support it.

2. The freaking dub wasn't even that bad! I actually loved it, and the humor was still there! Why do people hate how their own language is, it's just so dumb!

And I understand people have their own opinions, but ranting about how bad the dub is just ruins it for the people who actually wants a Gintama dub. Just continue watching the sub if you don't like the dub, gosh!

So, I guess you can call me a Gintama freak... Right? Well, I don't really care if you call me that, since it's true. Although, I just wish I could be put in the Gintama World for at least a little bit. I don't want to leave my family and all, but... You know.

Well, I'm looking at TV right now. Yep, good old SpongeBob always makes me laugh. Not harder than when I'm laughing at Gintama, though. Suddenly, the TV turns black for a moment... Then words start appearing on the screen.

"If you need an Odd Job done, just come down to Yorozuya." I read aloud. I gasped. Was Gintama coming to North America quicker than I thought?! More words appeared, and I read them. "We do simple Odd Jobs for a fee, of course. Although, a lot of times free."

I was smiling now, this was too good to be true! "Well, you have been selected to take part in this... Test?" Suddenly, the TV started to static, and the screen turned white.

Well, the first thing I wanted to do was run away... Because the TV is acting paranormal. I'm terrified of ghosts. I turned around and started to run, but... I guess fate had other plans, cause I tripped on a Banana.

DAMN BANANAS! I SWEAR THEY HATE ME!

The TV started to pull me inside, and I frantically grabbed for whatever I could hold on to... Which was another banana. Yeah... What the fuck.

I did one final scream, before I was eaten by my TV... Everything was white, and I couldn't feel my body. All I could do was stare at the white space, and that was irritating my eyes, so I closed them.

Hopefully this is a dream, so when I wake up I'll be back in my bed. I hope and pray this is a dream, so I fell asleep.

...

...

"Oi... "

"... Oi... Wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes, and stared at the world I was in. It... Looked weird.

First, the buildings looked nothing like in my neighborhood. They looked Japanese Style, from my knowledge. And... As I looked around... People were wearing Yukata and things like that. Oh yeah, and they looked Japanese.

"AHHHHH! AM I IN JAPAN?! YES! I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE HERE, I WAS JUST SCARED OF FLYING!" I suddenly stopped cheering. "But... What if this is all a dream... No, this has to be a dream. I don't remember flying here..."

"Um... Are you Ok?" I looked up to see 3 people standing above me.

One boy, he looks about 16, is wearing a light blue keikogi with blue linings and a blue hakama. He has black hair and brown eyes, although... I can't explain it, but his glasses were much more... Interesting? It just seems like his whole body doesn't matter, but his glasses are what makes you pay attention to him.

Although, that's all that's interesting about him. He looks quite boring.

The girl has vermillion red hair and blue eyes. She looks about 14. She has on a red cheongsam with yellow piping. Her hair is tied in 2 knots at the side of her head and in covered with ornaments. Is she making fun of China? I hope I'm not in China.. She is also holding a purple umbrella... For some odd reason...

I looked to the other person, and was suprised to see a man. Although... He looks about 20. He has wavy and silver hair and red half lidded eyes. Is he tired, or is he just bored... I can't tell. He's wearing a black shirt and pants with red linings, and a white Yukata with light blue patterns worn sloppily, draped over his left shoulder.

Wait..! Glasses... China Girl... SILVER HAIR AND DEAD FISH EYES?!

"Oi, are you just going to stare at us, or are you going to tell us your name?" Gintoki asked. Yes, Gintoki.

Because I'm in Edo Japan, in front of Yorozuya, which means...

I'm in the world of Gintama...

But, it's not what I thought it would be like. It doesn't look like I'm in an Anime, it just seems like I'm in the real world...

THE END

"Oi! You can't just stop the chapter this quickly!" Kagura yelled. She's speaking English... They all are... "You need to tell us who you are, and why you were just knocked out in front of our house!"

"Now now, Kagura-Chan." Honorifics in English! I'm going to love it here, I really am! "What's wrong, can you tell us your name?"

"My name is..." Crap, my name is too western! Think, Think, THINK! "L-Len... I can't remember my last name. I think I have amnesia."

"Oh, well... Let's take you in our place. Maybe we can help some more in there." I doubt it, Shinpachi-Kun. "It's right here, you were sleeping right in front of it." That's actually pretty convenient. Imagine me, walking through Edo Japan, not even knowing I'm in an Anime.

Since we're now walking, I get a good chance to look at what I'm wearing. Hm... Red Sweat Jacket with a Hood... Green Jeans... Blue Sandals... I wonder if my face has changed...

We headed inside and I sat on the couch (very uncomfortable by the way) while they sat on the couch in front of me.

We talked and talked, and after about 30 minutes Gintoki sighed. "So, you're trying to tell us that you don't remember how you ended up in front of this place, and all you remember is that you're in Edo Japan, your name is Len, you're 12 years old, your favorite food is fried rice, and you really love Jump Manga." Well, I actually love Anime, but I'm too scared to say that to you 3.

"Wait, what about your parents?!" Damn, Kagura! Why did you ask that?!

"Um, all I can remember is my mom abandoned me when I was little. I don't remember my dad at all." I lied. That seems reasonable. They shouldn't want to investigate me further. But, I need to know where they are in the Anime! Hopefully not too far in. "So how did you 3 meet? Have you all known each other that long?"

Kagura snorted. "These idiots ran me over and got in the way while I was running from a stupid perm gang, so since I have no money I'm working here until I can pay for a ride home." She started picking her nose. "And it just happened a few days ago."

Perfect, Episode 5...

Shinpachi stood up and pointed a finger at her. "FIRST OF ALL, I WAS HELPING YOU! SECOND, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED IF IT WASN'T FOR GIN-SAN!" Ah, another honorific. Shinpachi sat down and gave a warm smile. "I'm sorry, so... Do you need a place to stay? I'm sure Gin-San wouldn't mind you staying here."

"No." Gintoki stood up and walked over to his desk. "We don't have enough food for ourselves, much less you."

"Gin-San!" ...Am I ever going to get tired of that? "This boy needs a place to stay, it would be awful if you just ignored him!" That would be awful... Where would I go then? That would ruin everything for me, I would probably go hungry out there alone! Although, I'm probably going to go hungry here too...

"Please... I have no where to go..." I sniffed and wiped a fake tear away. "Please, Gin-San... What if I work for you?" I turned around and smirked evilly. This should work! "Doesn't Yorozuya mean, House of 1000 Jobs? If I can help you 3, I should be able to stay here, right?!"

Gin seemed to think for a moment, and sighed. "Well, fine. As long as you work, you can sleep on the couch."

"I would like a mattress to sleep on, please." I said as I folded my arms. I know I'm not supposed to be acting bratty yet, but this couch is uncomfortable to sit on. I'll never get any sleep on that.

"Maybe I have a few extra mattresses at my place." Shinpachi replied. I was hoping you did, Shinpachi-Kun.

"Well, we're going to have a talk tonight... So we can all get to know you better." Gin said. I nodded, and walked over to the window. I looked outside, and smiled. I hope... I think I'm going to like it here...


	2. Chapter 2

**Into Gintama**

Chapter 2: Make Friends You Can Call By Their Nicknames, Even If You're An Old Fart

It's been a whole week since I've started living in Gintama, and I'm surprise to say that the humor has still been going on strong, even if it's not an episode. It takes a lot to not just bust out laughing at their antics, but I hold it in most of the time.

I also met Otose, and that old lady really looks anorexic. But, she's so strong that she can easily pick up Gin-San. Anime... Makes no sense even if it's real.

Anyway, today is just like any other day. We're just sitting here, waiting for a costumer to appear. As if that would happen though, I'm surprised I'm not starved to death by now.

Suddenly, Gin-San stood up. "Oi! The huge stash of chocolate I was saving has disappeared."

"What?!" I yelled. "You had chocolate and didn't share?!" I love chocolate, how could he do this to me?

His eyes narrowed, and I guess he decided to ignore me. "Whoever ate it, raise your hand now." He looked pissed now. "And I'll only kill you 3/4 of the way."

3/4 of the way? I think the human body isn't made of 4, but of 3.

"3/4?" Shinpachi asked. He looked annoyed. "That's pretty much dead. And besides, if you don't cut it out you really will get diabetes." Tell him, Shinpachi! Nag him to death!

Kagura ignored them, and began reading the newspaper. "Another embassy attacked... Serial terrorist bombings continue." Her nose started to bleed and she looked. "The world sure is a scary place. Mommy, Poppy, I'm scared." I'm actually scared of how easy it is to get a nosebleed in this place...

Gin suddenly grabbed her face to meet his own. "You're the scary one. Looking so happy with a bloody nose." KILL HIM, KAGURA-CHAN! I KNOW YOU CAN! "Were my chocolates tasty?" Really? I would suspect Shinpachi since he's so quiet.

"A nosebleed from chocolates? Puh-Leese." Kagura replied.

Gin suddenly exploded with anger and shouted. "DON'T PLAY DUMB, I CAN SMELL THE SUGAR IN YOUR BLOOD!"

"Woah, calm down Gin-San! You can't even get a nosebleed from eating chocolate!" I yelled.

"Stay out of this, brat! I know what I'm talking about, this pig eats everything!" Gin yelled back.

"Don't be silly." Kagura explained. "I just went in for a booger a little too deep."

I just sighed as I looked over at the sign above Gin's Desk. It's funny how it says mind your sugar level, but Gin is the definition of a sugar addict. They were still rambling on, wasn't listening. I noticed Shinpachi finally got in the arguement too. It's funny when they argue...

Suddenly, a groan was heard outside, and a crashing noise stopped the gang from fighting.

We checked outside to see what was going on, and I wasn't surprised to see a man did crash his scooter into Otose's snack shop. He was on the ground, but I don't think he was that hurt. Hopefully...

"An... Accident!" I didn't mean to sound happy, but now I remember episode 5. We meet Katsura in this episode!

Otose suddenly ran outside and grabbed the injured man by the collar. "HEY!" She began shaking him. "MORON! What are you doing crashing into my shop?! I hope you're ready to die!"

The man put his hands up and tried to reason. "S-sorry! I didn't sleep well last night..."

She raised up a fist to punch the man. "No problem! I'll make sure you sleep forever!" Man, is she always on her period? She really needs to take a chill pill.

We ran down the stairs to stop her from hurting him more than he already is. "Wait! Otose! You shouldn't do that to an injured person!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Hurting an injured man because he almost killed himself? How cruel." I mumbled.

She seemed to have heard me and growled. "Why you..." She grabbed me and started shaking me around. "I'll hurt you next! I'm not in the mood!"

"You two, stop messing around!" Shinpachi yelled at us, then turned to the man. "Are you alright? Do you need help?" The man gave another groan, and Shinpachi sucked his teeth. "This is bad! Kagura-Chan, call an ambulance!"

Kagura cupped her hands to her mouth to amplify her voice and yelled, "AMBULANCE!"

I sweat dropped, and Gin simply yelled. "That's a very primitive way of calling an ambulance!"

Otose finally let me go, and I picked up some mail off the ground. "These are mail, which makes you a mailman right?"

The man didn't answer me, he just picked up a package. "Th-this..." Shinpachi and Kagura kneeled beside him. "Please... Deliver this package in my place..."

"Why do you want that package delivered so badly?" I asked.

"I... I think it's important." He gave Gin the package. "If I fail to deliver this, I might lose my job..."

That excuse makes no sense. If he really was so determined to get the package to where ever, I don't think he would have crashed. Am I the only one thinking straight here?

"Please... I beg you...!" The man choked out, before collapsing on the ground, unconscious. We all gave each other looks, before silently agreeing to accept the request. We are an Odd Jobs after all.

_**Later...**_

We were now standing in front of this super big mansion. And... Yeah. It was amazing. It was the biggest thing I've ever seen, and probably will ever see if I don't survive what was going to happen next...

"Are you sure this is the place?" Gin asked.

"Yup." Kagura replied.

"An embassy..." Shinpachi muttered. "This is the Inui Embassy!"

"What are the Inui?" I asked Shinpachi. I really did forget.

"The Inui from the Dog Star system were the first to come to earth, Len-Kun." Shinpachi explained. I could see the man sitting down behind Shinpachi, and smiled. That is Katsura, if I'm not mistaken. I wonder how his face looks in the real world...

"You're right, Shinpachi-Kun." Gin said. "They're the scary ones who fired canons at the Edo Castle and forced the country to open up..." They all stared at the embassy again, while I slowly backed up. I needed to get a little head start if I didn't want to be killed. "This is a nasty place, that's for sure..."

"Len-Kun? Why are you backing up?" WHY KAGURA?! WHY?!

"Uh... Um... I wanted to get a better look at the place..." I replied shakily.

Before they could respond however, this... I can't explain it! Imagine a dog, that was as tall as a man and had on a suit. It also had a weapon in it's hand.

The dog man walked up to us. "Oi! What the hell are you four doing here?!" You don't see Katsura sitting over there just chillin'? "Do you want to get eaten?" Do you want to get shot?

Shinpachi looked totally terrified. "Well, we were just asked to send in this package!"

"Kagura, give him the package." Gin droned. He didn't look scared at all.

"Come 'ere little doggy." She crouched down and put the package beside her. "I'll give you some pickled seaweed."

I held in a BUNCH of laughter as Gin smacked her in the head and held out the package. "Hehe... Here it is."

The dog looked at Gin questionably. "I didn't here about a package today. Lately we've been worried about bombings. Security's tight. Go home."

Gin tried to give the package to the dog again. "There might be dog food inside. Enjoy." Ooh!

The dog wasn't amused. "Who would eat crap like that?!" He smacked the package out of Gin's hand, and it flew in the air.

Ah, this is my cue to step back faster.

The package landed in front of the yard, and exploded. Yes, exploded. And it wasn't a small explosion, it was big. It left a huge crater in the ground.

Unfortunately, I couldn't see the expression on their faces because I was behind them. But I was close enough to hear Gin say, "I don't know what just happened, but I know what we're going to do next..." They swiftly turned around and started to run. "Run!"

"Hey, Wait!" The dog yelled, and grabbed Shinpachi's arm. Shinpachi then grabbed Gin's arm, and Gin then grabbed Kagura's arm. Kagura reached for me, but I jumped back quickly, avoiding her hand.

"Shinpachi!" Gin yelled. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go!"

"No way!" Shinpachi screeched. "They're not taking me alone!"

"Can't you say something like, 'Leave me. Just go on ahead?'" Gin tried to reason.

"Please, Len-Kun! Try to pull me! Please!" Kagura yelled.

"N-no thank you..." I held in a laugh.

Kagura tried to pull away harder from Gin's grasp. "Just think about me and go to the next world!"

"Shut up!" Gin yelled. "I'm taking you with me!"

Suddenly, a pack of dog guards ran out the embassy with spheres. "Hey! What's going on here?!"

Shinpachi screamed, "Ah! A bunch of dog guards just came out!"

"Don't state the obvious, Shinpachi-San..." I droned.

"Shut up and help us!" Shinpachi yelled, infuriated.

The dog guards were getting closer and closer, and Katsura wasn't doing anything! Was he going to help at all? What if... What if he just walks away?! What can I do?! I'm useless...

Although, my worries were all for nothing. Katsura suddenly got up and started jumping on the dog guard's heads. It's one thing in Anime, but in real life it's kind of... Amazing!

He jumped on the guard that was holding Shinpachi, and it was knocked out instantly. Wow... Couldn't Shinpachi just, like, punch the guard? Meh... Anime...

"Time to go.." Katsura showed his face, and Gin gasped. "Gintoki."

"You're Zura!" Gin exclaimed. He really was shocked. "Kotaro Zura!"

Zura... I mean Katsura uppercutted Gin in anger. "It's not Zura! It's Katsura!"

Gin fell on the ground, blood streaming from his mouth.

"You mad?" I asked as I ran up to them. I felt awkward for not helping, but I don't think they'll hold it against me. "He just forgot your name. Although... Zura and Katsura... Meh, it kind of works."

"It does not work! Gin knows I hate that nickname, he's just teasing me." Zura... I mean Katsura explained.

"You bastard!" Oh, you're finally up, Gin-San? "That's no reason to hit me! It's been forever since we last met!" Katsura didn't respond, and Gin stood up. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

Katsura didn't have enough time to respond, because the dogs were back on their feet. Uh-oh... "How long are you going to continue talking?!" The dog exclaimed, before they began running towards us. I hope I can run as fast as the people beside me...

"Save it, Gintoki." Katsura said, as we all began to run away. They chased us, of course, and it was an all out sprint to not get killed.

For me, anyway. I knew they would survive, but my survival isn't guaranteed. I'm praying I won't get caught, because I'm doubting they would save me...

A few minutes later we made it to... I guess their secret base. We were currently looking at the news... For some odd reason...

"Another Amanto embassy has been bombed." The announcer... Well... Announced? "Our reporter Ketsuno is on the scene! Ketsuno! Ana!"

"Yes! This is Ketsuno at the scene!" A gorgeous lady appeared on the screen. Her beautiful purple hair slightly blowed in the wind. Her smile was amazing... Do I have a crush on her too? Well... Who wouldn't?! "This time, the despicable bomber has gone after the Dog Star embassy. Luckily, no one has been hurt or injured." Suddenly, she looked surprised. "Oh! We've just received word that the alleged terrorists were caught on tape by a security camera." ...A security camera? What?

Suddenly, our picture was shown on the screen. Gin looked like he regularly does, Kagura looked shocked, and Shinpachi... Hehehehe...

Oh! I was in the background! I was looking shocked too, it's awesome they got my picture too!

"Ah... You can see them very clearly here!" Ketsuno said, amazed.

"You can see us very clearly..." Shinpachi sweatdropped.

"I'm still wondering where they got the picture from..." I said, looking bored. I don't think anyone I care about is going to get hurt this episode, so why should I be serious about this? I'll just act casual, and try not to get killed myself.

Shinpachi ignored me, freaking out. "What'll I do? Sis is going to kill me... "

"Don't worry, Shinpachi-San." I patted his back. "I'm sure if you just explain everything, she'll understand."

"I'm on TV, I've got to call home." Kagura munched on some sort of snack.

"Do you think this is all some sort of conspiracy?" Shinpachi asked Gin. "How did we even get into this sort of mess? Meeting Katsura was the only good thing out of this..."

"It was nice of him to hide us inside during all of this." I added. "Isn't he a friend of yours, Gin-San?" He nodded slightly. "What kind of person is he?"

"Uhh... A terrorist." He said bluntly.

"Eh!" Shinpachi froze.

"Stop using that word, Gintoki." We all turned to see Katsura standing in the room with his group of terrorist. "We're not terrorist, we're Freedom Fighters!" His face suddenly darkened. "The Amanto are pests that pollute this country with their presence. We must force them out and rebuild this country into the land of samurai once more! We're expelling foreigners in order to protect this country!"

"Foreigner expulsion patriotism?!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"That's a big word, Shinpachi-San." I deadpanned.

"What's that mean?" Kagura asked.

"Foreigner expulsion is an ideology that sprang up due to the Amanto attacks 20 years ago. They tried to drive out the aliens." Shinpachi explained. "The Amanto pressured us to open our doors. Under that threat, the samurai rose up together to try to chase them out of Edo." Shinpachi paused. I guess to add drama... "Confronted by Amanto's immense power, the government surrendered. They abandoned the samurai and signed an unfair treaty with the Amanto. The Amanto had control over the core of the government, so they took away the samurai's swords... And made them powerless." He gulped. Was this ending soon? I'm tired of his rambling. "I heard that afterwards many of the exclusionist were purged."

"It seems we've been manipulated." Gin said.

"What do you mean? By who?" I asked. I had to act clueless _sometimes..._

He pointed to a man who looked... Familiar... "Isn't that right, Mr. Postman?"

Kagura gasped. "He's right! I remember those bushy brows!"

Oh! How could I forget... That's weird...

"Yeah... His bushy brows are like Rock Lee's from Naruto!" I exclaimed.

"...What, Len-Kun?" Shinpachi sweatdropped.

"It's all your doing, isn't it, Katsura?" Gin asked. "All these recent attacks that have everyone in panic."

Katsura closed his eyes. "There was something I had to get my hands on, even if it meant dirtying them." He opened his eyes and raised a sword up. Wait... WHERE DID HE GET THAT SWORD FROM?! "Gintoki, will you take up your sword alongside mine in order to rebuild this corrupted country?" He asked. "Will you lend me the strength that made you feared as the White Knight?"

I looked at Gin, and he had that boring look on his face. Shinpachi looked concerned and Kagura just ate that snack... HOW LONG IS SHE GOING TO EAT THAT?!

"His white hair was soaked in blood. Bounding into battle was a vision of a demon knight in full glory." I think Katsura just had a flashback... Meh. "It was he who fought like an avenging angel in the war against the Amanto. He was like a God of war who was feared not only by his enemies but by his own people. Gintoki Sakata..." Gin was digging in his ears, looking away. "You should join us, once again, to fight against the Amanto."

"Gin-San... You were involved in the Foreigner Expulsion War too?" Shinpachi asked.

"He disappeared after the battle." Katsura answered. "I never really knew what was going on in your head."

"I like a nice loud fight..." Gin finally said. "But I hate morbid crap like Terrorism." He looked straight at Katsura. "The war is over. How long are going to go on and on? What are you, my mother-in-law?"

"Are you stupid?! Mothers always pester their sons. No one likes you because your heart isn't big enough to embrace." Katsura retorted.

"You little... If I didn't have naturally wavy hair I would definitely be popular with the girls. I think."

...What are y'all talking about now?! AND STOP MUNCHING SO LOUD, KAGURA!

"There you go, blaming everything on your natural wavy hair. Pathetic."

"Who's pathetic? People use their complexes as springboards to greatness."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Shinpachi and I yelled.

"Our fight is far from over." Katsura said. "Inside, you're still fighting, Gintoki."

Katsura kept talking, and to be honest... I'm sick of it. When is the Shensingumi going to come in, gosh... I'll just tune him out.

They kept talking, until finally...

The door was kicked open, and everyone gasped.

"You're under arrest!" Hijikata yelled. "Come quietly, you terrorist scum!"

To be honest, I'm pretty scared now. There was like... 20 Shensingumi members against... Us. And I just figured out they had the door blocked... How are we going to escape?!

W-would they kill a 12 year old?!

"I-It's the Shensingumi!" The minor people yelled.

"Oh no! Run away!" Katsura yelled.

"Kill them all!" The officers yelled.

I saw my gang plus Katsura run through a door that I surprisingly didn't see, and followed.

"Wh-Wh-Who are those people?!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Well... When there are terrorist, their are angry citizens and police officers. Since they are dressed in a uniform, I'm thinking their the police!" I informed.

"Yeah! You're right! They're the Shensingumi, the armed police!" Katsura replied. "An elite Anti-Terrorist squad they send to wipe out rebel elements!" He suddenly ran beside Gin. "They're really annoying, what should we do, boss?!"

"I'm not your freaking boss! And you're the one that's annoying!" Gin yelled.

Kagura said something, but I didn't catch it. I was beginning to get tired and was lagging.

"Oi!" Hijikata yelled as he almost jabbed through Gin's head with his sword. Gin ducked, so the sword got stuck in the wall. "There's no need to run. It's a nice fight. Let's have some fun."

"Oi, are you really a public official? I'm surprised you passed the interview, your pupils are dilated." Gin told the man.

"You should talk, creep." Hijikata pulled the sword out of the wall. "Coming from someone who has dead fish eyes!"

"Gin-San!" I yelled. "Stop talking and get up!"

Hijikata swung at him again, but luckily Gin rolled away and got back on his feet.

"It's all right. My eyes sparkle during my close ups." Gin said, now holding his wooden sword.

"Don't lie!" Hijikata yelled as he tried to kill Gin again. Gin sidestepped to avoid the cut, but that was a terrible mistake. Hijikata twisted his sword, and slashed sideways to cut Gin in half. Gin miraculously jumped back in time, and I exhaled a sigh of relief. "You're pretty good. Most people can't keep up with this transition."

"That's dangerous." Gin replied. "What would you do if you really hit me?" Um... You'd be dead. I'd probably be next.. Yeah. Don't get hit.

"You idiot! I'm trying to hit you!" Hijikata yelled, and slashed at Gin again. He dodged it, and I sighed again. I guess... Since this is really happening in front of me, I'm having doubts. He slashed again, and again, until Gin finally blocked with his own sword. Finally!

They just glared at each other until another voice was heard.

"Mr. Hijikata, look out." I found out it was Okita as soon as I heard the bazooka being shot.

The bullet whizzed it's way straight through them, but the explosion happened right beside them. A black smoke engulfed them, and I screamed. Because I was also pretty close. Can you imagine an explosion happening right in front of you? Pretty scary... Suddenly, Gin grabbed me and led me in this room. When we got in, I saw his hair and snickered. It was all puffy because of the explosion, wow!

They put a table over the door so they couldn't get in, but I thought one thing... We're screwed.

"Stop your stupid resistance and come on out!" Someone yelled from outside.

"D-did you grow more hair?" Shinpachi asked.

"This is the 15th floor, there's no escape." Katsura said, getting up.

"So... We're just going to die? Great..." I mumbed.

Katsura took out a ball from his robe. "No. We aren't going to die. This right here is a time bomb. I was going to use it for the terminal, but I have no choice. I'm going to give these guys a little present. In the confusion, everybody run."

Gin suddenly grabbed Katsura by the shirt.

"Jerk! What do you think you're doing to Katsura!" Some random guy yelled.

"Katsura, let's put an end to this." Gin said. "No matter how much you get your hands dirty, our dead buddies won't be pleased, nor will times change. Don't dirty them anymore."

"You're the one who's dirty, Gintoki." Katsura argued. "As soon as times changed, you went to the other side. A warrior must stick to his beliefs."

Ugh, here they go... Talking again. As if I'm going to listen to them. They take up a whole page when they have their conversations!

"Gin-Chan... This thingy... I pushed the switch when I was messing with it." Kagura held up the bomb that was now beeping. She smiled sheepishly.

Everyone looked at her.

Oh... My... God...

"What a nightmare."

"How cliche."

"Hey! Come out! We're going to fire this time!" I heard them yell outside.

Suddenly, Gin, Kagura, Shinpachi, and I busted through the doors. And ran straight past them. I was scared, but not scared enough to get blown up.

"O-oi! What are you doing?! Stop them!" Hijikata yelled.

"If you want to stop something, stop this bonb, please!" Gin yelled as he held up the ticking time bomb of destruction. "You have a bomb squad, don't you?!

The Shensingumi all screamed and ran away. "He's got a bonb!"

"Shinpachi! Didn't you say you were good with machines?!" Gin asked as he passed the bomb to Shinpachi.

"Y-y-you're mistaken! Kagura, this is all your fault to begin with!" Shinpachi yelled as he passed it to her.

"L-L-Len-Kun! Can you hold this for a second, my hands are kind of full!" Kagura yelled as she passed it to me.

"I-I-I need an adult!" I yelled as I threw it to Gin.

"I'm a child at heart!" To Shinpachi.

"Bombs go great with red hair!" To Kagura.

"I'm just a little girl!" To me

"You're older than me!" To Gin.

This went on for a while, until it was back at Gin.

"Only 10 seconds left!" Gin exclaimed.

"Gin-San! The window! The window!" Shinpachi yelled as he pointed to a window ALL the way down the hall.

"Do you think he can throw that far?!" I yelled, Kagura tightened her hold on her umbrella.

"Gin-Chan! Bite down on something!" Kagura ordered.

Gin looked back. "E-eh!"

She got in a position you would be in to hit a ball playing baseball. "YAAAAHH!" She swung at hit him right on his cheek. I stopped running, and so did Shinpachi.

He flew away and blasted through the window. Ow... That had to hurt...

I waited a while, and saw the bomb fly up in the air and explode. It was 10 times bigger, and would have probably killed all of us in the building.

We all ran to the window and Shinpachi yelled out, "G-Gin-San!"

"Bye-Bye, Gin-Chan!" Kagura waved happily.

"He saved us all... He was a good man." I bowed.

I looked down, and saw Gin hanging off of a towel advertising the... Are we in a hotel?

I laughed, Kagura did too. Shinpachi chuckled, and started to laugh as well.

_**OVA**_

We headed back to Yorozuya, and as soon as I stepped foot in the building, Otose grabbed me by the collar and swung me on the couch. "OW! WHAT THE HECK?!"

She then grabbed Gin by the hair, and swung him down the stairs. Ow... That had to hurt far worse than my punishment.

"Otose-San! You shouldn't do that! What's wrong?!" Shinpachi questioned.

"I saw you all on the news. I'm not letting a bunch of terrorist stay here." She spit out, and cracked her nuckles when I started to get up. "Stay there, twerp."

"Isn't this... Rape?" I asked. I could see an anger mark on her forehead, and she lunged for me

"A-AH! WAIT. OTOSE-SAN! STOP! LET ME EXPLAIN!"

_**This is the longest thing I've ever done. I'm going to die...ugh. It took me...so long... Ugh...**_

_**Anyway... Please review. And tell me if I should cut the episodes in half... Your review is always wanted, and I appreciate all of them.**_

_**14 pages...**_

_**...**_

_**Now it's 15...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Into the World of Gintama**

Episode 3: When you make a promise, keep it till your death

"Come on, I've told you we've got nothing to do with it!" Gin whined, his arms behind his head.

After Shinpachi explained to Otose what happened, it was too late. She called the police before we got there, and they sent us to jail. We were now currently being interrogated, which was really a waste of my time. God... I'm hungry...

There were two interrogators in front of us. One sitting down and one standing up. I'll call the one sitting down, Bob. I'll call the other one standing up, Joe.

"Nothing changes, you know?" Bob said, looking at some papers in his hand. "The culprit always says he's got nothing to do with it." Joe was now pacing behind Bob.

"We told you what happened, and I'm pretty sure we have witnesses. Including the security tape that had that dog guy hitting the bomb out of Gin-San's hands." I said. "So just let us go, I don't have time for this!"

I really wasn't in a good mood. I'm beginning to get homesick, and I don't remember this part in the Anime at all. Ugh...

Kagura was eating... For some reason. And Shinpachi was shaking. Is he nervous, I guess this is a good reason to be, though.

"Yeah Yeah. Guilty people always says things like: "Oh, I don't remember anything about that," or something like that." Bob said. He then smirked. "Come on, why don't you just confess? Or did you think that you'd get off if you keep on denying it?"

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" I slammed my hand on the table. "If we did do it, don't you think that we would have hid? If we did do it, don't you think that we would attack you two? It would be four against two, we could easily win. But..." I paused. "Since we had nothing to do with it, we won't do anything. We won't harm anyone, because we know this is a big understanding. So just shut the fuck up and let us out!"

Everyone froze, and Joe even spilt his coffee.

"Are you going through puberty?" Kagura asked.

"Come on. Quit acting like that." Gin told me.

Shinpachi just smiled, and gave me a thumbs up. Hm... I wonder why...

_**A few minutes later...**_

"To think that they would think we were the bombers." Gin said. "Stupid pigs. They kept us there for three whole days."

Kagura put up her umbrella, and Shinpachi stretched. We were finally out of that place... I guess what I said scared them into the truth.

"Well, it turned out OK." Shinpachi said. "Len-Kun got us out."

"Or rather, Voca-Freak threatened them until they let us go." Gin deadpanned. I sucked my teeth, and kicked up some dirt. I wasn't in the mood right now.

They call me Voca-Freak sometimes because I have an... Unhealthy obsession with Vocaloid. But, so what...

The other reason I was pissed was because I missed the new Vocaloid song. There was a concert, and since I was stuck in that shitty jail, I missed it.

"Well, it's not that unusual for someone who's usually calm to go crazy under pressure." Kagura noted.

"Well, whatever." Gin walked away and stood a few feet from us. "I'm gonna take a piss over here."

And Kagura turned around. "And I'm gonna take a puke over here."

"Stop! We're on TV here!" Shinpachi yelled. "Come on! They'll never leave us alone if we deface their place." He started to walk away. "I'm going home."

Gin watched him go. "Oh, come on. We can't have a comedic Anime without the straight man."

I can't believe that they'll still talk like their in an Anime... When they look as real as anybody... Which is very real.

"I guess you'll have to fill in for him, Len-Kun."

Suddenly, Kagura started puking. I guess this is where a straight man is supposed to do his thing.

"Kagura-Chan! Didn't he tell you not to puke?! Gosh!" I quickly covered my nose. "And ewww!"

Suddenly, a man wearing brown clothing jumped from the police station roof. He landed on his feet, but then slipped and hit his head on the ground. "Ow!" Then he quickly rose up and covered his nose. "... And ewww!"

Police ran outside then. "Oi! Stop that guy, he's a crimina-" They all covered their noses. "Oh, gross!"

"... What?" Gin muttered. Isn't it self explanatory? This guy is escaping from jail, and...

We turned around and saw the criminal having Kagura in a head lock. "Step back! Don't you care what happens to this puking girl?" He yelled.

"You!" The police growled.

"Don't give me that." The man told them, then turned to Gintoki. "Hey! You with the natural perm! Can you drive?!"

"Yeah." Gin answered.

"Are you crazy?! Are you really going t-"

"Shut it, Len." Gin demanded. Oh my gosh... Ugh...

The police took out the swords in anger. "Did you really think you could get away with a hostage?!"

"Oooh no! He's got meee! I'm so scared!" Kagura wailed. Was she faking? It seems like it...

...

That thought made me sweat drop.

Gin was smirking. "Well, I've guess we've got no choice but to do what he say's..."

I sighed. I guess Gin has a plan, so I'll just follow along.

"Oh... Well, we have to. We wouldn't want Kagura to get killed." I said as we began to move to the police car. Gin and I got in front, while the man and Kagura got in the back. Gin drove away, and started speeding down the road.

Doesn't he know kids are in this car? Well, I'm sure Kagura can survive a car crash... But I definitely can **not.**

"Well, that went nicely..." Gin started. "Do you really think you can get away with this, though?"

I looked back, and saw Kagura fast asleep. She was drooling on his arm, but he didn't seem to care.

"Just turn right." He replied.

"Come on, it's more likely that you'd win the lottery than get out of this country." Gin kept trying to get the man to talk. I wonder why... I wonder why all of this... I think Kagura can get out any time she wants.

"I don't intend to escape entirely, just for today." The man finally answered. "If I can be free for today alone, that would be fine."

"Why?" I asked out of curiosity. I didn't mean to talk... But I might as well try to understand what's happening. Maybe I can remember what happens in this episode.

"Today's a special day." He told me. I wanted more... But oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.. I think.

"Sure, if you get caught trying to leave the country and never get out again, then this _would _be a special day..." Gin said. Was he mocking the man..? I don't know...

Suddenly, we all heard police sirens behind us. "Floor it!" The man yelled. "I can't get caught now!"

"As you wish!" Gin stomped down on the pedal. "Boost!"

Now... What happens next... It's the most... Terrifying thing ever. It's.. Kind of hard to explain. I'll try though.

We drove through a sign and was now about to hit all these people. Why were we driving through a busy street, anyway?!

"Outta the way! Outta the way!" Gin yelled as people ran and screamed. I pray we don't hit anyone... Please don't hit anyone...

"Stop, dumbass!" The police driving behind us yelled. "Did you really think you could get away?!"

"Are you saying that I can't get away?" Gin asked. "That just makes me want to get away even more!"

"That shouldn't! It should make you want to stop!" I screamed as we sped down the street. Eight police cars were chasing us... We were so going to jail...

We kept driving, but then...

Two police cars came into view and blocked our way.

"Turn left!" The man yelled.

"I was going to!" Gin yelled back. He turned the steering wheel, and we narrowly avoided smashing into the car. Two police cars behind us did, though...

Are they trying to kill us?!

There were still a few more police chasing us, sadly...

I looked back to the front, and screamed as I saw we were about to crash into a building. "AHHH!? G-G-GIN-SAN! STOP THE CAR, PLEASE! JUST STOP THE CAR!"

I stuck my head out the window and yelled, "SOMEBODY HELP US! PLEASE! I'M A HOSTAGE, I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

"Shut up, brat!" Gin demanded as the car started to fly. "Here we goooooooo!"

The car... How do I explain this...

Gin did something... And the car started to fly. It... Flew...? And we landed on the side of the building.

Yes... It wasn't a typo. We **landed **on the side of the building... And we started **driving** on the side of the building...

"Holy shit..." I muttered.

I wanted to look back, to see if the cars crashed... But I was so scared.

Even though it was kind of hot... I was shivering.

"We did it!" Gin exclaimed happily. We did it..?

"Yeah... You almost... Made me faint..." I told him. I wanted to say more. To curse him out... But the words wouldn't come out.

"... Huh?!" Gin exclaimed as he looked back and saw... 20 police flying up... Trying... To...

"AHHHHH!" I screamed. The adrenaline was back, my blood was pumping again.

Our car started to fly, and we maneuvered our way pass the many objects flying around. This is madness... I can't... Take... Anymore...

The last thing I heard before I blacked out was, "Len-Kun! Len-Kun! Len-Kun!"

...

I woke up on some kind of chair. It was fluffy... Way nicer than the chair at Yorozuya.

... Wait... What?!

I quickly stood up, only fall down helplessly. My legs weren't working, or they were broken. I don't know... I just know I can't walk for some odd reason.

I looked around, and gasped at where I was. It was a very neat room, with plenty of shelves and many books. Everything was red... The walls, shelves, books, everything!

"Are you amazed?" Someone asked me. I quickly turned around, saw a man. He looked around sixty years old, and had brown, curly hair. "That chair you're sitting on is made with the finest elements."

I sweatdropped. "Actually... I wasn't amazed by that..."

"Oh!" He laughed. "You were amazed by how neat this room is! Well, I try."

"No..." I sweatdropped again. "I'm amazed by how many books you had... And how everything is red."

"Oh... Really?" The man scoffed. "That's not really awesome or anything." This man is crazy... I can tell... "Well, I can't tell you much. I just wanted to meet you." ...I really need to go... "I can only tell you this... Your family is fine. I sent a part of your soul to be with them, while you stay here in the Gintama world."

"Wait, What?!" I yelled. This was... What?

"So don't worry about your family... Have fun!" He clapped his hands, and everything started to Ger blurry. "... You never know when you'll die in this world... Kufufufu.."

"No... WAIT!" I tried to move, but I couldn't. I just watched as everything turned black

...

I woke up, and to my surprise... we weren't flying in a police car getting away from the police. We also weren't in jail.

We were... In a concert...

"You're finally awake?" Gin asked me. I realized he was carrying me... Did he carry me all the way here? I looked down, and saw... Water... On my shirt and pants. "Oh, sorry. I sort of had to drag you while we were in the sewer." Gin told me while picking his nose.

"YOU JERK! I'M ALL SMELLY NOW!" I yelled. He just laughed. So did Kagura... Who I just noticed was right beside me.

I looked behind me, and saw the criminal enjoying the concert too. I sweatdropped...

"Why are we helping a criminal?" I whispered in Gin's ear.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he pointed to the front of the concert. I looked over the people in front of me, and gasped as I saw Otsu-Chan.

Now I remember the episode we were in... How could I be so dumb?!

"Everyone!" She yelled. "Well, I'd like to thank you for coming to my performanc_everyone_!"

... What was that? That's... Supposed to be cute?

"Performanc_everyone_!" The crowd echoed.

Are you all... Insane?

"So, don't mind me." She continued. "Just have fun, everyo_necromancer_!"

There she goes again...

"Necromancer!" The crowd echoed once more.

I'm pretty sure... They're all insane.

"And so, for my first number, I'd like to sing "Your Father's a Chome-Chome." She told us. "So, listen and enjoy, will yo_ulterior motive_?"

"Ulterior Motive!" The crowd yelled. I'm really starting to get a headache...

The music started playing, and the crowd cheered as loud as they could.

"What the shit is this?" Gin deadpanned.

"You took the words right outta my mouth..." I deadpanned.

"This is the latest hot pop idol, Terakado Otsuu-Chan's first live show." The criminal answered.

Gin jumped up and kicked the criminal in the head. "You idiot! This is what you call your 'Special Day'?!" I'm expected him to rant. "You broke out of jail for a pop idol?!"

"Now that I think about it, it does sound very stupid." I noted. "But who's the idiot that helped him? Hm..?"

This seemed to anger Gin even more. "Did you intend to throw a monkey-wrench into my life for your own amusement?!" Gin looked down at the man pitifully. "I'm gonna kick yer ass back to prison, ya ingrate."

The criminal looked up, surprisingly not mad. "It's just, now I've fulfilled the promise which, when my life went in the crapper, I though I'd never be able to keep." He jumped up. "Well then, let's make some noise! L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U! L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U!"

Gin grabbed me, then walked over to Kagura. "Let's go, Kagura-Chan."

Kagura pouted. "Aww... I want to stay, it's fun."

"Kagura-Chan, this is mind numbing." I informed her. "If you don't want to be brain dead, I advise you to come with us."

Gin started to walk away, and I followed. "Good lord, they're like a cult..." I chuckled. He was right. "It feels kind of claustrophobic, and it's smelly..."

"L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U!" Someone way louder than the rest screamed. The sad thing was... We recognized the voice.

We turned, and saw Shinpachi in front of a whole group of people. They were all matching, and screaming that annoying chant. L-o-v-e my ass.

"Louder, maggots!" Shinpachi ordered. No! Quieter!

"Yes sir!" They obeyed. "L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U! L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U!"

"Hey, you over there!" Shinpachi pointed to some random guy. "Why are you spacing out?! Yell with the rest of them!"

"Yes sir, Captain!"

"Oi... When did you become the captain?" Gin asked from behind.

"I've been the captain of the Otsuu-Chan cheering section since the day I was born!" He looked back, and screamed. "Gah! Gin-San, what are you doing here?!"

"That's what I wanted to ask you." Gin responded. "What are you doing leading this sorry bunch? What are you gonna say to your sister?"

"It's none of her business what I do in my free time, I'm not a little kid!" Shinpachi yelled. I can tell he was trying to act tough in front of his group of losers.

"Hey, you two over there." We all turned to see a green haired lady. She looked... About fifty... "Don't be walking around during the show. You'll be a nuisance to the rest of the audience."

"Yes, Manager-San!" Shinpachi saluted. "I'll kick them out!"

"Oh, you're the cheering section? Keep up the good work." She told him. "This is her first live show, so we must make it a successful one."

"L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U!" The criminal shouted. I can recognize his voice now, sadly.

The green haired lady looked at him and gasped. "Darling..."

The criminal heard her voice and turned around. They just stared at each other, I guess in shock.

Ah~ Love.

The green haired lady grabbed the criminal by the arm, and they rushed out the door. I wonder... Hm...

Gin walked out a few seconds after them.

"Ne, Len-Kun..." Shinpachi started. "I wanted to thank you for what you did today."

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked.

"When you snapped on that interrogator... You got us out of jail." Shinpachi looked down. "If you hadn't said anything... I wouldn't be able to come to this concert, so I thank you."

I looked away. "Hmph... I was just pissed off. I missed my Vocaloid concert, and I was tired of sleeping in that nasty jail cell." I looked at the crowd of people. "So, I understand if you like this stuff. And you're welcome."

He smiled. "Alright! COME ON, LOUDER! L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U! L-O-V-E! O-TSU-U!"

I sweatdropped.

Geeks...

Suddenly, however. This... Blob thing... started yelling. "I can't stand it!" It grew to be about... Well... Gigantic!

It was humongous, really. How could Shinpachi let an Amanto join his group of geeks?

"Captain! A member of the cheering section has gone out of control!" No duh...

"He's one of us?" Shinpachi asked. "I thought he was just a mannequin..."

Really, Shinpachi? Really?

"Stop you scoundrel!" A group of geeks with sticks ran up to the monster.

The monster just turned around and whacked them all with his gigantic hand. "Otsuu-Chan!"

I decided to be the smart person, and ran on stage to protect Otsuu. Even though her music is killing my brain cells.

"Don't worry, Otsuu-Chan. I'll protect you." I told her. She just pointed to the monster and screamed.

It's... Stomach opened up, you could say. It had razor sharp teeth, and a big slimy tounge.

"Um... Never mind." I muttered as I turned to the side and walked away. I don't even have a weapon, Otsuu can die for all I care.

"Otsuu-Chan, become one with me!" The monster exclaimed. Tentacles were now coming out of it's stomach's mouth. Yeah, you're screwed Otsuu-Chan.

The green haired lady ran to Otsuu. "Run, Otsuu!"

"But, my legs have given out... Oh God." She replied.

The monster reached back, then reached forward to grab Otsuu and her mother. Oh, this is bad. "Where are you, Gin-San!"

Suddenly, a man with a white bag over his head blocked the attack.

"W-who's that?" Shinpachi asked.

I think I know who it is...

"Otsuu, get out of here!" The man told her. Ah, it's the criminal... Told you I remembered his voice.

The tentacles suddenly charged at the criminal, and smashed him into the wall. The criminal dropped down, unconscious.

"Charge! Protect Otsuu-Chan!" Shinpachi yelled as he and his gang charged at the monster.

It was wild then. Shinpachi's gang all grabbed on to a part of the monster, and was beating it up.

But... It didn't last long. The monster got the geeks off of him, and was about now about to smash Shinpachi.

Suddenly, Kagura was in the air, and she slashed at the monster with her umbrella. The monster stepped back, surprised, but not down yet.

"Kagura-Chan!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"That's the fourth time I saved you this month!" Kagura yelled.

"What are you doing?" The monster yelled.

"That's my line_backer_!" Gin yelled back. He was now standing with Kagura and Shinpachi, so I decided to join the group too.

"Hi guys." I greeted.

"You bastard!" Shinpachi yelled at me. "You were just going to let Otsuu-Chan die!"

"That monster is terrifying. As if I'm going to risk my life fighting it. I'm just a twelve year old boy_cott._" I deadpanned. It's actually quite fun doing your words like that.

"All of you, get out of my way_ward soul_!" The monster exclaimed. Wow... Everyone's doing it. The tentacles shot out it's stomach again, and charged at Gin.

Gin took out his wooden sword and dodged the attack. "I'm going to have to cut you to shred_ded beef cuts_!"

"Don't remind me how hungry I am_azing_." I deadpanned.

He swung his sword and cut all the tentacles in half. Sadly, more tentacles shot out. This is insane.

"Wait a minute!" Shinpachi yelled as he jumped up. "I'll be the one to protect her today_s of our lives_!" He swung and hit the monster on top of it's head.

The monster fell down, finally defeated. "Whoo! Good job, Shinpachi-San!" I cheered.

They all smiled, and so did I.

"He's-" The criminal started.

"Hey, old man." Gin interrupted. He tossed the criminal some flowers, for some odd reason... "I could only find that many. It falls a bit short of a million, but make up the rest with fatherly love."

We began to walk away, and I waved goodbye.

"So... Gin-San..." I started. "Is he your new lover? It seems that way, since you we're looking for flowers while an Amanto was running loose."

Gin almost choked, and smacked me on the head. "You idiot! Moron! Brat! Of course not, you'll never understand!"

"Ow... That really hurt..." I rubbed my aching head. "I was just joking... Gosh."

After a moment of silence, we all laughed.

Even though I'm starving... I can still find a way to smile...

That's what Gintama is all about.

"This chapter isn't over yet, Otsuu-Chan wasn't finished singing!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Yeah, the concert is kind of fun!" Kagura agreed.

Ugh... I sighed.

"I guess I'll listen to one more song."

_**A few minutes later...**_

"Well, everyone..." Otsuu started. "A lot has happened, but I hope you'll listen again_ophobia_!"

"Wait... Does that one even work?" I asked Gin. He just shook his head, and sighed.

"Gynophobia!" The crowd echoed.

"Now, I'm dedicating this song to my own father..." She informed. "Your Father's A Chome-Chome!" She fistpumped. "Please listen and enjoy_armulke_!"

The crowd cheered, and the music started.

**Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome!**

**Everyone should know, but everyone looks away.**

**Everyone should have heard, but when it comes down to it, they shut up!**

**Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! **

**Chome-Chome... That's my seductive invitation.**

**Chome-Chome... That's my secret intonation. **

**Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! Chome-Chome! **

_**I'm so sorry, everyone! I feel, my writing skills left me half way through this chapter! I feel... So bad...**_

_**Anyway, I hope you like it. And give me tips on how to write better, if you want.**_

_**Bye nii~! Have a nice day**__old ham__**!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Into The World Of Gintama**

Episode 4: A pet's owner should look after it and take responsibility for any trouble it causes.

The land of the samurai. It's been quite a while since this country has been called that. Twenty years ago, a race called the Amanto-

Wait... Why am I doing this introduction? Shouldn't it be Shinpachi? And it's actually quite annoying. I'm sure you guys don't want to hear this, no I'm positive you guys hate this. You probably hate me now for trying to do it... God.

I don't get paid enough for this... I don't get paid at all. I'm so screwed.

"Oi, you brainless perm head!" Otose yelled. "Get out here and pay the goddamned rent!"

Gin walked over to the door and opened it. "Oh, all right. I guess there's nothing to it, here you go."

He went in his robe, took out some coins, and dropped them in her hand. "Here you go." He then slowly closed the door. "Adios."

A few seconds later, Otose ran in the house. "What the hell?! 230 yen?" She grabbed him by the collar. "Are you mistaking your rent for your milk money, idiot?"

"No! I don't have shit for cash!" Gin yelled. I guess he was pass his breaking point. "You know that, you thick-headed ho!"

"What has the world come to..?" I asked. "Elderly people trying to take money from poor people, that's awful."

"If you don't have any money, then go scam a bunch of rich old lady's, you naturally-permed swindler!" Otose yelled back.

"Now elderly people are persuading poor people to scam other elderly people. It's pitiful."

"It's always money-money-money-money with you!" Gin exclaimed. "Why don't _you _go swindle someone, you harlot hag?!"

"If you want to get your ass kicked, just say so!

"If you want a piece of me, I'll take you on!"

"I'm serious, if you don't pay up, I'm gonna throw your worthless ass out!"

After another five minutes of arguing, Otose left. Stupid old hag.

"Come on, if you have enough money to buy Jump at 330 yen apiece, surely you have enough to pay me this month." Shinpachi told Gin as he was pouring tea. "I'm counting on you. Funds are really tight at home.

"Food's tight around here, too." Kagura added.

"You can say that again." I deadpanned.

"Food's tight around here, too." She said again.

"... I... Didn't mean it literally."

"Shinpachi..." Gin started.

"Yes?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" He asked. I busted out laughing.

"Oh God.. Shinpachi... Girlfriend... Hahahaha!"

"Shut up, brat!" Shinpachi yelled. "Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

"How would you like to date an older woman, Otose, that is." Gin asked.

Shinpachi blinked. An image of Otose blinking seductively came in my mind. I shivered...

"Ahhhh!" Shinpachi screamed. I guess he saw it to... "Why would I date her?! Who the hell do you think I am?!" He slammed his hands on Gin's desk.

"Come on, don't get all worked up." He grabbed the TV remote and turned on the TV. "Money's just not coming in."

Kagura looked down at her tea. "You seem to enjoy watching people suffer..." She took a sip.

"That's you guys, not me!" He yelled. "It's all because you lack initiative!"

"On the contrary, Shinpachi-San." I corrected. "I think the problem is... People get off without paying us."

He didn't look convinced, so I elaborated. "Hm... Think about when we were tricked by Zura, I mean Katsura-San. We didn't get paid. Now, think about when we helped that criminal. We didn't get paid. I think we only need to do Odd Jobs when we know the person has money to give us."

"That's... Actually right." Shinpachi said, amazed.

Suddenly, Gin started banging on the TV. It was on static, for some odd reason. "Hm? Bad reception today..." He punched it again, and it slowly turned on to the news.

"Let's go to Ketsuno-San on the scene." A male reporter said. "Ketsuno Ana?"

"Yes, this is Ketsuno on the scene." She answered. I blushed, which made me blush even more since I **never **blush. She was in front of a broken building. I wonder what happened. "The mysterious beast that has appeared here recently has created havoc on the surrounding area and is now missing." They started showing pictures, and I swear they were awful! What kind of beast could do this?!

Gin looked at it with no enthusiasm in his eyes. "Another alien came through the terminal?"

"There's been a lot lately." Kagura added.

Shinpachi sighed. "Rather than worrying about an alien, we should be worrying about keeping a roof over our heads."

"Stop nagging us, Shinpachi-San!" I yelled. "I swear you're just like a nagging mother, leave us alone!"

Before Shinpachi could retort, the doorbell rang. Gin glared at the door and growled, "That bitch..."

He ran up to the door and kicked through it. Mad much? "If it's about the money, I've told ya we've got none, ya dried-up hag!" But... Instead of Otose the Old Witch being there, there were three men. Gin kicked the one in the middle in the face... Wow. "Eh?"

The man fell over, probably dead. Gin can get **really **strong when he's mad. I hope he's not dead, though. That would be sad, even if I don't know the man.

"Boss?!" The man on the right screamed. I'll call him Bobby! Oh, so he was there boss... You are screwed now, Gin-San.

"What the hell are you doing?!" The one on the left yelled. I'll call you... Joey!

"Sorry, I mistook you. Let's start over." Gin deadpanned as he walked back in the house. Wait... So you were going to do that to an old lady?! Even if it's Otose or not, you could kill her!

"Wait!" Joey pressed a gun to Gin's head. Gin stopped in his tracks, a serious look on his face. "You're the Jack of all trades, aren't you? You're coming with us."

"Sorry, but mommy always told me not to go with strangers." Gin smirked. Yep... Only Gin can make a joke on gunpoint.

"And didn't she ever tell you to do what officers of the law ask?" The one Gin kicked stood up, blood flowing from his nose. Wait... Sunglasses... Shaved beard... Uh...

Crap. I forgot his name. But, I remember he's the homeless man...

MADAO!

Yeah, I remember now! This guy is Madao. Heh, I'm so smart.

"You're from the Shogunate?" Gin asked.

"We're from the Dept. of Internal Affairs." Madao grinned. "We're here to offer you a job, Mr. Jack-Of-All-Trades."

_**A few minutes later...**_

We were now inside of a black limousine, driving through the town.

"Hasegawa Taizo of the Dept. of Internal Affairs..." Shinpachi started to inform us. "He's the guy from the Shogunate who oversees the Amanto. He's a real big shot."

"What's that? Big dong?" Kagura asked. I swear, it's either she can't hear, or she's plain stupid. It might be both.

"Yeah, he's a real dong." Gin droned. Shinpachi sweatdropped. I just sat still, looking forward. I feel... Like I'm forgetting something... Something that happened last week.

"N-no... That's not exactly it, and it's not good for a little girl to say things like that, Kagura-Chan." He told her, then started whispering in Gin's ear. "What could a big shot from the Shogunate probably want with us?"

"So what do you want with us, my man?" Gin bluntly asked.

"I heard that you guys would do anything for money, so I thought I'd hire you for a little job." Hasegawa answered.

"Gin-San gives pleasure to little girls, Kagura-Chan gives old or lonely men a good time, and Shinpachi-San does the boring Odd Jobs." I blinked seductively. "And I have some things under _my_ sleeve, too."

Gin smacked me on the head and screamed, "Shut up, kid! We don't do things like that, and why did you make it seem like I'm into little girls?! I'm not a pedophile!"

"Voca-Freak, how dare you tell him I give old or lonely men dimes. I'm not giving away my pickled seaweed money!"

"Even though he didn't give me anything bad, I just feel so... Sad." Shinpachi sighed, then yelled, "And what do you mean you have things under your sleeve?! That's a sleeve nobody would want to look under!"

Hasegawa put a cigarette in his mouth. "Hehe, I don't need you four for anything like that. It's just a simple job."

Gin snorted, "A simple job? Do you know what a job is? Look around, Amanto are running around all over the place."

"That's cold..." Hasegawa responded. "We do what we must..." The smoke was getting all in the car now. "After all, it's thanks to them that Edo has grown so much." It was obvious he was smirking now, considering his tone. "They seem to like it here, so we have to let them go about freely." Kagura was looking out the window, Gin looked disinterested, and Shinpachi listened attentively. I guess I was listening too, I actually want to see where this conversation is going. "It's stupid to even think of driving them out of this planet."

"It's stupid to think you can't drive them out of this planet." I retorted angrily. "I think that if everyone would come together, we can win against the Amanto. We would need help from the other countries, though."

"And do you think they'll help us?" Hasegawa asked. "Do you really think they would risk their country to help us? If we all actually tried to go against the Amanto, what if we still lose? They would try to purge the human race, so it'll be better to just let them stay here. It's not like they're doing anything to me, anyways."

"That tells me you just care about yourself, and whatever happens to you is what you deserve!" I yelled. I was a little sad that he was going to become homeless, but now I don't care. I'll just hold a grudge, and ignore him.

He looked out the window, disinterested. "Kids should stay in a kids place."

I noticed everyone was looking at me, so I crossed my arms in defiance.

... Am I really going through puberty? Hm...

"Anyway, what is it you want from us?" Gin asked, trying to change the subject. I decided I wasn't going to talk unless I was being talked to. I'm not in the mood anymore.

"Ah, right." He remembered. "This job requires stealth. If we draw too much attention, the Shogunate may catch wind of it..." He smiled. "To tell the truth, we're in the midst of a crisis with another country that may destroy ours entirely." What? I don't remember this... "The prince of an influential star system is currently staying here, but he's run into some trouble, you see..."

_**Thirty minutes later...**_

"My beautiful per has gone missing. Find it and bring it back to me." This.. Purple alien thing told us. It... It's so ugly. And fat... And... Ugh! It's actually... Laughable. The way he caressed the cat... Hehe... Hehehehe...

We all instinctively turned around, I was laughing uncontrollably though.

"Hey, wait!" Hasegawa yelled, and grabbed Gin's shoulder. "You're the Yorozuya, right?! You'll do anything, right?! Please, do this! Please,_ please_!"

"Come on... I swear I'll kick you to next week, bald patch!" Gin deadpanned.

"Soul patch!" Kagura tried to echo. I swear, if she messes up another word.

"Fine! I'm fine with being a bald patch and a soul patch, but please!" Hasegawa kept trying to persuade.

I was still laughing uncontrollably, rolling on the grass. This was too funny..

He put his arms around Gin. "This is bad. Our country owes a lot of money to theirs, you see..."

"I don't give a shit. Deal with it yerself." Gin spat. "If this country can fall over because of a lost pet, then it should."

"What do you mean a lost pet?" The alien questioned. "Pace is like family to me."

"Then you look for him, you stupid princeling." Gin spat out again. He must be really mad...

Hasegawa quickly put his hands over Gin's mouth. "Shut up! He may be an idiot, but he's still a prince!"

Kagura folded her arms and started to talk, "A strong women would forget about her past relationships and prepare herself for new ones."

"I didn't get dumped, and I'm not a women!" Hasegawa yelled at her. "I'm saying _he's _a prince! A prince!"

"I see. He's a prince because he's an idiot." Shinpachi stated.

"No! He's a prince _even though _he's an idiot!" Hasegawa exclaimed.

"I see, he's an idiot even though he's a prince."

"So he's an idiotic prince."

"Prince Idiot." I concluded.

"Come on, cretins!" Some skinny, green Amanto yelled at us. I... Did not notice him. Not at all. "Don't call the idiot an idiotic prince! You'll hurt his feelings!"

"Woah!" I exclaimed. "When did you get here?!"

"I've been here the whole time..."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh... OK."

"Anyway..." Shinpachi started, trying to change the mood. "Can't you do this on your own?"

Hasegawa looked down, "Well, we're having some problems of our own..." He turned around and smirked. "The Yorozuya should be able to handle this without a problem, right?"

"Well, even as the Yorozuya, we aren't so far gone that we'd run errands for incompetent government assholes." Gin spat. He turned around. "Let's get outta here, Shinpachi, Kagura, Len."

We all started to walk away.

"Bye, big dong." Kagura said.

A few seconds later, Hasegawa had to use his last trick. "Well, I'd pay you quite generously..." He opened up a wooden box, with **tons **of money in it.

All our ears shot up, and we quickly turned around. I was even saluting. "So, what do you want us to do?"

"We're at your command, master!" Kagura yelled.

"We'll do anything you want, even extra!" I exclaimed.

"Come on, you guys, don't just accept it!" Shinpachi yelled.

Hasegawa pulled out a picture of this pink octopus wrapping around Prince Idiot. "What we want you to find is this octopus-looking alien named Pace." We all looked at the picture blankly. "He's probably just wandering around town. Anyway, you may use some amount of force, but please bring it here unharmed."

_**Five minutes later... **_

We were walking through a harbor now, trying to find this alien. I really want that money, because then I could get more food to eat. That would be... Ah~.

"This "Pace" may look like an octopus, but would it really be at a harbor?" Shinpachi asked.

"This is our best guess..." I replied.

"We've gotta get home before sunset, though." Kagura informed.

Suddenly, Shinpachi exclaimed, "Octupi in pots? Why not put one of those out for a while and wait?"

"Huh? What are you, some shy high-schooler?" Gin deadpanned. "In both love and octupi hunting, you have to take the initiative!" He turned around and began walking again. "Let's go, and don't spout every lame idea you have."

We walked over to a man selling dumplings and showed him the picture. "Hm? I know more than most about the octupi from the sea, but I don't know much about the octupi from space." Shinpachi and I were the only ones listening to him, Kagura and Gin were doing random stuff. "Try asking another fisherman."

We showed this other man the picture, well.. Shinpachi did. Gin, Kagura, and I were eating dumplings. "I've seen a lot of octupi, but never a face like this." I didn't think so. "Hey, Sabu. Have you seen an octupi like this?"

This boy came out of nowhere and answered, "Oh yeah, I think I've seen this one at the snack shop across the street." ...Really?

We followed the boy's advice, and were now at the snack shop. The name of the place was called Snack Octopus, ironically. Ugh, I would never eat octopus...

We were now talking to this pink haired lady. "So, what do you want with me?"

"There she is!" Gin and Kagura exclaimed.

I facepalmed while Shinpachi started yelling, "Close, but no cigar!"

Gin looked closely at the picture, "Well, the eyes do look similar... Think we can fool him?"

"It's possible!" Kagura exclaimed.

"Oh, Shut up! She's a person!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Hey, are you all making fun of me?!" The lady asked. She kind of did look like an octopus... Maybe the Idiot Prince won't notice... We can get so much money... Money~…

Gin put his arms around the lady, "Not at all. From today on, you're known as Pace."

"Huh?!" She exclaimed. "My name's Vanessa!" She looked piss...

Kagura put her arms around her too, "OK then, your name's Vanessa Pace."

"Just Vanessa!"

"Come on." Gin yawned. "Just come with us."

"Come on, the one we have to bring back is the alien octopus." Shinpachi butted in.

"This is all very comical." I deadpanned.

"Wait, did you say Alien Octopus?" The lady asked.

"Did you see it?" I answered her question with a question. Heh... Kind of funny...

"Well, they said they had something like that in the clinic over there..." She pointed to this hospital. "One lady said..."

Suddenly, my heart started to hurt. I grabbed my chest, and got on my knees, "Argh!"

"Huh?! Len-Kun?!" Shinpachi yelled as he bent down. "Is anything wrong? Are you OK?"

It... Really hurts. Am I... Having a heart attack?

I noticed Kagura and Gin getting worried, heck, even the lady looked scared. Although, that was the last thing I saw before I blacked out.

...

It was cold. That was the first thing I noticed when I returned to consciousness. I also noticed I was on a couch.

A red couch.

Inside of room filled with books.

Red books.

And sitting across from me was a man.

He was on a red chair.

"W-what's... Going on?" I asked. He just smiled warmly. It was one of those smiles that you couldn't help but feel safe from. It was... Pleasant. "Who are you? What am I doing here?"

"Don't be alarmed." He said. "You can call me... The 'Taker'."

I sweatdropped. "Like... The 'Giver'?"

He gasped, "Wha! You know my brother?!"

The Giver is a book that I was reading in school until I got sent here. It's a very good book, and I could tell he read it before.

"Um, yeah. Anyway..." I looked away. I then realized how I got here. "Wait! I had a heart attack! And I fainted... Or... Died..."

The 'Taker' quickly responded, "Oh, no! Sorry, it's just that since this is the second time for you coming here, it takes a lot of pressure. So, it seemed like you had a heart attack, but you're fine."

"I don't understand.. Why am I here?!" I was really happy I wasn't dead, but I still needed answers. "And what do you mean this is my second time? I don't remember coming here at all!"

"Now, now. Please calm down." He snapped his fingers, and a maid appeared out of nowhere. "Can you tell Jalen-Kun everything?" Jalen... I haven't used that name in a while.

She nodded, "Please relax while I tell you everything." Her voice was monotonous, no emotion at all. "Remember the last chapter? You fainted while running from the cops, and your spirit ended up here. Your body was still in the car. Your spirit is here now, but you aren't dead. Now, 'Taker'-Sama has summoned you here to have a chat with you. You will feel excruciating pain in your chest when he does this. He summons you because he wants to answer all the questions you have, and to keep your emotions in check."

"..." I had no response. If what she is saying is true... "So, you will answer any of my questions... Right."

He nodded, so I asked, "Why... Am I here? I really love it here... It's just that I kind of miss my family. Or... Better yet..." I gulped. "I don't want them to worry about me because I'm gone."

The 'Taker' replied, "Well, answering your first question... You're here because you truly want to be here. I just made you come here, but without you really wanting to come... You would still be at home." He laughed. "And do not worry about your family, they are fine. As I said the first time you came here, a person has two souls. One is the dominant, but the other is a backup."

"So, my mom doesn't know I'm here?" I asked. He nodded.

"Imagine... A doppelganger. While you are here, your other... Hm... Body is there. It's quite hard to explain." He told me. "Well, That's enough for today. See you another time, it's time for you to wake up." He clapped, and I felt myself leaving that place, and waking up in another...

...

"Eh..." I rubbed my head, and stared at the scene happening before me. Gin was holding his wooden sword in front of a... Giant... Octopus... "Aaaahhhhhh! What is that?!"

"Oh! Len-Kun! You're up!" Shinpachi exclaimed. I looked around and saw that we were at the place where we first met Prince Idiot. Although, he was now unconscious for some reason.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"Pace gets bigger when put in hot water, and..." He sweatdropped. "Kagura tried to boil it..."

I sweatdropped and said. "So Gin-San is fighting it now, but I thought we couldn't hurt it..."

"Itadakimasu!" Gin yelled as get charged towards the octopus. I also noticed Kagura was gone too. Hm... I wonder why?

"No waaay!" Hasegawa yelled as get tripped Gin and made him fall on his head.

Gin held his head in pain, "What are you doing? I don't have any money..."

"The Prince told us to capture it unharmed!" Hasegawa yelled. Of course...

"Unharmed?! And how do you expect to do that?!"

"I've called you specifically for that purpose!"

Gin put his head down in defeat, "There's no way, no way at all!"

Suddenly, I felt something wrap around me, and a shadow went over my eyes as I knew what it was. The octopus grabbed me, and I guess Shinpachi too.

I'm scared now.

"Ahhh!" We screamed. "Gin-Saaan! Help me!" I added.

"Shinpachi! Len-Kun!" Gin yelled. I was hopeful he would save us, but all that hope went down the toilet when Hasegawa placed his gun on Gin's head.

That. Fuckin'. Bastard.

I couldn't hear much of what they were saying with Shinpachi's screaming, and... I guess I was screaming too. Who wouldn't?

"He's eating meee!" Shinpachi screamed. The octopus started to lower us into it's mouth. "Are you listening to me?!"

"Kill that bastard, Gin-San! Kill em'!" I yelled.

Gin kicked the gun out of Hasegawa's hand then ran towards us, his sword in hand. He maneuvered pass the octopus' tentacles and yelled, "Shinpachi! Len-Kun!"

We were now inside of the octopus' mouth. The only reason we weren't dead by now was because Shinpachi was desperately holding it's mouth open. I was actually too scared to do anything, it's one thing in Anime, but it's another in real life. I wouldn't be surprised if I looked emotionless right now. "I can't hold it! We're gonna be eaten!"

Gin jumped up, "I don't care if this country falls or not. I just want to live as long as I can by divine Providence!" He jumped inside it's mouth, right past us. Everyone gasped.

Suddenly, Kagura came back with a bottle of sauce. "Gin-Chan! The soy sauce!" She looked happy...

The monster suddenly growled, and regurgitated. It was... Disgusting... Pink throw up was all over me... Gin grabbed Shinpachi and I and we crawled out the monster's mouth.

"Hasegawa! What is the meaning of this?!" Uh-oh. The Prince was up, and he was pissed. "I thought you said you'd get him back unharmed! What will you do to make this right? This will be an international incident! Hey, are you listening to me?!" Hasegawa just stood there smoking, looking indifferent.

I ignored them for a while, and looked at my group. Shinpachi was on his knees, breathing hard, Gin was just standing up stretching, and Kagura was pouring soy sauce on the fallen octopus. I was sitting down, ready to throw up. "Ugh, I hate pink slime... I'm going to take a long bath tonight..."

Suddenly, Hasegawa uppercutted the Prince and his green assistant. "Shut the fuck up, you fucking, spoiled-brat miscreant!" The Prince landed on the ground first, then his assistant landed on top of him. Hasegawa smirked, but it was gone when Gin made some sort of noise. It went like uh-huh.

For some reason, it just made me smile. We were all smiling actually. "Are you supposed to be doing that?"

Hasegawa blew out a puff of smoke, "Like I care, you stupid sod. This is a samurai's country." He looked up to the sky. "I'll never let them do as they please here."

"But the Amanto have pretty much taken over this country. There's no way we can drive them out." Shinpachi stated.

"Don't say that, I'm pretty sure we can... Somehow. Heh, before long, we might even forget about them." I said. Later on in the episodes, the Amanto weren't even a threat anymore. I actually forgot about them.

We all began walking back home, smiling. I'm still covered in slime, though... I noticed Hasegawa yell, "Eh!" Yeah, he probably just found out that was the bad thing to do. Poor Hasegawa...

**Preview**

"Gin-San, what are you doing?!" Shinpachi yelled. "It hasn't even been two months since the show started, and you're already resorting to cheap one-liners and toilet jokes! "

"Next Time! The difference between annoyance and persistence is paper thin!"

_**Hai hai everyone! I'm so glad you are all still reading this! I hope you can review some more, and... Um... Is that it? What else do I say? Um...**_

_**The next episode the Yorozuya come in during half the episode, so Len-Kun is going to reflect on everything, and you'll see how he interacts with the Yorozuya when they aren't doing an episode. OK! Bye nii~!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Into the World of Gintama **

Chapter 5: The difference between annoyance and persistence is paper thin.

Today was a regular day. Kagura-Chan was buying pickled seaweed, Gin-San was asleep on the couch (a Jump Comic covering his face), and Shinpachi-San was poring me some sweet tea. Man... I just love the stuff. It tastes way better than that green tea, by the way.

"So, Len-Kun..." Shinpachi-San put the tea on the table. I quickly grabbed it and brought it to my mouth. Ah~ so refreshing. "Isn't this tea kind of western? It's pretty strange that you like it so much." He giggled.

"Oh, poor Shinpachi-San." I sighed. "The strange thing is that you haven't tasted this before. The taste is magnificent! It just.. Completes me!"

"Does it bring back any memories? You know... Since you have slight amnesia..." He asked.

Crap. I almost forgot about that... They don't know I'm not from this world. If they did... Would anything change? That's what I'm scared of... That when they find out, they'll act all weird. I... Can't take that.

"... Even if I did, what would it matter?" I decided to avoid the question. "I still don't have anywhere to go... This is the only place I have."

"But your family!"

"Have you seen Ketsuno Ana talk about a missing child?" I replied darkly. "**I have no family here!**"

Shinpachi-San smiled weakly, "That's not true. Your family is here. Kagura-Chan, Gin-San, and I."

"Do you really believe that, Shinpachi-San?"

"Of course. And I'm sure Gin-San and Kagura-Chan feel the same." He smiled stronger now. "Now, do you need any more tea?"

I looked down, and realized I wasted my tea. I gasped, and fell on the floor. "My... Precious... Tea-Kun!"

Shinpachi-San laughed as he wiped the table with a paper towel and went to get a new cup of tea.

I can't believe I got so emotional... Usually I would hide my emotions with a straight face, but now that I'm in this world... Is this why I need regular checks with the 'Taker'?

Suddenly, Kagura-Chan ran in the house. She was holding a bag of pickled seaweed, for some reason...

For some reason because she was only supposed to buy two.

"Kagura-Chan! Why did you buy all that pickled seaweed?!" Shinpachi-San asked as he handed me my cup of sweet tea. Yum~!

"Well, I was planning on buying two, but the clerk practically begged me to get a lot! Yep!" She waved her arms around. "And I didn't want to make people suffer, like _someone _I know. Yep!"

"You are the one trying to make _me_ suffer!" Shinpachi-San yelled.

"Anyway, that was our food money, wasn't it? What are we going to eat?" I asked.

Kagura-Chan grinned and grabbed one of her pickled seaweed, "Pickled Sea-"

"HELL NO!"

Shinpachi-San slammed his fist on the table. "I hate it when you guys do this! Kagura-Chan, return those! Gin-San, wake up!"

"I spat on them."

"No, Glasses-Kun."

"My name is Shinpachi!" Shinpachi-San yelled. "Gah! Whatever, I'm leaving." Shinpachi-San stomped out the house.

"Kagura-Chan... I don't think you should have done that..." I told her. "We already, well, you already ate all that octopus. How much more food do you need?"

"A lady has to eat to live." She replied, showing off her body. "If they try harder to get work, then we would be rich."

"Wait... Kagura-Chan?" Gin-San asked. "You spent all the money on pickled seaweed?"

"Um... No. A few old ladies asked for some money for their funeral..."

Gin-San jumped up, and grabbed Kagura-Chan by the collar. "You lying little brat! I don't have any money for my strawberry milk!" Kagura-Chan just picked her nose while Gin-San shook her. "You're the next one who's going to have a funeral!"

I would say calm down right now... But I'm actually pretty pissed too. What if I drink all my sweet tea, and we don't have any money to get any more?!

...

Shit.

I guess Kagura-Chan got tired of Gin-San, because she grabbed him by the arm and threw him across the room. He landed on his desk and stopped moving. I guess he was unconscious now.

"Kagura-Chan, don't you think that you're... Overreacting?" I asked. She shrugged.

"His morning breath was getting in my face." Kagura-Chan replied. "And I'm kind of helping him. If he keeps drinking that strawberry milk he'll be a diabetic."

"Ah... I see." I said. "Although, we have no money to replace my sweet tea. What are you going to do about that?"

"Your kidneys might fail if you keep drinking that stuff."

"BULL SHIT! WE NEED MONEY TO EAT!"

Kagura-Chan acted shocked, "Oh~ my son... He's already cursing in front of me... Where did I go wrong?"

"You're two years older than me!"

"Oh~ now he thinks he's grown..." She tapped her chin then sighed, "Gintoki!"

Gintoki? You don't call him that... What's going on?!

Gin-San suddenly walked up beside us, a sake bottle in hand. "Urg... I told you not to bother me while I'm drinking!"

"Don't you think it's too early to drink? And weren't you just unconscious? And why did you call him Gintoki, Kagura-Chan? What's going on?!"

"Oh~" She sighed. How many times is she going to do that?! "Our son is misbehaving... He's cursing in front of me, and he's telling me I'm not much older than him... What should we do?"

"I'm** not** your son. I'm **not **misbehaving. I **can do **what I want. You **aren't **much older than me. I feel like the straight man here... "

Gin grunted and a I noticed a belt in his hands. Oh gosh... "Didn't I tell you to stop cursing, you misbehaving useless child!" He swung the belt at me, but I dodged it.

"What the heck! Gin-San!" I yelled. "Come on! This joke has gone on far enough!"

"Why can't you carry on the family tradition and go to college?! Why are you being so indifferent about our feelings?!"

"Why are you being an idiot?! When did y'all even have time to rehearse this?!"

"Hey! Leave my teammate alone, ya know!" Kagura-Chan yelled, a Hidden Leaf headband on.

"Naruto?!"

Gin-San chuckled and brought out a kunai. "I'm sorry... But my mission is to kill this ninja!"

"OMG! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT KUNAI FROM?! YOU COULD HURT SOMEONE LIKE THAT!"

Kagura-Chan growled and took out one of her own. Oh... My... Gawd... What's going on?

She got behind him swiftly and stabbed him in the back. Gin-San fell over, dead. Kagura-Chan ran over to me and bent down beside me, "Are you OK, Sakura-Chan?" Why am I Sakura?!

"Um... Yeah... Thanks for... Saving me?"

She got up and turned around, "It's not like I wanted to help you... It's a mission..."

TSUNDERE!

_**Three hours later...**_

We were now in some sort of restaurant, sitting down with Shinpachi-San and his sister, Otae-San. I guess this is the episode where Kondo-San meets Otae-San and stalks her. So Shinpachi-San asks Gin-San for help.

Shinpachi-San just now finished explaining everything that has happened, "So, that's the story, Gin-San."

"Whadya mean, 'that's the story', ya little shit?!" Gin-San asked irritably. "How long has it been since this episodes started? It took you this long to get me?" Kagura-Chan was the only one eating. A giant bowl of noodles. "I'm the main character! Isn't it ridiculous that I don't appear?"

"Twelve minutes, five seconds." Some random waiter said. What the heck? Was he timing Kagura-Chan eating?

"This is Gintama, right? Hey, what, huh, right? If it were just 'Tama' it'd be a flop! If I'm not in it, why's it Gintama?!" Gin-San yelled.

"Well, today's episode is called: Expose! 24 Hours in the Lives of the Out of Control Shinsengumi!" Shinpachi-San informed. No it's not... Is it? I better change it then.

Chapter 5: Expose! 24 Hours in the Lives of the Out of Control Shinsengumi!

"What's up with that? I didn't hear anything about this!" Gin-San yelled.

"Don't complain, Gin-San." Shinpachi-San nagged. "At this rate, the Shinsengumi may be the main characters."

Gin-San's face paled, "Seriously?!" He suddenly looked at me. "That's right! They didn't show the Gintama opening song today! That was a close call! This is Gintama! And I'm the _main character_ !"

**Lalala... Lalala... Lalala... Aah...**

**Let's go out open my mind**

**Let's go sweet dream other side **

**Let's break free of this cage that binds us always in time**

**The rusted key lies in your big racing heart**

**But I know I can never return to that place **

**To all those forgotten days in time (Hey baby why...)**

**They stick together, pale in my mind (I want to cry...)**

**I don't want to lose the part of myself that's a coward **

**I cannot run from my destiny, but I am not alone **

**I'll be at your side no matter the cost **

**I don't care if, all our dreams are sad ones, it doesn't matter **

**I want to stroke away all of your tears... Baby **

**I pray I can believe **

**That you will cut through the inky darkness of our memories **

**Lalala... Lalala... Lalala... Aah...**

"It's not a good thing you got marriage proposal?" Gin-San asked. "He was wearing a sword, so he must be some kind of police officer, or something like that." He started to eat his parfait. "Sounds like a smart match. You should take whomever you can before it's too late."

Otae-San jumped on the table and smashed Gin-San's head into his parfait. "And what does that mean?!" She sat back down and sighed. "At first, I thought he'd give it up after a while, so I didn't really mind, but... Wherever I went, he was right there. It's really bizarre!"

"Alright, thirty more seconds." The waiter said.

"Alright, hurry it up, Kagura-Chan." Kagura-Chan started eating the bowl of noodles faster. "We didn't bring any cash."

"Are you guys even listening?!" Shinpachi-San yelled.

"Come on, what do you want me to do?" Gin-San asked. "If you wanna hire me, you gotta pay up front!"

Shinpachi-San narrowed his eyes, "Gin-San... I haven't been paid in two months... So if anyone's going to pay, it's you."

"Well, someone's gonna have to." Gin-San smiled.

Shinpachi-San whispered in Gin-San's ear, "Come on, you have to get going, or you'll be replaced."

Gin gasped and stood up. He walked in the center of the room and yelled, "Come out, knave! Where are you, Stalker! I'll rain judgement down upon you!"

Suddenly, a man came out from under a table and yelled, "Is that a challenge?!" He stood up. "If you wanna throw down, Let's take it outside!" I guess that's Kondo-San.

"He's really here." Shinpachi-San said.

"What a freak." I deadpanned.

"You're a halfwit, coming out when being called a stalker!" Gin-San yelled. "Does that mean you admit you're a stalker?"

"That's right." Oh, so he admits it? "I'm a stalker of love, and love is my quarry!" He looked at Gin-San in an annoyed matter. "And anyway, you look like you're familiar with Otae-San. What's your relationship with her? I'm so jealous of you, I could pop!"

Otae-San walked over to Gin-San and grabbed his arm. She smiled. "He's my fiance. I'm getting married to him in the fall."

"Is that so?" He asked.

"We've already done this and that together, so give up on me." She explained.

Kondo-San looked pissed now, I could actually see the vein on his forehead. "This, that, and the other thing?!"

"Well, they haven't done _that _other thing..." Shinpachi-San deadpanned.

"No, that's fine, Otae-San!" Kondo-San tried to get his words together, I could feel it. "No matter the life you've chosen to live, I love you just as you are." Talk about dumb...

"Huh?"

"Just like how you loved me even though I was impotent." He explained. How dumb.

"I don't love you."

"Hey, Silver Perm!" He pointed at Gin-San, who was looking very indifferent about all this. "I don't care if you're Otae-San's fiance! I challenge you to a duel! Otae-San is the prize!"

_**A few minutes later...**_

We were now standing on top of a bridge. How should I explain this place... Hm? OK, there was sand under us, and that's what Kondo-San was standing on. He would have been under water otherwise. Anyway, he was waiting for Gin-San to come, sword in hand. I guess they were going all out.

"Man, I shouldn't have lied like that..." Otae-San sighed.

"Yeah, it seems like things have gotten worse." Shinpachi-San agreed.

I nodded my head, "He's just standing there, waiting for Gin-San. And he has a real sword... Does he plan on killing him?"

"I hope not." Otae-San replied. "The aura of calm emanating from him before a battle means he's practically unshakable."

"Don't worry..." Kagura-Chan said. She held up her umbrella like you would a gun. "If Gin-Chan gets in trouble... I'll let him have it with my umbrella!" The wind blew her hair to make it dramatic.

Otae-San smiled, "Just don't kill him."

"Hey four-eyes! Where is he?!" Kondo-San yelled/asked.

"Who are you calling four-eyes?!" Shinpachi-San yelled. "He said he was going shopping, or something."

"He's probably running scared right now..." Kondo-San smirked. I growled.

"He could easily beat a gorilla like you, anyone could!" I yelled.

"Oh yeah?!" He taunted. "Come down here and beat me, then!" I could see the tick mark on his forehead. "And I'm not a gorilla!"

I don't know what got into me, but for some odd reason I grabbed Shinpachi-San's wooden sword and jumped down. "Don't worry, Otae-San... I'll make sure this stalker..." I charged at him. "Learn his place!"

Hehe... I've never actually used a sword before... Soo...

I kind of just swung at him randomly. None of them hit him, because he was dodging them, of course. And I think if I did hit him, it wouldn't do much because I'm not as strong as him... So...

"Yaaaahh!" I yelled as I stopped swinging and swiftly dashed beside him. I was right beside him, so I quickly swung the sword again, hoping to get a hit. I didn't.

He jumped back, then dashed back in front of me and swung the sword at my face. There was also something else that was bad with this fight. I had a wooden sword, he didn't. I shut my eyes, hoping that it would make me not feel the pain.

"Len-Kun!" Shinpachi-San and Kagura-Chan yelled. Why didn't Otae-San yell? She probably doesn't even care... This was stupid of me.

I fell on the ground, and waited about ten seconds before opening my eyes. Kondo-San had stopped the sword right at my throat, saving me.

"Get up, kid." He ordered. "I'm not going to kill some kid."

_**A few hours later... **_

There was a crowd on top of the bridge now. Kondo-San was still waiting for Gin-San, and the crowd was waiting for a fight. I sighed as I covered my face with my hands. Why did I do that, that was so embarrassing... I'm glad he didn't kill me, but I just feel so defeated. It can't be helped, though. I'm just a kid, and that was my first time holding a sword.

"What's going on here?" Jonas asked. Random guy, don't pay attention to him.

"There's a duel about to start." Jason replied.

"A duel? That's rare nowadays. " Jonas said.

"Snacks? Crackers, anyone?" Kagura-Chan asked. They were selling stuff, I guess they'll really do anything to get money...

"He's still not here?" Kondo-San yelled. "He really did run away, didn't he?" He glanced at me, but then turned back. I really dislike him.

"Idiot, I'm not gonna run away from a small fry like you."

We all turned to see Gin-San walking down the stairs.

"You're late." Kondo-San said. "Were you getting your hair dyed, or something?"

"A hero never dyes his hair!" Gin-San yelled. His face got serious. "I needed sugar."

I sweatdropped. He was really gone all this time for sugar?!

"I never heard of a hero who needs a sugar rush to fight."

Gin-San looked up, "How nice... It's sunset." Kondo-San looked back at the setting sun. "Duels should be fought in the evening."

"You've got a silver tongue, for a silver-haired perm-boy."

"You're pretty articulate yourself, for a gorilla."

"I'm not a gorilla! I may look like a gorilla, but I'm not!"

"Right then, Let's get started." Gin-San didn't look worried at all, hm...

"What are the terms?" Kondo-San asked. "If you want a real sword, I'll lend you one. I'll let you choose."

"I'm fine with just this." Gin-San replied. "Let's just do this."

"You think so lightly of me?" Kondo-San glared. Gawd, just fight already!

"I'm sorry, but I'm not the kind of guy who'd take a man's life just to settle a score." Gin-San smirked. "I'll risk mine instead." Kondo-San blinked. "In Otae's stead, I'll wager my life." He paused. "If you win, Otae still won't be yours, but I, the interloper, will be gone. You need only woo her, and she'll be yours." His smirk grew. "But if I win, then I'd like you to stop pursuing Otae."

Otae-San looked terrified, so I put my hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm sure Gin-San will win. Hehe." She seemed to calm down.

Kondo-San started to laugh. "You're a good man, no, an honorable man." He dropped his sword and looked at me. "Kid, lend me your wooden sword."

"Hell no."

Suddenly, Gin-San threw his sword at him. His alien skin sword. His Ultra Mega Sword that can cut through steel. "You're a good man, too."

"Use that-my pride and joy, the Touya-Ko." I grinned and threw Shinpachi-San's sword at him. He easily caught it. "Win or lose, let's not have any regrets."

Kondo-San picked Gin-San's sword up, "Right, let's fight like men!" They dashed at each other. "Let's go!"

"Be gentle!" Gin-San smirked.

Suddenly, Kondo-San's sword broke. "Oh, crap!" His expression was too funny. "Wait a minute! The sword you gave me broke off the handle!"

Gin-San just ignored him as he smacked Kondo-San with the sword. "Aaaaaahhhhh!"

I laughed, Otae-San looked surprised, Shinpachi-San looked _really _surprised, and Kagura-Chan looked indifferent.

Kondo-San was on the ground, a red mark on his cheek.

"You're so naive." Gin-San laughed. "Sooooooo naive..." Gin-San smiled down at Kondo-San. "To think that an enemy would give you his weapon. I fixed it earlier so it would break if you so much as swing it around."

"You... Went so far?" Kondo-San muttered.

"It'd be stupid for anyone to lose anything over a matter like this." Oh gawd... His voice mixed with his face. I just can't stop laughing! "This was the best way to settle it painlessly."

"This was... Painless?" Kondo-San asked, before he fell unconscious.

Gin-San walked over to us, "Alright then, let's go you guy-" Shinpachi-San and Kagura-Chan both jumped down and kicked Gin-San in the face. "Aaaugh!"

Shinpachi-San then started kicking Gin-San while Kagura-Chan was holding him back. "I misjudged you! I thought you were an honorable samurai!"

"Are you proud of yourself, you damn dirty cheat?!"

"Come on, I protected your sister, don't be like-" A kick in the face shut him up.

Kagura-Chan started to walk away. "I'm going home! Don't ever show your face to me again!"

Shinpachi-San started to walk away, too. "I'm taking a leave of absence!"

Gin-San just stayed on the ground, holding his balls. Tsk tsk tsk. You should have known better, Gin-San.

"This is really the worst pain..." Gin-San muttered as tears flowed from his eyes.

"What a card..." Otae-San said as she walked away. "But... I understand him." She waved at me. "Bye, Len-Kun. And make sure Gin-San gets home safely."

"Bye nii~..." I smirked. "Otae-Chan."

**Preview **

"Who could have done this to commander Kondo?! Even if he's a gorilla, he's our precious commander!"

"A silver haired samurai? You're that guy?! And... Blue haired boy? B.H.B?"

"Next Time: You should go all out in a fight!"

_**PEOPLE! I AM SO SORRY THIS IS VERY LATE! I JUST DIDN'T FEEL SO GOOD, AND DIDN'T WRITE FOR A WHILE, BUT I'M ENERGIZED NOW! **_

_**Hehehehe, Bye nii~!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Into the World of Gintama **

Chapter 6: You Should Go All-Out In A Fight

Shinpachi-San's sister, who works at a snack bar, met an impotent drunkard. In order to deter this lovesick stalker, Gin-San said he was her fiance and challenged him to a duel. Gin-San won by using a rather unheroic dirty trick... Isn't this turning out nicely?

* * *

**Lalala... Lalala... Lalala... Aah...**

**Let's go out open my mind**

**Let's go sweet dream other side **

**Let's break free of this cage that binds us always in time**

**The rusted key lies in your big racing heart**

**But I know I can never return to that place **

**To all those forgotten days in time (Hey baby why...)**

**They stick together, pale in my mind (I want to cry...)**

**I don't want to lose the part of myself that's a coward **

**I cannot run from my destiny, but I am not alone **

**I'll be at your side no matter the cost **

**I don't care if, all our dreams are sad ones, it doesn't matter **

**I want to stroke away all of your tears... Baby **

**I pray I can believe **

**That you will cut through the inky darkness of our memories **

**Lalala... Lalala... Lalala... Aah...**

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You're not here to challenge me, are you?" Gin-San started. "That's not just stupid, but arrogant too. I burp at your insolence." He then burped.

"If your gonna do it, then give it your all." Kagura-Chan glared. "Burp so hard that you may never burp again!" She then burped.

"Heh, I'm not so soft as to be defeated by such a pitiful enemy." Shinpachi-San smirked. "This country isn't about burping as much as the will to burp!" He then burped.

"Quit your burping and just get on with it!" The client ordered, but also burped. Yes, client. We FINALLY got a real client! We might actually get paid, yes!

The Yorozuya were glaring at each other in the middle of the room. The client was sitting on the couch watching them while I was sitting on the other couch drinking sweet tea. Ah~… My Tea-Kun!

"What the heck is this?" Gin-San blinked. "I can hear what you're thinking! Do you hope to get sympathy for faking insanity?" What? I didn't hear them...

It seems like their glaring got worse.

"How did it come to this?" The client asked. He turned around and pointed to no one in particular. "Anyway, take a look at this!"

* * *

~The Story Thus Far~

"Gintoki, Shinpachi, Kagura, and Len were spending another peaceful Sunday in the Yorozuya, as usual. But a certain client would shatter their peaceful rest..." The client said. Wait... Is he going to narrate? The Yorozuya are still glaring... Weird. "That man was the 63-year-old, Virgo carpenter and Kabuki-circuit star: Ishida 'Pierre' Genpachi Zeamon." Yeah, I... Think he's exaggerating. "He requested help with his carpentry, but his request concealed a fearsome trap!" Not really... Not to me, anyway. "Yes! He needed two-only two-to help with his work!" ...Huh? In the Anime, I could have sworn he needed one. Hm... "In that moment, they made their moves. They argued back and forth about how to settle such a high-stakes decision. Well, except Len who seemed to not really care." True. "They all had ideas, but each was rejected in turn." Yes. I tried to pitch an idea, but was kicked in the face by Kagura-Chan. I... I can still feel the pain a little... "But then, following the man's advice, they reached a compromise on how to settle their dispute." Yes, and it's so~ stupid. "And that method was... Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

~The Story Thus Far: Over!~

* * *

"All right, we're only gonna do this once! No complaints!" Gin-San explained. They all nodded. "All right then. Rock-"

Kagura-Chan smacked Gin-San, causing blood to come out his mouth. He fell on the ground, hurt.

"What are you doing, Kagura-Chan?" Shinpachi-San asked. "This is Rock-Paper-Scissors! You don't hit anyone!"

Kagura-Chan got in a fighting pose. "The first blow decides the match."

"But this is Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

Gin-San stood up and wiped the blood off his mouth. "Fine then. If you're willing to go at it, then so am I!" He grabbed his sword and also got in fighting position.

"Hey! I'm telling you this is Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

After a few minutes, they got back in Rock-Paper-Scissors position.

"OK! We're doing this once." Gin-San explained again. They nodded, then started to do the usual thing. "No complaints! Alright then, let's go!"

They all put out paper and paused.

"Come on, what are you doing, you guys?" Gin-San asked. "I thought the old man said to settle this with the first throw!" I could see Genpachi-San tense when being called old.

"Well, in a sense, one could say it's settled..." Kagura-Chan replied.

"What's that? Making excuses?" Gin-San questioned. "I don't even know what you mean!"

"Well, you put out paper too, Gin-San..." Shinpachi-San droned.

Gin-San blinked, and they all looked down at their hands. A moment of silence occured.

They all got back in position. "All right! Rock-Paper-Scissors!"

Shinpachi-San was the only one to put out rock. He was also the only one to put out anything... Normal. He looked at Kagura-Chan, who seemed to be doing shadow puppets. "You're doing shadow puppets?" He then looked at Gin-San, who had miniature puppets on his fingers. "And what the hell is that?!"

"Can't you see? It's a crab, a crab!" Kagura-Chan explained. No... No one could see that, Kagura-Chan...

"Well, this is better than last time..." Gin-San deadpanned. He held up his hands to show them to Shinpachi-San. "Your rock can't stand up to my family."

"What kind of family is that?!"

"You should just admit defeat." Gin-San made one of his puppets say.

Shinpachi-San lost it. "GODDAMMIT, IT'S ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS!"

"You lose, Shinpachi. You and Gin-Chan go work hard now."

"Why do I lose?"

"And why do I have to work with him?! I beat you both fair and square. Don't besmirch my honor!" Genpachi-San was looking irritated now.

"Shut up! Don't you know their are rules here?" Genpachi-San started to get up, with a sigh.

"What the hell does that mean?!"

He grabbed me by the arm then grabbed Gin-San by his arm. "All right, they win." Gin-San had on a blank expression.

"Victory."

"…Eh?"

"Whaaaaaaat?!" Shinpachi-San exclaimed.

Kagura-Chan gasped. "W-w-what?"

Gin-San looked at them, victory in his eyes. "Don't be sad, you two. The client is God. Do whatever he says-" Genpachi-San started pulling us out the door. "Hey, what's going on?" Oh... I get it now. They thought the winner doesn't have to work for him... But in reality...

"What do you mean? The winner has the privilege of working for me."

I could see Gin-San's face lose color. "Oh... That's not right..."

He looked back at Shinpachi-San and Kagura-Chan, hoping for a way to get out of this. They just stared at us, amusement plastered on their faces. "See ya."

Since I was planning on going anyway, I just waved at them. "Bye nii~"

* * *

After a boring walk, Genpachi-San finally talked. "Here we are." He opened the door to a small building called Shuei Construction.

"Well, hey, this doesn't really sit right with me..." Gin-San sighed.

"Shut up, Gin-San." I scolded. "Don't try to get yourself out of this."

"Yeah, just get the materials and start working." Genpachi-San agreed.

Gin-San sighed, and we walked in. I wasn't really planning on working, just lazing around. If they tried to force me to work, I'll just fake diarrhea and run to the restroom. But, then how would I see the fight between Gin-San and Hijikata? Hm...

After getting the materials, Gin-San and I sat down while Genpachi-San digged through his tool box. "Come on, get to work, you two. There's a pile of stuff to do here."

I decided to set up my plan. "Man... My stomach has been bothering me lately, not much though. It's getting kind of annoying, though." Hehe... Perfect~!

"You better not start farting, or I'll fire you."

"...Eh?"

"If you get us fired, I'll cut you up and feed you to Kagura-Chan."

"W-W-Wha?!" ...Maybe I shouldn't pull that trick anymore... Too risky. Sadly, after thinking about Kagura-Chan eating me, my stomach did start acting up...Oh God.

I noticed two Shinsengumi members about to walk past us, so I quickly put on a hard hat. I also put a hard hat on Gin-San too, since I knew they were mainly looking for him. I wonder... Could they be looking for me too?

After that, we headed up on the roof to hammer in nails or whatever. I wasn't really paying attention, just looking on the street for Hijikata and Sougou.

I suddenly caught sight of two Shinsengumi members, and I correctly identified them as Hijikata and Sougou.

"Hey, watch out, man." I heard Gin-San drone. I looked and saw wood falling from the roof, about to crush Hijikata.

Hijikata screamed (Just like a girl.) and jumped back just in time to avoid being killed. He fell on the ground from the shock, and yelled, "You could have killed me!"

Gin-San started to climb down the ladder. "Well, I told you to look out..." I decided to climb down, too.

"You practically mumbled it!"

"Keep it down..." Gin-San pulled up his hard hat to reveal his face. "I don't need anymore tension on this job, especially from the likes of you." He sounds kind of... Mature.

"I think you would have screamed louder if someone almost killed you, Gin-San." I deadpanned.

"Shut it, brat." He took off his hard hat to reveal his silver hair.

"Gah!" Hijikata gasped. I also saw Sougou open his mouth in shock.

Bad idea, Gin-San~.

"You're the one from Ikedaya." Hijikata exclaimed.

"...Hm?" Gin-San looked confused.

"Ikedaya was that hotel place, right?" I asked.

Hijikata nodded. "And you're that kid who was yelling about everything." He then looked back at Gin-San. "I see. You've got silver hair, don't you?" Then he looked back at me. "And you have blue hair..."

So? You're looking for Gin-San, not me. I didn't do anything.

"And who are you?" Gin-San asked. He suddenly put his hand on Hijikata's shoulder. "Oh, could it be... Oogushi-Kun? Oh my, you've really grown up." His face looked very indifferent. "Oh, and do you still have that goldfish of yours?"

Before Hijikata could react, Genpachi-San yelled from the roof, "Hey, Gin-San, Len-Kun, get up here and help out!"

"All right, all right." Gin-San started to walk to the ladder. "Well, see you, Oogushi-Kun. We've got to get back to work." He started climbing up the ladder. "Say bye to Oogushi-Kun, Len-Kun. We need to start working."

"OK!" I waved to Hijikata. "Bye nii~, Oogushi-San." I started climbing up the ladder. "Tell Oogu-Kun I said hi!"

After I climbed up, I saw Gin-San picking up his hammer. I decided to ask him about Hijikata. "So... You don't remember that man at all? It was pretty obvious, ya know."

Gin-San sighed, "I can't remember everybody I meet. That would be too much."

"No, it's just that your brain is too small... Or maybe it's drowning in strawberry milk."

"Eh?!"

"Nothing."

Gin-San jumped up. "Hell no, brat! I heard that, loud and clearly!" He huffed, then turned around and got back to work. "Go... Do something. Or I'm not buying you anything with the money."

"If we even get any money..."

"What was that?!"

"Nothing~."

"First preventing a bombing, now fixing a roof, eh?" Someone said behind us. Uh-oh... Hijikata's here. "You've no integrity at all. What's your angle here?"

I don't quite understand that, but it doesn't seem like it was a compliment.

"Bombings?" Gin-San asked. He stood up. "You're that guy..."

Hijikata walked up a bit. "At last you remember. There's no one in the Shinsengumi who'd do something that crazy." I think he's referring to when Gin-San got knocked out the window and threw the bomb in the air. Chapter 2, people. "I don't think anyone could defeat Kondo-San, but I guess if anyone could it's you." He then looked at me. "And the boy who almost cried had the gal to attack Kondo-San... I'll make sure you both pay for that."

What?! He's going to try to kill me because I attacked Kondo-San?! What?! Why would he?! Why?

"Kondo-San?" Gin-San asked, obviously forgetting these main characters in the show.

"You were fighting him over a women, weren't you?" Hijikata responded, throwing Gin-San a sword. "Was she that fine a women? Give me her number."

"Len-Kun didn't fight Kondo-San, it was just me." Gin-San droned, picking in his ear.

"N-no... Before you came he was badmouthing you, so... I attacked him." I sighed. "But! I didn't even come close to hitting him, he dodged all my attacks! He's a very nice swordsman!"

"Flattery won't get you anywhere..."

"So... You're friends with that gorilla?" Gin-San asked. Do you not understand he's about to try and kill us?! "But hey, what's up with this thing?" He showed Hijikata the sword.

It... Happened so fast... I couldn't even see it, but before I knew it, Hijikata was clashing swords with Gin-San. The shock immediately made me fall on my butt, and I scooted back a little to make sure he wouldn't get me next.

Hijikata pushed a little harder, and Gin-San was sent flying to the other side of the roof. "Gah!"

I ran to the other side with Gin-San, because I could **not **be too close to Hijikata. Not when he's trying to kill me. "Are you alright, Gin-San?!"

Gin-San got on his feet and yelled, "What are you doing?!"

"He may be a gorilla, but to us, he's our precious commander!" Hijikata exclaimed. "He's my oldest comrade, and we built the Shinsengumi together!" Gin-San glared. "I won't let you beat the Shinsengumi. If one of us falls, then we have no choice but to..." He charged at Gin-San. "_Cut him to shreds_!"

He slashed his sword, and smoke covered them for some reason. I... Didn't know what to do, so I just stared...

I knew that Gin-San beat Hijikata, but... Anything could happen with me being here. And not to mention that this technically isn't an Anime anymore.

I'm... Just scared that they, or I, might... Die.

The smoke was finally clearing, and all I saw was Hijikata. Where's Gin-San?!

"Cut it out!" Gin-San yelled, coming from behind him and kicking him in the back. "What are you aiming at?! Don't swing that thing willy-nilly!"

There was no time for me to sweatdrop. Too scared. "He's trying to kill us, you dummy! You have to fight back and protect me!"

Gin-San didn't answer, but I know why... Hijikata did a front flip when being kicked and slashed Gin-San on his shoulder.

Gin-San flew back and lied on the roof in pain.

"Gin-San!" I exclaimed. Crap! This is bad! We really need help here!

"Hey, Gin-San, if you and Len-Kun just play around, I won't give you a dime!" Genpachi-San yelled from the other side. Does that idiot think we're over here playing?!

"Shuddup, baldy, and call the police! The police!" Gin-San yelled, holding his bleeding shoulder. Oh great, he's not dead.

"But... There's one problem..." I muttered. "He... _Is _the police!"

"He's right." Hijikata responded.

"Well then, help me, will ya?" Gin-San chuckled. I-Idiot!

Hijikata chuckled as well. "I suppose I should."

Hijikata glared as Gin-San shakily got up and wiped his bleeding shoulder with a towel.

Hijikata suddenly sucked his teeth. "Draw your sword!" He yelled. Oh yeah... I forgot Gin-San didn't even take the sheath, or whatever it's called, off. "I didn't lend you that thing so you could keep it sheathed! Draw!"

Gin-San drew the sword and smirked. Uh-oh...

Hijikata smirked too. "At last we begin in earnest..." He charged at Gin-San who stood unmoving. "I've got you! Yaaaa!" He swung. I screamed. "Heh, got him!" But then looked shocked when he realized all he cut was the bloodied towel Gin-San had. "What?"

Gin-San suddenly dashed right next to him, glaring. I blinked, but I shouldn't have. Because when my eyes opened, Hijikata's sword was cut in half. I gasped.

Gin-San didn't cut Hijikata in half like he could have... He cut his sword in half, disarming him.

Hijikata slightly looked at him while Gin-San dropped his sword. Gin-San grabbed his cut shoulder and said, "That's all, then." He turned around and started walking. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..." He then yelled, "Hey baldy, I'm going to the hospital!"

"Wait!" Hijikata yelled. "Do you... Pity me?"

"Pity?" Gin-San responded. "If I had enough of that to give to you, I'd put it over my rice for dinner." He paused, and I ran next to him. I'm so glad that we didn't get assassinated. "One fights to protect something, like you fought me to protect the Shinsengumi."

"Protect?" Hijikata asked, obviously confused. I don't have anything to say about this, since I can't fight... Yet. "So what are you protecting?"

Gin-San didn't say anything for a while, but finally answered, "My honor."

...

What?!

I could feel a vein pop from my head while I glared at him. "You... Idiot!"

"W-what?!"

"What the hell is that?! Your honors? What about the Yorozuya?!"

"...Eh?!"

"Oh... So you don't fight to protect us, huh?! You fought that guy because of your honors, right?! What does that even mean?!" I clenched my fist, and my voice lowered. "Prepare yourself..."

"W-w-wait! L-Len-Kun!"

I sucked my teeth and punched him straight in the face. "You complete retard!"

He flew to the other side of the roof, and probably fell off. I don't know, all I heard was a scream.

I huffed, and waved at Hijikata. "Bye, Oogushi-San!"

He just stared at me boredly while I climbed down the stairs and headed to Yorozuya. Stupid... Idiot...

* * *

~Preview~

"What the shit is this?!" Gin-San yelled. "Kagura, if you're gonna pick up something, at least get something we can identify! What... You want to keep him? No way, mommy'll never let you have a pet in the house."

Next Time: When You're Tired, Eat Something Sour

"I hate most sour things..."

* * *

_**Hiya People! I hope you like this episode! Um... I hope you don't mind, Al19, but can I use this? Minna-San! Read Al19's Stories, because she was the one that gave me the idea for this whole story! And this right here...**_

_**So~ I was thinking if doing something like... Saying 5 facts about Len-Kun every chapter.. I got this idea from Al19... READ HER STORIES!**_

* * *

_**1. At first, Len-Kun didn't like Gintama because he thought the beginning was... Boring. Yeah, I know... Kill him. Ahem, anyway... After watching an episode of Sket-Dance (Second Favorite Anime) he went down and read the comments and they said it was like a school version of Gintama. So he tried Gintama for the second time and REALLY liked it.**_

_**2. Len-Kun's birthday is June 4. **_

_**3. Len-Kun's first Anime was Naruto. He remembers when he was younger staying up to see Naruto on Thursday. **_

_**4. Len-Kun has an obsession with Vocaloid, like you already know. But what you don't know is his favorite song is Matryoshka. There's also some Gintama Matryoshka's! I advise you to check it out, on YouTube, NOW! **_

_**5. Len-Kun kind of dislikes Dragon Ball Z... Don't hate him.**_

* * *

_**Well, that's all! Bye nii~!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Into the World of Gintama **

Chapter 7: When You're Tired, Eat Something Sour

_**Why... Why did I stop updating for a while?! I HAVE TO DO THIS!**_

* * *

"Gin-San, Gin-San! It's an emergency!" Shinpachi-San exclaimed as he ran inside the house. I guess it's time for work...

"What's up, four eyes?" Gin-San droned, also insulting Shinpachi-San.

Shinpachi-San ignored him and continued. "That stalker who was following my sister around was actually Shinsengumi Commander Kondo Isao!"

"Yeah, I heard."

"You did? From whom?"

"Oogushi-Kun."

"Oogushi-Kun?"

"Yep. Oogushi-Kun."

I facepalmed and sighed. "He almost killed you, and you still don't know his name?"

* * *

**La la la**

**La la la**

**La la la**

**Ah ah ah~**

**Let's go out free up your mind**

**Sweet dream on the other side**

**I've finally opened my eyes**

**To see the world so wide**

**'cause when your thoughts fade to black**

**The shields you build start to crack**

**So change your plan of attack**

**I'm never going**

**Go back to **

**The days when I lost you**

**(Hey baby why?)**

**You left me**

**You said 'cause I had to**

**(I want to cry)**

**I broke my vows and ran but now**

**I've finally grown a backbone**

**So fxck your shxt**

**Throw down that's it**

**'Cause babe, you are not alone**

**Say it ain't so and tell me no**

**But baby, I'm here to stay**

**So throw your woes and I'll kiss your tears away**

**Livin' on the run don't scare me none**

**So baby, for you**

**I'll pray hard every day**

**The two of us will be okay**

**So come on out and let's play.**

**La la la**

**Ah ah ah..**

* * *

Kagura-Chan was outside, walking around town. I thought about joining her, but I thought against it. I was kind of sleepy, so I'm just going to take a nap.

* * *

"Hello, Taker." I greeted, waking up in the red couch. He smiled, and his emotionless maid appeared next to him. I still don't understand her; she only talks when being talked too, or being given an order.

I've been coming to him lately, so we've been getting along well. It's just that... I've had so many questions... Well... Mostly worries.

"Jalen-Kun. I'm glad you could join me today." He smiled sheepishly. "I... Was actually about to call you here myself."

I frowned. "You wouldn't dare..." He laughed. "It hurts so much! Just let me come here myself!"

"But, what if I get bored?!" He wailed.

I swear... "You have a maid."

She cleared her throat and replied, "Wanna die?"

"No ma'am."

The Taker twirled in his chair and grinned. "So? What do you want to know this time?"

Oh, right. I kind of had this question for a while. "OK! Um, is... Has anyone else been sucked into this world?"

"No." The maid answered. "You are the only one who was sent here."

"Oh... Well, will I be able to go to other Anime?"

"If you wish."

"When will I be able to go back home."

"Not determined."

"Will I be able to..." Crap. I need to keep this going! "Will I die here?"

"You can die anywhere."

"WHAT IS 876543298765432 TIMES 345!"

"3.02407438E+17"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

I sighed in defeat. Is she a robot? I decided to ask her one last thing before I go. "What is your name?"

"Matsurika."

Matsurika... That rings a bell. I remember watching an Anime with a maid called Matsurika. Wasn't it from that Anime called... Ma Alcholic? No... There's no such thing...

"You witch! I swear you just took that name from the Anime 'Skip Beat'!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I meant 'Maria + Holic'!"

"That's right, so what?"

This bitch is pissing me off today.

OK... Forget what I said about her not talking much... She must be on her period.

Suddenly, and I mean _very _suddenly, she attacked me. She hit me in the stomach, which was all it took for me to fall on my butt.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" I yelled as I rolled on the floor, holding my stomach. "What'd you do that for?!"

"In this realm, we can easily hear your thoughts if we wanted. Taker-sama hasn't done it to you, yet, but I've always been doing it." She paused like a regular human for once, even though I **know **she's not. "You called me a bitch, then you called me a bitch again, then you just said I wasn't a normal human. That's two more hits." She stood over me, to my horror, and kicked me right in the face.

* * *

"Ahh!" I screamed as I woke up from my _nightmare. _"I-I'm sorry, Matsurika!"

Eight eyes stared at me in confusion. Gin-san's, Shinpachi-san's, Kagura-chan's, and Sadaharu's. Yep, same old, same old...

Huh? Was Sadaharu introduced yet? I... Don't have any memory of him... Although my memory has been leaving me lately. Although, there's no way I could forget a giant... White... Scary... D-dog...

"AHHH!" I jumped up from the couch and fell on the floor, pointing to the huge, scary dog. "DOG! BIG AND WHITE! SCARY AND HUNGRY! DOG!"

"What the hell?! I know you must be as surprised as we are, but did you just make a poem?!" Shinpachi-san sweatdropped.

Dog

Big and White

Scary and Hungry

Dog

I was the one to sweatdrop as Shinpachi-san explained the whole story, which I kind of remembered from the episode. I know Sadaharu isn't exactly... Aggressive... But he looks freakishly scary in real life. Just looking at him creeps me out...

Kagura-chan was hugging it, while Gin-san was grinding his teeth. Uh-oh...

Shinpachi-san looked down at the note that supposedly came with the dog. "I think it's a joke."

Gin-san lost it. He got up, grabbed the letter and started ripping it to shreds. "What's funny about it?!" He glared at Kagura-chan. "We're the Yorozuya, but this is where I cross the line! Get rid of it!"

I was panicked now. I seriously don't remember this scene at all, but I do know one thing! If Sadaharu gets kicked out, it'll definitely effect the Anime, I know that!

"Uh, w-wait, Gin-san!" I pleaded. "Maybe we can keep it, cause the owner might come ba-"

"Bullshit!"

"But if we toss him out in this ruthless town, he'll die!" Kagura-chan defended the dog, glaring right back at Gin-san.

Gin-san crossed his arms. "He'll be fine. A Sadaharu can make it alone just fine."

"Why are you calling it Sadaharu now?!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed. Is that not his name?

Gin-san walked over to the dog. "You understand, right?" He put his hand out to pet the dog. "Sadaha-"

Sadaharu grabbed Gin-san's shoulder to stand and chomped down on Gin-san's head.

A moment of utter silence...

"HOLY SHIT!" I ran over to Gin-san's desk and bent down, trying to get as far away from the monster as possible.

Gin-san removed himself from the dog and slowly walked to his room, his bangs covering his eyes.

* * *

"At any rate, I guess I'll let Shigeo stay here until we find him a new home." Gin-san sighed, now sitting on the couch. I guess he blocked the dog almost eating his head out of his mind. I was still at Gin-san's desk, though. I was **not **getting anywhere near that dog...

"It's Sadaharu, isn't it?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"And, when we find someone to take him, we'll asked to be reimbursed for our trouble." Gin-san continued.

"It's Sadaharu!" Shinpachi-san said again, although more forcibly.

"Sadaharu's so cute!" Kagura-chan started. "Why can't we keep him?!"

"When a women says something's cute, a man just can't trust it." Gin-san replied. "Besides, Len-kun's scared of it."

"At least I didn't get my head bit..." I grumbled, looking the other way.

"Do you think the same, Shinpachi?" Kagura-chan asked him. "I'd thought you have an eye for cuteness with those big, geeky glasses. But do you hate cute things too?!"

"What do you mean, 'Geeky'?"

She grabbed Sadaharu, to my horror, and held him above her head. I squealed in terror, and Gin-san and Shinpachi-san shrieked. "If you'll only trust him as far as I can throw him, I'll have to throw him real far!"

"I think you're misusing that phrase!" I yelled.

She threw him, and it landed straight on them. The dog just smiled as it stared straight at my face. I stared straight at his.

...

"Move him, Kagura-chan..." Shinpachi-san mumbled.

"I feel like I'm gonna burst..." Gin-san mumbled.

"So now you know how I feel..." Kagura-chan replied, a grin on her face. I slowly walked around the dog and stood beside her.

"No... Not that kind of feeling."

She closed her eyes and stood like she was a teacher. "It certainly is hard to love another, but Sadaharu and I will be fine!"

Wait... Is this the episode where they race that gang? Is it even a gang they race, I forgot..

Sadaharu turned his head to smile at us. How scary... And random.

"It hurts!" Gin-san groaned. "Feels like the chocolate I ate is gonna make it's debut on the puking circuit!"

I... I don't know what to say now... Because.. It was so nasty. Gin-san threw up...all in Shinpachi-san's face, then he threw up in Gin-san's face... And Kagura-chan just started yelling nonsense while I ran around waving my arms around.

Shinpachi-san got up and grabbed his head in terror while Gin-san got up and grabbed a broom. "Hey you, don't be so crazy in here!"

Kagura-chan and Sadaharu were running all around the house, causing a ruckus! I was screaming, scared the dog might try to attack me. It was crazy in here, with dust flying everywhere.

"Kagura-chan, you have to discipline him!" Shinpachi-san yelled.

She was laying on the dog now, smiling. Sadaharu was panting happily. "However he might turn out, I'm gonna spoil him for now!"

"Your spoiling will kill us all!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

I was on the ground, panting heavily. "That dog is going to give me a heart attack..."

I suddenly heard Gin-san scream. We all turned around. "What's the matter, Gin-san?"

He was pointing at a Jump Comic that was dripping... Pee? Ew...

"That damn Sadaharu slobbered all over my Jump Comic!"

Uh oh... He's pissed now.

"He's so cute, slobber and all!" Kagura-chan exclaimed like a school girl in love. She was playing with Sadaharu, but it looked like it was trying to get a good hold on her to eat her...

I'm most definitely not going anywhere near that dog!

Suddenly, Shinpachi-san screamed. He had tears running down his face as he was looking at an unidentified thing on the ground, steam coming from it. "He peed all over Otsu-chan's debut CD!"

"Sadaharu's cuter than that Otsuu, anyway!" Kagura-chan said as she lied on it's back. The monster barked.

I chuckled. "Well, I don't have anything that could get ruined. There's nothing at all for me t-" I glanced at Sadaharu while he was... P-p-peeing... In... M-my... "Tea-kun..."

"That stuff is bad for your kidneys anyway! Hehehe!" Kagura-chan was jumping on it's stomach like a bed...

Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I surrounded Sadaharu and Kagura-chan. "Sadaharu..." We all put up a fist to punch the dog. Gin-san just looked mad. Shinpachi-san was still crying. And my eyes were red. "Why don't you just-" The monster opened it's jaws and closed them on our heads. "Sorry..."

* * *

Minutes later Gin-san went out with the dog to sell it to Otose-san. It didn't work, because he just came back looking pissed, again. Surprisingly, Kagura-chan was taking a nap. Something I rarely do, unless I want to speak with the Taker.

"OK, we can do this." Gin-san started. "We'll go see if we can find a new owner while Kagura's napping."

"A conspiracy? Are you sure this is alright? Kagura-chan'll get mad at us." Shinpachi-san asked. I forgot to mention that they has bandages around their head, including me. I fucking hate that damn dog...

I was actually writing down my hate on paper, glaring at the dog a few times to refill my hate level.

_Dear Sadaharu-kun, _

_I really really really really really really really really hate you. I hate nothing more than you. Even when Gin-san hits me, or when Shinpachi-san yells at me, they couldn't make me hate you less. If I was a tick, I __**wouldn't **__suck your blood. I wouldn't want suck your nasty blood in my system. I would run you over with no second thoughts if I had a car. I would cook you and feed you to Kagura-chan if you weren't so big and could probably beat my ass. Go. To. Hell. You. Stupid. Alien. Mutt. _

_Sincerely, Len-kun _

Yep, now time to look back at Sadaharu and refill my anger levels!

Shinpachi-san sweatdropped when he saw me, but continued talking. "Anyway... I think it's a bad idea."

"It's OK." Gin-san assured. "By learning a painful truth, a young girl takes her first steps towards womanhood, and a geeky fanboy will become a man."

"ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?! DID YOU CALL ME A GEEKY FANBOY?! I'LL NEVER CHANGE!" Shinpachi-san yelled, and anger mark on his cheek.

Gin-san ignored him, as usual, and started walking. "OK, let's go." He had Sadaharu's leash in his hands, but since the monster was so big Gin-san fell. He jumped up quickly and tried pulling the leash. "Come on, move, ya stupid, fat lump!"

Sadaharu growled, hate aura increasing. T-too... Strong..! My paper blew out my hands, and I stared at Sadaharu in horror, just like Gin-san and Shinpachi-san.

"H-hate levels..." I Trier to speak, but the aura seemed to be choking me. "Over 9000!" Although I dislike Dragon Ball Z... I just had to use that.

"AHHHHHH!"

* * *

Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were running down the street now. A demon behind us. We were all screaming, some more then others.

I saw Hijikata and Sogou ahead of us, looking surprised. (Mostly Hijikata, Sogou looked like he knew he knew we were coming.)

We ran past them, knocking Hijikata over in the process. I don't even know if this is an episode, since I don't remember it.

* * *

After an hour of running, Sadaharu finally settled down. That stupid smile it had on really pissed me off...

"He's finally calmed down..." Gin-san said, closing his eyes.

"What are we gonna do?" Shinpachi-san asked. He was holding the leash now. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to take Sadaharu in..."

Shinpachi-san looked worried, but Gin-san smirked. "Don't worry. I have an idea."

Suddenly, Sadaharu... Uh... Pooped. I covered my nose while Shinpachi-san yelled, "He did it again!" We all just sighed in response.

* * *

"Hey, _this_ is your idea?! My house?! Are you trying to stick me with Sadaharu?!" Shinpachi-san yelled at Gin-san. I sweatdropped.

"Well, your sisters got a stalker on her tail, right?" Gin-san responded.

"I thought we took care of that two chapters ago..." I deadpanned.

"Exactly!" Shinpachi-san agreed.

"So I scratch your back, you scratch mine." Gin-san ignored us. "This'll work, as far as payment."

"Listen to me, dumbass!"

Suddenly, Sadaharu bit Gin-san's arm. "Don't bite me!"

"Oh? What are you guys doing here?" Otae-chan asked as she walked over to us. She did surprise me, since I did not see her come.

"Oh, hi Otae-chan!" I greeted. "Gin-san just wanted to ask if you could keep this monster-" Gin-san smacked me on the head. "I mean, dog, here with you."

She tilted her head to the side. "Huh?"

Gin-san sighed as he sat down on their front step. "Let me explain."

After he explained, Otae-chan closed her eyes. "We already have one useless, pubescent boy living here, so taking on another would be..."

"What do you mean 'useless'?!" He pointed to Sadaharu. "And this is a dog!"

Sadaharu casually walked over and bit his finger. "Aaahhh!"

Gin-san turned to Otae-chan. "Please. I'm begging you. Sadaharu wants to live here, too."

"And what does that mean?!" We all turned to see the owner of that childish girl voice, and I gasped. Gin-san did too, probably because he knew he was gonna get his ass wooped. Shinpachi-san didn't gasp because... Well... He was getting eaten by Sadaharu.

"Kagura-chan!" I exclaimed. "I'm not with them! They forced me here!"

"While I slept..." Kagura-chan glared.

Gin-san slid next to her, trying to save himself. "No... Well, I was just thinking of Sadaharu's best interests..."

"You're terrible, GIN-CHAN!" She twirled and kicked him in the stomach. Omg... That was... Amazing...

And scary... Very... Very... Scary.

"Aaaahhhh!" Gin-san yelled as he flew in the air, then straight in Sadaharu's mouth. OK, now I'm terrified.

Kagura-chan was smiling now, while Shinpachi-san looked very surprised.

"Oh, he's pretty useful." Otae-chan said as she also smiled.

* * *

[Gintama]

* * *

Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were now sitting on a bench, watching Kagura-chan play with Sadaharu.

"Well, it seems we just can't keep those two apart, guys." Gin-san mumbled, more bandaged up than before.

"Well, I think we should just keep him, or Kagura-chan is gonna stomp us..." I sighed, wishing this day could just end.

"Yeah, a big dog really suits a little girl, right?" Shinpachi-san muttered, looking at the ground.

Sadaharu suddenly ran by us, dirt getting all in our faces.

"But... Why doesn't he get attached to us?" Gin-san asked, his very soul depressed.

"Well, it's not in a wild animal's nature, Gin-san." Shinpachi-san answered, also very depressed.

"Why does he like her, though, Shinpachi-kun?"

"He doesn't, Gin-san."

Sadaharu suddenly lunged for Kagura-chan, his teeth ready to stab into meat, but Kagura-chan just happily held him back... With one hand. I noticed get had her purple umbrella, so I think she really can't stay in the sun for too long.

"He's attacking her, but she just doesn't know it, Gin-san."

"How... Stupid." I deadpanned.

"I see. So that's it, Shinpachi-kun?"

"That's right."

After Kagura-chan was done she ran over to us and flung me off the bench, sitting down. "Upsy-daisy!"

"Hey!" I screamed as I fell on the ground, dust and dirt and whatever you call it all over me.

"You look like you're having fun." Gin-san told her.

She nodded happily. "I am. I love animals." She looked up. "All girls love cute things. That's the only reason necessary."

"I doubt that's true..." I mumbled. How could she just throw me off the bench like I'm some sort of item that's been replaced.

Sadaharu was charging at the bench they were sitting on, like a demon, and Gin-san asked, "Is that cute?"

Sadaharu slammed into the bench, knocking Kagura-chan in the air. Gin-san and Shinpachi-san were lucky enough to dodge the attack.

"He is!" Kagura-chan exclaimed as she flew through the air. "This is the first time an animal has loved me so much!"

I gaped as I saw Kagura-chan in the air like it was normal, and facepalmed. "How... Stupid."

She landed on the ground, then charged at Sadaharu. "I had a pet a long time ago." She kicked Sadaharu straight in the chin. "Sadaharu No. 1! I loved him so much. We kept him outside, but I wanted to sleep with him so badly that I snuck him inside one night. But I got a fever and had a nightmare. When I woke up, Sadaharu was all broken..." She had tears in her eyes now. I... Don't know if I should cry or laugh. "After that, I forbade myself from touching animals. I was so bad at controlling my strength, I would cause nothing but misery." YOU THREW ME OFF OF A BENCH YOU DAMN- "But this Sadaharu can take anything I dish out." She rubbed his nose. "This must be a gift from God. I'm sure of it."

Gin-san and Shinpachi-san looked surprised while I just looked indifferent. But... I guess I had a tiny smile on my face.

"Oh, I forgot to get jerky. I'll buy some." Kagura-chan said.

"Eh!"

She waved bye. "Take care of Sadaharu!" Then ran off at amazing speed.

Um... Is that what you call bipolar?

"No, wait!" Gin-san yelled, but it was too late. She was gone.

Sadaharu stared at us, panting loudly. There was a dark aura surrounding him that scared all of us, especially me.

It lunged at us, chomping it's fangs on Gin-san. I, luckily, got out of the way in time to avoid Sadaharu's fangs of death.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Gin-san screamed, his body in Sadaharu's mouth.

"Gin-san! Gin-san!" Shinpachi-san yelled as he chased after the dog, Gin-san in it's mouth.

Sadaharu suddenly spit out Gin-san attacked Shinpachi-san, throwing him up in the air multiple times. "Ahhh! Gin-san! Save me!"

"I'm saved..." Really, Gin-san? Really?

* * *

After about an hour of entertaining Sadaharu, and myself on some occasions, Gin-san and Shinpachi-san were on the ground, panting and sweating. Sadaharu was asleep, while I was sitting on the ground, laughing at what Sadaharu did to them. It's actually pretty nice Sadaharu didn't even so much as touch me this whole time.

"Len-kun... Please... Don't laugh... At us..." Shinpachi-san begged. I just chuckled and stood up.

"I think he's a Bio weapon in the shape of a dog..." Gin-san said.

"That would explain his size." I mentioned.

"It's hard to keep going with a monster like that chasing you..." Gin-san added, completely lying on the grass.

"But when you see Kagura-chan cuddling up to it like that..." Shinpachi-san copied Gin-san and lyed on the grass.

"Oh, here you are." Hijikata said, coming out of nowhere! I swear, Anime characters need to not do that! Sogou was also with him, looking down at Gin-san and Shinpachi-san.

"Oh... You guys..." Gin-san looked up to see the two police officers. "What do you want? Shouldn't you be working? Trying to find someone to play with?" That's rude, Gin-san. Show at least a sliver of respect!

"I'd never ask you to play with me, ever!" Hijikata glared.

"I thought we already settled our differences when we fought the other day." Gin-san sat up.

Hijikata unsheathed his sword in anger. "Fine. We'll just fight for fun this time!"

Shinpachi-san crawled out the way in panic. "Wah!" But his head somehow ended straight in Sadaharu's mouth, who was now awake. "Gah!"

"But hey, is that your dog?" Sogou asked.

"No, it's not really my dog." Gin-san answered lazily.

"Can't you be this calm when Hijikata asks you a question?" They ignored me.

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Hijikata yelled.

"Um, everything?"

Ignored again. Wow...

"I heard from one of my government contacts that someone wants a dog like that." Sogou answered. "I'd like you to give him to the Shinsengumi." Uh-oh...

"No way." Gin-san answered, bluntly. "I'm not giving him to you. Don't forget that I don't bend to the will of the Shinsengumi."

"Fine, then I'll bend you to my will, you troglodyte!" Hijikata screamed, slashing his sword around.

"Do you just want attention?" I asked him.

He gave me an irritated look. "What?"

"It's obvious Gin-san is ignoring you. Just... Shutup."

"Eh?!" An anger mark was now on his forehead. "Wanna die, too?"

I smiled nervously. "Hehe, just kidding."

He growled as he left with Sogou. Bye nii~!

Shinpachi-san finally got out of Sadaharu's mouth. "Gin-san? Did you do that for Kagura-chan?"

"Nope." He dug in his ears. "I just didn't want to do what said."

"I knew it."

Gin-san stepped back, and Sadaharu growled. He looked down, and gasped as he saw he was stepping on Sadaharu's tail.

"Aaaahhhhh!" We yelled as we all started to run. Why?! Why are you chasing me, Sadaharu?! I didn't do anything! I'm not as fast as Gin-san and Shinpachi-san, but somehow I'm running right by them! What's going on?! Don't eat me!

We jumped over a rail and out onto the street. I turned and saw a... Car... Speeding... Right... At... Us.

"AAAHHHHH!" I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable. Either for Sadaharu to eat me, or to get hit by the car. I'm dead...

There was a crash, and I opened my eyes. I was... Shielded by Gin-san. The car hit Shinpachi-san, Gin-san, and Sadaharu (Thank God!). I'm pretty sure Gin-san in unconscious, so I stood up to check everyone's heart beat.

"This is bad..." I muttered as I looked to see who ran us over. It was Prince Hata and his green servant. I... Don't know his name.

"Oh, look. There's a survivor." The green guy said.

Prince Hata got out the car and gasped. "Look at that animal!"

"What is a Dog-God doing at a place like this?" Dog-God? What? Sadaharu?

"We can't just leave him to defend for himself! We have to take him." Prince Hata ordered his servant to tie Sadaharu to the car, and then looked at me. "And we can't have any witnesses, so let's take this guy along."

"What?!" Are they really going to run us over, steal the dog, and then kidnap me?! What the heck?!

I was about to run, but the green guy grabbed me from behind and led me to the car.

"Let go of me! Let go of me right now! I'll yell rape!" I screamed, but he ignored me and threw me in the car, locking the door.

They both got in, and I shivered. What would I do now? Will they take me to outer space? Will I be a sex slave? No... No... "No..."

The green guy drove away from the crime scene, and Prince Hata started talking. "Ah, I remember the last time I came here, I was beat up by that silver haired man and that weird girl." If I get outta this I'm gonna definitely kick your ass. "You were with them, weren't you?"

I didn't answer. I was too mad, and kind of scared...

"Well, this will almost make up for losing Pace. Right, Gramps?"

I'm gonna kill both of you...

"That's righ-"

Suddenly, and I mean very suddenly, Gin-san popped up in front of the car... Well, he was on the roof, and he was looking at us upside down, smiling.

"Aaaaahhh! It's a zombie!" The green guy yelled, swerving the car all over the place. I smiled, happy that I was gonna be saved.

"Come on, stop the car, old man!" Gin-san said, smirking.

"Y-you're that-"

"An hour ago, I would've said to take him. But I just can't let him go! I've... Taken a liking to him." He explained. "And you also have one of my employees. I would like him back. He still needs to pay me back for letting him stay at my place."

"Gin-san..."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" The green guy yelled. "Get off! I can't see!"

Suddenly, Gin-san looked behind us, and so did the green man. I did too, and what I saw was pretty scary...

Kagura-chan was running behind us at rocket speed. She had her umbrella in her hand. She also looked pretty pissed...

"Ugh... What happened?" Prince Hata asked, waking up from being knocked out somehow. I guess...

"That weird girl is chasing us at a tremendous speed!"

"GIVE ME BACK MY SADAHARU!" She shouted, picking up speed.

"Who's Sadaharu?" Prince Hata asked.

The green guy took out a gun and yelled, "G-get back!"

I suddenly had a bad feeling, and yelled. "Shoot her! Shoot her now!"

"Give him back!" She yelled one last time, and swung her umbrella, hitting the car.

I screamed as the car turned on it's side and flew into the ocean. But, before I could drown with them, someone wrapped their arms around me and jumped out the car.

"Sadaharuuuuuuu!" Kagura-chan yelled. I... Think she forgot he was on the car... And I was too...

We jumped out the car and onto a tree, with Sadaharu too... Wait... How is this possible?! Gin-san?!

Kagura-chan looked at the car, fully submerged in the water. She started to cry. "It... Happened again..."

"Girlie..." Gin-san called out to her. Kagura-chan slowly looked up at us. Sadaharu, Gin-san, and I. "Why so sad?"

Kagura-chan looked surprised, then smiled. "Gin-chan! Len-kun! Sadaharu!"

Gin-san chuckled, but Sadaharu bit his hand, making him cringe. Sadaharu jumped down from the tree branch and ran towards Kagura-chan. This time, not in hate, but in love. Kagura-chan also ran towards Sadaharu. "Sadaharu, Sadaharu!" She hugged him and smiled bigger. "I'm so glad, so glad!"

Gin-san jumped down, with me on his back.

Kagura-chan looked at us. "Gin-chan, you hurt your face..."

"I don't care..." He started to walk away, and I got off his back. "You're the one who will take care of him, and I'll subtract the cost of his food from your pay. Make sure to work extra hard..." So mean... Gin-san.

"Thanks... Gin-chan." Kagura-chan thanked, while still hugging Sadaharu. "I've never been paid, though..."

"H-hey..." I sweatdropped. "I-is... Shinpachi-san dead?"

* * *

~Important Announcement~

Thanks everyone, for supporting me all this time, but-

OUR FIGHT WILL CONTINUE UNTO ETERNITY!

So keep supporting us from now on, as well! Next time: It's a Gintama Special!

For one entire hour! Grandpa and Grandma don't get along so well, anymore!

Wait... That's a lot to write...

* * *

_Hello, everybody! I hope you all like this chapter! This is my longest one so far... Why? Anyway! The opening for this chapter was not made by me! Go here: _

_ watch?feature=plpp&v=ridyiBt2zME_

_You won't regret it! _

_Okay, time for some more facts... Better yet... No. I'm... Tired. THIS IS A 21 PAGE CHAPTER! I'm pooped... Maybe some other time..._


	8. Chapter 8

**Into the World of Gintama **

_**Hi everyone! I got a request to describe how Len-kun looks, so I'll do it now! Uh-huh! **_

_**Well, he has straight, grayish-blue hair. He wears a red jacket and a black T-shirt. He has teal colored jeans. He is 5 ft. 1. He weighs a little less than Kagura. His eyes are gold. And his skin is sun-kissed. (Imagine Naruto's skin color.) Uh... If you need any more information on him, just ask in the reviews, k? **_

"Gin-san! Gin-san! Did you see the game the other day?" Shinpachi-san asked.

"Uh, yeah, I saw it." Gin-san responded.

"It sure was great, wasn't it?" Shinpachi-san mused. "Hey, Len-kun."

"Hello."

"Yeah, I'd never thought we'd win." To be honest... I don't know what they're talking about. I don't remember any game, or anything like that.

"Win?" Wait, Shinpachi-san... You're talking about a game we didn't even win?

"Yeah. The World Baseball Classic." Gin-san explained.

"No, I'm talking about the World Cup!" Shinpachi-san yelled.

"Oh, that." Gin-san sucked his teeth.

"What do you mean by, 'Oh, that'?!" Shinpachi-san questioned. "It's all anyone's talking about!"

"Never mind that. Why are we airing an Anime Special when the whole world is gaga over soccer?" Gin-san asked. Why are we? Are we being recorded... With all the Anime references? "And an hour long special, at that!" I'm probably going to bite my hands off after this...

"Don't complain, let's just get started!" Are you talking to me or Gin-san, Shinpachi-san? Wait, of course he's talking to Gin-san... He can't read my mind, can he?

"All right." Gin-san groaned. This is going to take a long time...

**La la la**

**La la la**

**La la la**

**Ah ah ah~**

**Let's go out free up your mind**

**Sweet dream on the other side**

**I've finally opened my eyes**

**To see the world so wide**

**'cause when your thoughts fade to black**

**The shields you build start to crack**

**So change your plan of attack**

**I'm never going**

**Go back to**

**The days when I lost you**

**(Hey baby why?)**

**You left me**

**You said 'cause I had to**

**(I want to cry)**

**I broke my vows and ran but now**

**I've finally grown a backbone**

**So fxck your shxt**

**Throw down that's it**

**'Cause babe, you are not alone**

**Say it ain't so and tell me no**

**But baby, I'm here to stay**

**So throw your woes and I'll kiss your tears away**

**Livin' on the run don't scare me none**

**So baby, for you**

**I'll pray hard every day**

**The two of us will be okay**

**So come on out and let's play.**

**La la la**

Chapter 8: A dumpling you've chewed and spit out isn't a dumpling anymore, you moron!

"Eh? Who cares if we try to mix things up some? You know what they say, all things change... Being the only competitor means being the victor! Don't get pissed off at me! If you think you can blame me and avoid your own responsibility, you're way off! The night is crawling with demons! Listen up! What we need is this! Yes, calcium!" Gin-san... Why are you still talking? What are you even talking about? And don't just hold up strawberry milk like it goes with whatever you're talking about! Don't make me punch you! "If we have enough calcium, we can do anything! Trouble with tests? Fighting with your parents? Some girl you like? Odiferous nethers?" What is that?! "If you have enough calcium, all of these can be solved!"

"No, they won't!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed. Thank you! I was really about to just rage! "No matter how much calcium you get, you'll still have broken bones after being hit by a car!" Well, if that's true... Why is Gin-san and I normal while you're in a hospital bed? With a cast on your foot.

If you're confused, read the last chapter. Remember how Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I got hit by that car being chased by Sadaharu?

Gin-san drunk some of his strawberry milk. "I got hit, too, but I'm still kicking. It's all thanks to my daily intake of this miracle elixir."

"And I'm just lucky! Thanks to my Tea-kun!" I drunk some of my delicious sweet tea.

"You only drink strawberry milk, don't act like some big strong guy!" Shinpachi-san yelled at Gin-san. "And you'll die someday because of your kidneys!"

"What a horrible thing to say to a 12 year old..."

"What's that?! I drink milk coffee, too!" Gin-san yelled back.

"It's got about 100 calories per saving, low salt content, and the omega fatty acids you could want. Milk's great." Kagura-chan explained as she ate some rice. I swear... Who eats rice in a hospital room? You're so fat, Kagura-chan... Thank God for your metabolism, I guess...

"That's my food!" Shinpachi-san complained.

"Drink the strawberry milk. Strawberry milk." Gin-san held the milk to his face, also very close to Shinpachi-san's face as well.

"Oh, gross! Sickly sweet!" Shinpachi-san covered his nose.

"What was that?!" Gin-san tried to move Shinpachi-san's hand from his nose. "Gintoki has breath like a field of flowers." He breathed in Shinpachi-san's face. It's sad... I can see the pink breath...

"Augh! Shinpachi takes 99 points of damage!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

"That's enough!"

We all looked over to see a wrinkly old nurse. She moved the curtains so she was in the same room as us. Well, she was always in the same room... Same portion?

"You're upsetting the other patients!" She yelled. "We've got a guy over here who's straddling between life and death, idiots!"

"Maybe Shinpachi-san is loud because he's dying? Ever thought of that, nurse?" I asked, but before she could yell again Gin-san hit me on the head. I... I hate when he does that...

"I'm not the one talking so loud, it's mostly you three!" Shinpachi-san glared at us.

"Shinpachi-san... Do you know how much you yell?" I asked.

"I yell because of you morons!"

Suddenly, a bottle of juice was thrown at my head, along with Shinpachi-san. Ouch... That hurt! That hurt, a lot! What kind of hospital is this?! They hurt the patients and the guests here!

...

"Dr. Jaizen will now perform his uplifting march." Someone on the intercom announced. An uplifting march? How is a march uplifting?

Gin-san, Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I were sitting in the guest room, and a man with a whole bunch of people behind him walked though the hallway.

"Come on, you're an adult. Act the part." Shinpachi-san told Gin-san. "It's getting more and more uncomfortable to stay here."

"Well, man is always on a journey to find his niche in life." Gin-san... DON'T YOU DARE START PREACHING!

"Don't act like your some kind of philosopher!" Shinpachi-san yelled.

"Thanks, Shinpachi-san... I did not want to hear him have a whole speech." I grumbled.

"Hey, yo, ho, my homies!" Kagura-chan started to... Rap out of nowhere... "I'll never stop walkin', 'till da po-lice get me, comin' up now, kick yo ass like Jet Li!"

"How did you change your clothes so fast?! Why are you rapping?! Those lyrics make me wanna barf!" I yelled, taking the straight man role for now. That was just too random to ignore.

"Kick you into manhood, you punk-ass bitch." Stop rapping! "Get in my car, ho, I'll show you how to..." She just stopped suddenly, and walked away. I swear...

"Goodness, they're so many wannabes these days..." Gin-san sighed.

"What was she even singing abo- AUGH!" Kagura-chan threw a skateboard at Shinpachi-san's face, making me laugh out uncontrollably.

"HAHAHA!" Gah! That was so funny! "GAHAHAHA!"

"It's all because of calcium deficiency." Gin-san finished, drinking his milk.

"Strawberry milk, eh?" Huh..? Who's... Hahaha... That..? "I drank that often, in my younger days." Why is an old man talking to us? He's holding that... Thing that old people in the hospital bring with them everywhere. Not a cane... But... I don't know... "I used to be quite the skirt-chaser-" He... He... Haha... Hahaha! He grabbed the nurse's butt that was walking by...

"What the fuck?!" She slapped the man, knocking him on the ground. She stomped away in rage.

"Oh, Atsuki-chan..." The old man smiled as he rubbed his bruised face. "What a good girl she was..." His voice suddenly became super high like a girl as he said, "Ooh, if you always drink strawberry milk, people'll think you're a kid! Drink coffee occasionally!" He smirked as he sighed. "Like that..."

Why is this guy talking to us? And why are we just sitting here listening to him?

"Oh, and Yukari-chan..." Why is he talking about girls? Is he a pedophile? "She used to worry about me, thinking about me everyday." Why do you keep using past tense? Wait... Cause it happened in the past... I feel dumb... "Now, I think I'll have strawberry milk, for old times' sake!"

"Strawberry milk?!" Gin-san gasped.

"Indeed!" The man exclaimed. "I see a man with a carton of strawberry milk, and I think, selling it must be his trade!" The man gave Gin-san a thumbs up!

"Oh, no. I'm a jack of all trades living in the city..." Gin-san chuckled. Now you sound all pathetic...

"Jack of all trades?"

"Oh, well. I must be going, I have work, ya know..." Gin-san stood up, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

"Jack of all trades?!" The old man asked, now more excited.

"Oh, I'm so busy, so busy..." Gin-san, on the count of 3, we run. "I am a jack of all trades after all..." Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I stood up, but the man glared at us... Um...

"Jack of all trades!" The man dropped the... Thing that old people in the hospital use. It fell on the ground, and the acupuncture/needle thing attached to his arm also came off. Um... Isn't that what's keeping him alive?

Um... He looks sick now... Is he going crazy? Why does he keep glaring at us..?

"Oh, crap!" Kagura-chan exclaimed, worried-like. "It looks like we aren't welcomed here! It's like that fall in middle school when Hamaru-kun, who didn't get mad even if called pimple-face or crater-boy, went on a rampage when I spoke to him and threw a chair at me!"

"What?!" I looked at her weird. "I... I'm not even going to comment on that!"

"You said you were a jack of all trades, didn't you?" No... Stop slowly walking closer to us... You're freaking us out! "That means... That means you'll do anything someone asks?"

Gin-san, Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I started fighting over who would talk to the crazy old man. I... I don't remember if this is an episode or not...

Eventually, we overpowered Shinpachi-san, who had to walk with crutches, and pushed him in front of us.

"W-within our power..." Shinpachi-san answered. "We can't heal you, so if that's it, I'd suggest donating money to a local church..."

Kagura-chan was doing a prayer while Gin-san and I were holding Shinpachi-san from running away.

The man got closer to us, freaking Shinpachi-san out. "Well, they do it for free this time, but I heard from great-grandpa-" The old man glared as he... Oh SNAP! HE TOOK OUT A LONG NEEDLE FROM HIS KIMONO THING! RUN, SHINPACHI-SAN! "No, I'm sorry! When I said 'money', I meant in this game I'm playing!" The man grabbed Shinpachi-san's shirt. "No! I don't want my last words to be some lame excuse about a game!"

"Rurururu!" The man clutched his needle and quickly brought it to Shinpachi-san's face, but stopped right at Shinpachi-san's nose. Shinpachi-san fainted...

...

"Once again... This is Dr. Jaizen's uplifting march."

"I want you to search for the owner of this hairpin." The old man said, looking down. We were all sitting on a bench outside the hospital.

After Shinpachi-san fainted, the man actually turned out to be... Not crazy. He was just showing Shinpachi-san the hairpin... And it wasn't a needle, like I thought it was...

I really thought he was going to go all Ninja, though.

"Why would you want us to do that?" Shinpachi-san asked, having woken up not long ago.

"She was my first love..." The man blushed. Creepy...

Kagura-chan was blankly staring at us, chewing on her sukonbu. Sukonbu is a chewy, sour Japanese snack made of kelp.

"What's with the sukonbu?" Shinpachi-san asked Kagura-chan.

"When I have to hear a sad story, my snacks are the refugee of my soul..." Kagura-chan explained.

"For all these years, I've chased after women for their sweet, supple behinds." That was random... Old man. And weird. "But for some reason, all I can remember is her smile."

So... You're in love. You said that already.

"Gimme some too." Gin-san reached out for some of Kagura-chan's sukonbu.

"You, too?! Give it a rest!" Shinpachi-san yelled.

"Hey... Let me taste some, too." I asked, Kagura-chan giving me some of the chewy snack.

"Ugh! I give up..!" Shinpachi-san sighed.

"I don't mind if you laugh at the idea of an old man thinking about his first love." BLAA! NASTY! DISGUSTING! This sukonbu is terrible... I'll never eat this again!

But... Kagura-chan is giving me that look... If I don't eat it, she'll kill me.

"Don't worry about it." Shinpachi-san chewed on Kagura-chan's sukonbu.

"She was so beautiful..." The man looked up. "She was popular everywhere she went for her work ethic and gorgeous, pinned-back hair." Wait a second... I'm getting something... "All the men went to her shop, getting grotesquely fat off the dumplings they ate while courting her. I, too, wanted to be like them, but I had no money, not to mention being wet behind the ears." I think I remember this episode... "Watching her from the shadows was all I could manage."

I understand. But, it's alright. If my guess is correct, you wouldn't like her anyway, as she is now.

"Then, one day... While I was gazing at her from afar... She spoke to me." Really? You just, like, been caught stalking! "She told me she always knew I've been watching her." So... You were a bad stalker? It's amazing she didn't call the police on you! "Those were the first words that she, Ayano-san, spoke to me. But, directly after that... She offered me dumplings... For free!" She's really nice, ya know! "She didn't realize how I felt. But perhaps, it was for the best. After all, I was on the verge of collapse just being next to her." ... "Naturally, I couldn't get a single dumpling down my throat." ...What?! Are they hard to swallow, or something?! "As I lay there choking on the dumpling, all I could think about was how weak I was, and how unworthy of her affection." Well, if you choke on a soft dumpling... Then... "I turned my back on her and ran."

"You can run while choking?!" I spat out.

"When I came to, I was lying in some alley, in a pool of my own vomit..." Disgusting. "...With the hairpin I tore from her hair clutched in my hand." That's a very touching story... "I want you to find her."

"The price will be steep, I'm afraid." Gin-san! How cruel! "We're the best Yorozuya in the business, you see."

"If it's money you want, I have it." Good... "Enough that I could never spend it all, even if I tried. I don't have any family, either, so I've really been at a loss at what to do with it." That's... Nice... And sad... "If you take up my case, I will leave you all the material goods I have amassed in this life"

"Gin-san, can't we just do this for free? He's an elderly man with no family... And this is his only request... It's sad..." I whispered, but Gin-san just ignored me, a stupid grin on his face.

"V-very well, then!" Gin-san stuttered. "I don't suppose I could refuse an old man's wish!"

"Hey, people get mad if you laugh at them!" Shinpachi-san scolded.

"Shut up, Shinpachi!" Gin-san jumped off the bench, glaring at Shinpachi-san. "I merely want to fulfill our client's wish! My heart and soul are committed to this endeavour!"

"Hey, but I'm still confined to the hospital." Shinpachi-san whined.

"Idiot!" Gin-san yelled. "It doesn't matter to a jack of all trades, so long as he's helping his client!"

"You obviously just want the money... You poor bastard..." I muttered.

"What did you say, you brat?!" Gin-san made a fist. "It isn't money or possessions that matter in this life, it's love!"

"So, this is the state of the youth today, is it?" Kagura-chan shrugged.

"Huh?" Shinpachi-san sweatdropped. "Why are you lecturing me like I'm a spoilt brat?" I got up from the bench and began walking with Gin-san and Kagura-chan. "Is this inheritance worth more than sukonbu?"

"More than a whole family pack of them!" Gin-san answered energetically.

"Hmm... I guess we could get some more of my Tea-kun..." I mused.

"Heeey!" Shinpachi-san shouted, still sitting on the bench.

_**Yeah... I'm gonna write this episode in parts... Because it's long! Like, really long! And I'm just not up for putting all that in one little chapter. So, I hope you all enjoyed! And Please review! Tell me what I need to work on, and things like that, ya know! Bye nii! **_

_**Also... I've started to re-read my writings, so don't worry about stupid mistakes! I was actually getting irritated with myself after reading my fics... **_


	9. Chapter 9

**Into the World of Gintama**

_Chapter 9: A Dumpling You've Chewed and Spit Out Isn't a Dumpling Anymore, You Moron!_

_**Everyone... I give you all permission to skin me alive. I am so freaking sorry that I haven't updated this story in a while... But, I got super addicted to Naruto and such... I promise that I'm not going to stop this story anytime soon, and if I do I'll make sure to tell you all. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy~!**_

"The Kanzashi Dumpling Shop? Never heard of them."

Man, you people are useless.

"I heard it was around here." Gin-san told the man.

"Well, I dunno 'bout that." The old man scratched his chin. "I dunno too much about what was here…"

We were sitting in front of a dumpling shop, Gin-san eating green dumplings, Kagura-chan was eating white balls (I forgot what they were called), while I was just sipping on the sweet tea they had. It needed more sugar, though…

"God, you have the memory of a chicken!" He's an old man, Gin-san!

"But hey, Gintoki, at least pay off your tab!" He didn't forget about that… "The last time you paid me was 219 days ago! You have to pay for your seaside dumplings from 217 days ago, your mushroom and sweet wine dumplings from 212 days ago, and-"

"How the heck does he remember that?!" I coughed out the sweet tea, wiping my mouth.

"Any who, we're looking for a girl, who used to work at that Kanzashi place, named Ayano…" Gin-san ate another one of his dumplings. "Well, I say girl, but that was 50 years ago, so she'll be old by now…" Or dead...

"No way, man." The man rubbed his chin again. "I don't have anything to do with gals over forty." How old are _you_?! "Anyway, Gintoki, pay up. The last time you paid me was 219 days ago, and-"

"Why don't you try memorizing pi instead?" Gin-san interrupted. He threw the dumpling stick on the ground.

"Seriously? Pi? Huh?"

We all stood up and ran away, Kagura-chan grabbing all the food on her plate. I grabbed two more bottles of sweet tea and hightailed it with them.

"Hey! Which do you think is better, names of historical politicians or a mathematical equation?"

"Neither!" I yelled back.

After that, we ran back to the hospital to report to the old geezer, when we heard two nurses talking.

"God, I just can't take that dirty old man." One nurse whined. "We should fry his brain!" That's kind of… intense… "Even if we are angles in white, there's a limit to what we can take! It'd be a different story if he at least tip us!"

"No way! No way!" The other nurse chuckled. "He's been here for months, and he hasn't paid the bill. He's crazy poor, that man!" I gasped, dropping the cups in my hand. I really think they're talking about...

...

"**That goddamn, dirty old bastard!**" Gin-san, Kagura-chan, and I cursed, a dark aura surrounding us. We rushed to that **liar's **room and kicked the door down. Apparently, Shinpachi-san heard the conversation as well and was right behind us. We left him earlier to take care of the old man while we were gone.

"**Moneeeeey!**" We screamed, hate all over us.

There was a moment of silence with him just staring at us, us glaring back.

…

"Oh? You found out?" The man scratched the back of his head sheepishly, making us sweatdrop.

"How dare you!" Gin-san demanded.

"Hang on, wait a minute." The man smiled. "Are you saying that a little money is worth more than an old man's deathbed happiness?"

"Let's see if yer happy with no eyes!" Kagura-chan grabbed the man's face, pulling it. The old man winced, trying desperately to pull Kagura-chan off of him.

"I'm sorry, but our bond was forged on the promise of remuneration." Gin-san put his hands on his hips.

"I'm going to have to take this Jump back." Shinpachi-san grabbed the manga from the man's lap. "I stil want to know what happens on the tenth page."

"And I'm **not **sharing my Tea-kun with you!" I growled.

"How about Tea-chan?"

"**YOU DIRTY, PERVERTED BASTARD!**"

"And your hospital food, too." Kagura-chan grabbed his plate of food. "I've gotta check out these famous beans."

We all began to walk out the room, leaving the man to himself.

"So, no hard feelings…" Gin-san turned around, and gasped to see the old man violently coughing. I gasped as well, since I'm not remembering this at all.

I closed the door, leaving Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan outside to themselves.

"Now you know that I'm not just a dirty old man, but a dirty old man with a deadly illness." The old man looked down sadly… Where's Kagura-chan's sukonbu when you need it? I'm about to cry, now...

Gin-san and I pulled up a chair beside the man's bed, looking at the man in slight pity and sadness. If I knew that he was sick... But, if he wasn't sick then why would he be in an hospital? I really need to think more before I act...

"Rika-chan said that she can't resist my strength in the face of death... Who was it that said the candle burns brightest before it goes out?" He smiled. "Ah, yes. It was Kana-chan."

"I'm sorry, old man." I apologized, wiping my eyes so tears wouldn't start to come out. I was _not_ going to cry here... "I was a bit harsh with my judgement of you... You can have my Tea-kun... And I'll buy you some Tea-chan, too..." I smiled weakly. I just can't ignore a sick old person... I'd do anything for them. I really would do anything.

"Thanks." The man turned to Gin-san and I. Gin-san had a hard look on his face, but if you looked closely you could see the hint of sadness. "There's more to that dumpling story. Want to hear?"

I nodded, somehow thinking about my Nana before she died. I was really close with her, and I haven't really experienced the Death of a close family member before. So, it should be obvious how broken up that got me... And I started thinking about Death warily after that day.

Now, seeing the old man here practically fighting Death... I just have to help him. I'll do anything right now... Anything at all. I just wish I could stop the tears...

"After the part of the story I already told you, it seems the girl was forced to quit her job at the shop." The old man continued. "It wasn't just to me, but to all kinds of hungry children, and even animals, that she had given dumplings in secret. Thanks to me, the owner found out and made her quit." He frowned. "I really did a terrible thing... I know that no amount of regret will absolve me of my sin, but before I die, I hope that I can at least return her hairpin..." He smiled again, although I could see it was fake. "Well, it may just be that I want to see her smile again..."

"...We'll help you." Gin-san said after a while, standing up. "For free this time. Come on, Len."

I grinned, knowing Gin-san would do the right thing in this situation. "Yes!" I exclaimed, getting out of my seat and following him out the door. Before I left, however, I turned around and gave the man a big smile. "I promise that we'll find her. I really do promise, ya know!"

I closed the door before I could see his reaction, and slowly turned around. Kagura-chan and Shinpachi-san was sitting down on a bench outside the room; Kagura-chan eating the man's food and Shinpachi-san reading the Jump.

"Let's go." Gin-san grabbed the Jump from Shinpachi-san.

"Huh? We going home?" Shinpachi-san asked. Kagura-chan looked up from her food in confusion and curiosity.

"Nope." Gin-san put the Jump comic in his robe, half of the book showing out. "We're going full speed ahead to find the hairpin's owner."

"Eeehhh?!" Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan exclaimed, Kagura-chan putting the finished food beside her. Man... She eats fast.

"**Listen up!**" Gin-san demanded, giving all of us a hard look. "**Let's say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it's cold outside your bed. You don't want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, and let loose!**"

By now, a little crowd had gathered around us.

"**You think that all your life has led to this moment!**" Gin-san continued, not knowing people were around. "**But then you realize! It isn't the bathroom! You're still in bed! That feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don't stop! You can't stop! That's what I'm talking about! That's the truth of the strawberry milk! Do you get it?!**"

"Strawberry milk!" Kagura-chan cheered.

"Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" I cheered along with her.

"Really..." Shinpachi-san narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

"Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk! Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" Kagura-chan, the now large crowd, and I cheered, fist pumping the air. Gin-san put his hands on his hip, a smug smile on his face. Shinpachi-san looked around, flabbergasted at the scene.

"Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk! Strawberry milk and sweet tea! Sweet tea and strawberry milk!" Shinpachi-san (He gave in to his fate), Gin-san, Kagura-chan, the crowd of nurses and patients, and I cheered some more.

"Let's go!" I exclaimed, pointing towards the exit.

"Yeah!" Everyone cheered.

_~Later~_

Sadaharu, Kagura-chan, Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were now standing at a random street. Sadaharu panting like a dog. Kagura-chan holding her umbrella, to the confusion of the people walking by. Gin-san with one hand in his robe. Shinpachi-san with crutches. And me holding my Tea-kun in a special bottle.

The bottle is special because it's made of plastic so even of you drop it it won't break! And none will spill out because the only way tea comes out is when you suck the little straw-like thing! And- Wait... I'm getting off topic. Anyway, we were just standing there... A rather odd bunch, a random person walking by might say. This was normal to us, though. Well... Shinpachi-san might still have a bit of sanity left, but I swear it's going down quicker than our money! And that's saying something! Sometimes... I worry that we might not have anything at all to eat, and we'll have to steal food from Oto- Oh, wait... We do that already. Man... We are one poor bunch. A weird, mostly insane bunch.

Wait... I really got off topic there. What's going on again? I'm so lost right now.

"But how are we supposed to find the owner of such an ordinary-looking hairpin?" Shinpachi-san asked Gin-san, who was now observing the hair pin. Wait... He took out the hairpin from his robe... He takes out everything from there! What happened to the Jump he had in there?! Is he a ma- Sorry... I'm getting off topic a lot.

"When you find her..." Kagura-chan took the pin from Gin-san and held it in front of Sadaharu. "...You can chew this up all you like, Sadaharu!"

"Hey! It doesn't work like that!" Shinpachi-san yelled. "Chew it up? And how will he find her?!" He continued.

"By smell." Kagura-chan said, giving an idiotic smirk.

"IT'S BEEN FIFTY YEARS!" Shinpachi-san screamed. Man... My eardrums are fainting...

But, Shinpachi-san sat on Sadaharu anyway and started to look for this mysterious girl. Sadaharu sniffed the ground as he walked, Shinpachi-san on his back and Kagura-chan, Gin-san, and I walking beside them.

"There's no smell left." Shinpachi-san continued, knowing this wouldn't work.

"You never know." Kagura-chan argued, her voice a little muffled by chewing on her sukonbu. "Maybe she has terrible B.O. or something..."

"Ehh..." Shinpachi-san gave Kagura-chan a disgusted look. "B.O.?! Don't crush a young man's conception of the female body, Miss Sukonbu!"

Sadaharu turned a corner, so we followed.

"Don't worry, Shinpachi-kun." Gin-san smirked, only one of his eyes opened. "Real babes smell good, no matter how sweaty they get."

"Really, Gin-san?" I asked him. He nodded. "Oh, okay..." I nodded, looking down. What? I have to know... Ya know, for future reference, of course. So I can pass on that information to the future generation.

"Len-kun's getting excited." Kagura-chan commented. I ignored her comment, taking a sip of my Tea-kun. If I yell at her I'll just be another Shinpachi-san, and if I insult her she might hit me. Ignoring is the best way to settle things... Right now.

"Ah, don't worry, Len. If you have someone you're interested in, aim low at first." Gin-san told me. "Like Kagura-chan." He added, but that got him a kick in the groin.

"Why don't you aim dirt low, perm head?!" Kagura-chan yelled, before walking back along with Sadaharu and Shinpachi-san. Gin-san just lay on the ground, tears running down his face as he held his crotch.

"Why do they always aim for the crotch?!" Gin-san yelled, before shakily standing back up. I was ignoring him at this point, walking along with Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan. Oh, and Sadaharu, too.

"Huh?" I blinked as I realized where Sadaharu was leading us to. It didn't take long for Kagura-chan and Shinpachi-san to realize it either. "He just brought us back home." I deadpanned when Sadaharu stopped in front of Otose's Snack Shop.

"You trying to ruin our reputation here, ya dumb dog?" Gin-san asked, still recuperating from Kagura-chan's attack. Sadaharu started panting, scratching the door to the shop. "What are you doing? I told you to do your business outside. We can't keep having the rugs cleaned!" Gin-san said, walking towards the dog. Kagura-chan and I were walking right beside him, eating sukonbu and drinking sweet tea respectively.

Sadaharu ignored Gin-san, still scratching at the door, trying to open it. A realization suddenly hit all of us, making us gasp.

"Hey, it can't be..."

"It can't be, indeed."

Suddenly, the door opened, smoke pouring out at us. Otose stood in front of us, a cigarette in her hands.

"What? You gonna pay the rent?" Otose asked, her eyes narrowed. You gonna stop making me a second hand smoker? "I thought I told you guys that we're a night-time operation, so we're closed during the day. Come back at night, idiot!"

"Oh no, this can't be..."

"No, no."

"She doesn't look like Ayano, does she?"

"No, no."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I laughed. Man... That was funny. How could someone with black hair, anorexic, and ugly be Ayano? Even though we haven't seen her, I'm pretty sure Ayano is a brown haired beauty, even at her old age.

"How do you know my first name?"

...

...

...

_**Earth Cracks In Half **_

"MY HEAD'S EXPLODING! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!" Shinpachi-san cried.

"DON'T LIE TO ME, HAG!" Gin-san yelled.

"TEA-KUN! HE'S STOPPED BREATHING! TEA-KUUUUUUN!" I screamed.

"THERE'S NO WAY SHE'D GIVE ANYONE ANYTHING! I ONCE SAW HER SHOOT DOWN A PASSING SPACE CRUISER!" Kagura-chan exclaimed.

"HEEEEEYYY! YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE A MONSTER?!" Otose vociferated, her eyes turning blue. Suddenly, a blue laser shot out of her head into the sky!

Wait... Ooops, my bad. My eyes got all blurry...

"Otose's just my alias. My 'night name,' one might say." Otose explained. "My real name is Terada Ayano."

"Oh, Mr. Ant, are you enjoying your walk?" Kagura-chan asked, her, Gin-san, and I watching as a trail of ants passed by.

"You can have some of my Tea-kun, Mrs. Ant." I offered, pouring a drop of tea on the ground.

"Hahahaha." We laughed in monotone.

"Why are you trying to reconcile the harsh truth with simple objects?!" Otose yelled. "I'm not an ant, I'm Ayano!" Suddenly, we could hear the telephone ringing. "Huh?" She walked in the shop, leaving us outside. "It's the Big Edo Hospital!" Otose called out to us after a while.

"Huh?" We all walked in the snack shop in confusion. Wait... If the Big Edo Hospital called us... Usually in Anime, when something like this happens...

"They're saying something about an old man in bad shape." Otose explained. I gasped, dropping my Tea-kun. Everyone else did as well. "Is he a friend of yours?"

"Damn it!" Gin-san yelled, grabbing Otose and running outside. We followed, and Sadaharu was luckily outside waiting for us. "Bring us to the hospital, damn dog!"

Sadaharu nodded, and after Kagura-chan, Otose, and I sat on the dog's back... We sprinted for the hospital. Gin-san and Shinpachi-san were right beside us, on Gin-san's scooter. This... This is so sad... Why do things like this have to happen?! Damn it!

"WATCH OUT!" Gin-san warned the people on the street. Sadaharu wouldn't stop for them... Sadaharu would just keep running straight ahead to the hospital. I knew Gin-san wouldn't either. We have to hurry and take Otose there... I promised! Ah, what was that thump? Probably nothing... He must have hit a road bump.

"Hey, I think you hit something back there!" Shinpachi-san yelled.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Kagura-chan replied.

"Compared to our endeavor, the lives of others mean little!" Gin-san told the teen.

"That was a person! A person! A person!" Shinpachi-san continued.

"No, it wasn't!" Gin-san sucked his teeth.

"If anything, it was a mushroom or maybe a toadstool." Kagura-chan told him.

"Exactly, Shinpachi-san. You really need to just go with the flow sometimes! The most logical answer would be a road bump." I reassured.

"You people make me sick." Otose deadpanned, still smoking.

After a while, we made it to the hospital, but in Anime the person usually dies when they go up the stairs, so...

"Sadaharu! Jump through that window!" I ordered. Sadaharu nodded, and prepared itself for lift off.

"We'll meet you up there!" Gin-san told us, before he rode his scooter inside the hospital. Ah... Yeah... Wait, but... What did I just tell Sadaharu to d-

"AAAAHHHHH!" Otose and I screamed as Sadaharu jumped up in the air! He was heading straight for the window I pointed to, but how did I know that was the right window?! It's probably not! We're done for!

"Sadaharu's a butterfly!" Kagura-chan screamed in happiness.

"We're gonna die!" I screamed, closing my eyes.

Sadaharu crashed through the window, and when I realized I wasn't dead, I opened my eyes. There was that old lady that yelled at us earlier, and a doctor. They were standing over an old man... No, that old man was OUR old man! This is the right room!

"AAAAHHHH!" The old nurse and doctor screamed when they saw us.

"Old man!" Gin-san exclaimed as he burst through the door on his scooter.

"Who the hell are you people?!" The doctor yelled at us, recovering from his shock.

"It's a promise between strawberry milk drinkers!" Gin-san answered, getting off of his scooter. Shinpachi-san did the same, standing right beside Gin-san. Otose, Kagura-chan, and I got off of Sadaharu as well, standing beside Gin-san and Shinpachi-san.

Otose suddenly stepped up a bit, straightening out her collar.

"I brought her to you." Gin-san said.

The I.V attached to the old man started beeping a little bit faster, and the old man opened his eyes a little.

"Dr. Jaizen, he's conscience!" The nurse exclaimed in shock.

"What?" Dr. Jaizen turned around in shock, but was immediately pushed aside by Gin-san.

"Hey, can you hear me old man?" Gin-san asked, slapping the man on the head.

"What are you doing?!" Dr. Jaizen asked/yelled.

"That's a very primitive way of seeing if someone can hear you, Gin-san!" I deadpanned.

Before Dr. Jaizen could yell anymore, Sadaharu walked over to the doctor and bit the man's head whole. "A white monster..." The doctor mumbled before succumbing to his fate. Sadaharu pulled the doctor away.

"Doctor!" The nurse screamed, chasing after the dog.

I started to ignore the two and saw Otose walking up beside Gin-san. She looked down at the sick old man in disinterest. The old man turned his head look at Otose and Gin-san.

"We gave her back the hairpin." Gin-san reassured. "Can you see, old man?" He stepped out the way so Otose could step closer to the sick old man. He took off his breathing thing so he could talk.

"Ayano-san..." The old man smiled, tears in his eyes. "You..." Otose put the hairpin in her hair. "...Really look good with your hair pinned back..." He closed his eyes, and a single tear slid down his face. He dropped the breathing thing, and his whole body seemed to go limp. The I.V started to slow down it's beeping... And then it just stopped. His heart stopped, and he died...

The old man was now dead.

_~Later~_

The sky had an orange hue now. It was a little over 6:00. There were a few birds flying in the sky, but not much. You could see the occasional cat pass by once or twice...

Otose, Sadaharu, Shinpachi-san on top of Sadaharu, Gin-san walking with his bike, Kagura-chan, and I were now walking through the street to get back home. I was still a little sad, but I'll see the Taker about that later...

"My, my. I never would've thought that was where you were taking me." Otose said after a while of silence.

"But, you really did look nice." Shinpachi-san complimented.

"Eeehhh..." Otose moaned.

Another moment of silence... They were calm silences...

"Old women..." Gin-san started.

"Huh?" Otose looked over at Gin-san.

"You didn't remember, did you?" Gin-san asked, his voice surprisingly very serious. We all turned to Otose, giving her interested looks. Is that true? Could she really not remember him? Well, that's logical... But, she had to... She couldn't have just...

"Remember what?" Otose asked, looking down.

"Oh, w-well..." Gin-san stammered.

"I dunno..." Otose stopped walking. The hairpin on Otose suddenly jiggled like a bell, making a pleasant clanking sound. "Well, then..."

I looked up, and instead of Otose talking to us, there was a beautiful girl with short brown hair and a hairpin with a bell on it!

"**You want to go get some dumplings, or something?**" A-Ayano asked us! Her cheerful and pretty voice circling around in our head! So... Pretty!

...

Shinpachi-san, Gin-san, Kagura-chan, and I rubbed our eyes in confusion. After a while of giving each other skeptical looks, we followed the now walking away Otose in silence.

_**Well... Ah, Uh... Hope you all liked it. And please review! They keep me motivated, ya know! Bye nii~!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Into the World of Gintama **

_Chapter 10: There's No Good Servant Who Gives A Good First Impression. _

"**Can you speak to me of nothing but the rent and it's delayed payment?!**" Otose yelled. "Can't you, just once, pay up front or maybe even on time? Or even forget it altogether and just say, 'Oh, nice day, isn't it?' You're terrible!"

Yeah... As you can probably tell, Otose is yelling at Gin-san about the rent, while Kagura-chan and I are eating rice. We were in Otose's Snack Shop, not the Yorozuya.

Yeah, some new assistant gave Kagura-chan and me some rice, and Gin-san is getting talked down to by Otose. I really feel sorry for him... Ah, the feelings gone. I'm hungry! And thirsty! Tea-kun!

"If it's small talk you want, then I'll give you small talk! It's suuuch a _niiice_ daaay!" Gin-san yelled, but suddenly gasped in disgust. "Ugh, I can't. It feels like cotton in my mouth."

"Why don't you use that no-good mouth to get some money?!" Otose yelled, slamming her foot on the table. "Or should I do it? I'll bet those lips would fetch a high price in the red-light district!"

"Shuddup!" Gin-san demanded. "My lips exist only for strawberry milk and chocolate parfaits."

"If you've got time to eat filth like that, then pay the damned rent, even if it's just one yen of it!"

"My life's more important to me than the damned rent!"

"You're such an idiot!" Otose was seeping with anger at this point. "NOT ONLY THAT, YOU'RE A _POOR_ IDIOT! I bet you don't even care if you're _homeless_, do you, imbecile?!"

"Who's more foolish? The fool or the one who calls him that?" Gin-san asked. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!"

"Shall I seriously kick you out on your ass, damn freeloader?!"

Kagura-chan and I both got out of our seats, both finished with our rice, and both wanting more. Kagura-chan tapped Otose on her shoulder, while I tried my best to sound as nice as I could. Otose turned around and gave us an irritated look.

"Can I have seconds?" Kagura-chan and I asked at the same time. She said it like a little brat, but I said it like a nice, respectful young man. It's obvious they're going to give me some more and no-

"**You're like a vacuum... Don't you dare take another bite! This isn't a restaurant! This is a snack bar, where old men come to revel in their perversion!**" Otose and Gin-san practically raged at us.

"You put sand in the snacks, 'cause drunks can't tell. You're smart, lady!" Kagura-chan uh... Is that really a compliment?

"Do you mean to flatter me, or to say that my stuff tastes lousy?" Otose turned her back to us, practically pouting. Wait... She's trying to get points by flattery! I won't let her beat me!

"Oh, yeah?! Well, you shit in the chilli, because drunks can't tell! How brilliant of you, Otose!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID BRAT!" Otose raged at me... Again. "WE DON'T EVEN SERVE CHILLI! DON'T PATRONIZE ME!"

"Huh? I sense..?" I ignored the still raging Otose, and saw Kagura-chan grabbing some more food to eat! I don't know what it is, but I still want it!

"Don't smile like that! It's more expensive here... Than anywhere else in the city!" Gin-san tried to stop Kagura-chan from eating the food, but she just brought the plate to her mouth and spilt the food in her mouth! She tricked me!

She knew I was going to try to flatter that old bat, so she snuck back and grabbed whatever she could find! I'll... I'll..!

"I'll just drink my Tea-kun and act like it never happened."

"Don't give up yet, you stupid twerp!" Gin-san yelled, hitting me in the head. Ow... Why do I always get hit there?

"I'll put it on your tab. Separate from rent." Otose deadpanned, sitting down on the couch. Why do they have a couch in here? I wonder...

"Oh, shit..." Shinpachi-san! Where have you been all day?! You've been missing all this good stuff! Wait... You were here..? Oh.

"You think you can pay for these two monsters, when you can't even get your own shit together?" Otose took out another cancer stick, lighting it up.

"I never was flexible..." Gin-san mumbled, looking back at her in a depressed manner. "Who cares if a little shit remains?"

"Not that kind of shit."

"And the word for today is... Shit. Everyone spell it! S-H-"

"Little kids shouldn't be saying that. You should be saying poopoo or maybe even crap." Gin-san droned, watching as Kagura-chan finished her food.

"Now that I've eaten, I'm thirsty!"

"Go to **Hell**, Kagura-chan!" I hissed, putting my Tea-kun in my back pocket.

"Gimme an oolong tea!" Kagura-chan asked the new lady.

"Yes, ma'am." She nodded, immediately giving Kagura-chan a _huge_ jug of tea. That bitch...

"Why're you drinking that here when you can get it for 330 yen at the supermarket?!" Shinpachi-san yelled. "You're falling into the same trap as the perverted old men who frequent this dump! We have to do something. At this rate, we'll never pay off her tab, no matter how much money we have! Well, I guess we don't really have any, though..."

"I'll fix it!" I exclaimed, jumping on the table and knocking the tea out of her hands. It hit the floor and cracked, the tea going everywhere on the floor. "I fixed it~" I monotoned, giving a monotone "Hahaha."

"I'll add that to your debt, and you better clean that up."

"NO! You stupid... Gah! I'd rather someone drink it than it being wasted!" Gin-san practically sobbed in the corner. "My debt... I'll never be happy..."

"You never told me the details. I did what I thought was right." I shrugged, taking out my Tea-kun and drinking it. Ah... That feels good. The sweet, cold liquid flowing down my throat... Ah... No one really knows how this tastes. I'd never let them get a taste of it, even though they technically buy it for me. Well, i-

"VOCA-FREAK!" Kagura-chan screamed, punching me in the face, making me spit out my Tea-kun (Nooooo!), and fall to the ground. She then jumped on me, punching me in the chest (Ow! Ow! Ow!)! "You damn, unintelligent, half-baked, tea-obsessed, **cunt**! I was drinkin' that! I'm thirsty!"

"Such harsh words, Kagura-chan! Th-That hurts! Ow!"

"This wouldn't be happening if you would get a real job!" Shinpachi-san yelled at Gin-san.

"Nah." Gin-san shook his head, digging in his nose.

"Or at least look for a real client, for once!"

"Nah..."

"That's the last straw." Shinpachi-san is losing sanity points faster than expected, he's clutching his hand likes he's getting ready to burst. "I'll kill you, even if it means my death!" Shinpachi-san charged at Gin-san, probably about to do the same thing Kagura-chan is doing to me. Oh, wait... She's still attacking me.

"Get off!" I kicked Kagura-chan off of me, getting in a fighting pose. She did the same, and we started sparring, chairs being thrown and everything chaotic.

"Calm down." Gin-san droned, sticking his finger in Shinpachi-san's nose. That managed to calm the boy down, I think. "And you two, if you keep on fighting, you won't eat for the next week." And that calmed me down, bowing down in front of Gin-san.

"Please forgive me." I begged, obviously not wanting to stop eating. Well, as long as I have my Tea-kun, I should be alright for a week. Uh-huh!

Shinpachi-san came to his senses and grabbed Gin-san's finger from his nose. I'd _break_ that finger, if it was me.

"Dammit, how can you be like this?" Shinpachi-san practically whined. "Not only do you lack the will to do anything, you don't even have the determination to run from your problems! We should ask your parents for money, or something!"

"Shuddup." Gin-san monotoned. "I'm a man, not a boy to go running to mommy. _You_ go do something about it."

"I can't! I-"

Kagura-chan threw a random pot at Shinpachi-san, hitting the boy in the head. I stifled laughter, while she said, "Be quiet!" The girl then yawned, before lying down on the couch. I guess all our fighting tired her out. "Even if my parents died, I'd still need a nap now..."

"Oh, my..."

"**AAAHHHH! BLOOD! BLOOD!**" Shinpachi-san screamed, talking about the tiny amount of blood on his hand. Now, really...

Suddenly, Tea-kun jumped out of my hands and hit Shinpachi-san on the head again! He screamed in pain, before glaring at me.

"It wasn't me! Tea-kun just got really annoyed at how you scream! I swear!"

"Bullshit! I'll kill all of yo-"

"Um, are you alright..?"

We all turned in shock to see the person who would dare help Shinpachi-san! It was the new person working here! She was giving him a towel... She must be foreign. Or crazy. No one sane would want to help Shinpachi-san... Even Shinpachi-san looked confused at the lady helping him.

"You can stop the bleeding with this, if you'd like." She offered, holding out the towel for him. On closer inspection, she was pretty ugly... And she had cat ears...

...

Catherine...

"Ah, this is the first time I've seen of you. New here?" Gin-san asked, poking his head in their business.

"She must be new to help out Shinpachi-san. Word of advice: Don't."

"Indeed." She smiled. "I've just come to work here. Catherine is my name." She explained. Ah, this must be the episode where she tries to steal Otose's things. Well, I'll just sit back and watch how everything turns out.

"She's from a poor family and is working hard to support them." Otose explained to us.

"Thank you so much..." Catherine bowed.

Otose smiled at her respectfulness. "She brings in a lot of costumers and is always on time."

"It's just ten minutes walking in, and eight running." She smiled back.

"Quite impressive..." Gin-san nodded. "She doesn't even have our perverse sense of humor."

"Well, it took me a while to fit right in, so she'll fit in soon, I think." I deadpanned, sipping some of my Tea-kun.

"You might be right, Len-kun, but she has no goal other than serving Otose's terrible, overpriced snacks-" Gin-san was interrupted by being hit in the head with a toaster. I _think_ that's what it was...

Kagura-chan yawned in her sleep. "I can't eat anymore..."

"**You'd better not!**" Everyone in the room replied.

"Well, there's sure to be plenty of hardship, sadness, sadship and such..." Gin-san started, now talking to Catherine. "...But keep at it."

"Thank you so much."

"It may be tough now, but the worst is surely yet to come. Keep that in mind, and you'll be fine." Gin-san said.

"And don't help Shinpachi-san again... It's kinda a thing for him to get hurt." I advised.

"You think she's some kind of masochist?! And what do you mean, don't help me?! I deserve help like every other human being!"

_**This is part one of this episode! I hope you all liked it! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**Into the World of Gintama **

_Chapter 11: There's no good servant who gives a first good impression... Part 2_

It was now nighttime, meaning the Yorozuya was unusually quiet. Shinpachi-san rarely stays this long, but he was on the couch opposite of me, complaining about being hungry and what not. I could actually stay a long time without eating, as long as I have my Tea-kun. Anyway, Gin-san was sitting at his desk, looking out the window.

"Hungry... So hungry..." Shinpachi-san mumbled, sprawled out on the couch with a dead look on his face.

"Shut it, man." Gin-san demanded. "Why don't you just go home? There's sure to be food and such there."

"My sister's there today..." Shinpachi-san replied, sitting up. "My sister's there, making dinner..." He continued. "When my sister makes fried eggs, you see and tastes things you can't even imagine."

"So, she's a bad cook?" I smirked. "This could be good blackmail... On you, Shinpachi-san." He gave me a bored, but angry look, before turning back to Gin-san.

"Gin-san, did you know?" Shinpachi-san suddenly asked, randomly. "There are some canned goods that smell so bad, even a cat wouldn't go near them. They say that smelly things often taste good..!"

"...What?" Shinpachi-san is going crazy...

"Len-kun, did you know?" Shinpachi-san started, now looking at me, a crazy grin on his face. "When the Inuit catch a reindeer, they _eat_ all the _intestines_ and _everything_." He leaned in. "I'll bet it's so _soft_ and _warm_ and _delicious_..!"

"S-Shinpachi-san, p-please calm down..."

"And, Gin-san, Len-kun, did you know?" He asked again, staring down wide eyed at his hands. "_When a hawk catches a rat, it only eats it after taking it apart in it's nest!_" He looked up crazily, his mouth quivering, and his eyes unusually light brown... In comparison to his dark brown eyes. "I'll bet it's _sooo_..."

"Shinpachi-san! Calm down!" I tried, but the crazy in his eyes didn't go away.

"_**There're so many good things in this world!**_" He stood up, now looking at Gin-san, who was just looking outside, ignoring Shinpachi-san. "Think about it! The rent here isn't really so low. I'm sure that if we look, we could find a bunch of places cheaper than this. Right, Gin-san?!" He turned Gin-san's chair to look at him... And... Gin-san was gone! It was a log with a silver wig attached to the top!

...

"WHAAAAAAA?!" Shinpachi-san and I screamed, me now standing up. How is that possible?! Where did he go?!

"Our emergency snack fund!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed, opening up a random cabinet with nothing in there. I gasped.

"We have an emergency snack fund?!" I narrowed my eyes. "I've been starving every day! Why did no one tell me about it? And where did Gin-san go?! And now that I think about it, Kagura-chan isn't here either!"

We just stared at each other, blinking, before a thought came in both of our minds.

"**THAT MILK-DRINKING SONOFABITCH!**"

_~Later: Still Being Nighttime~_

Apparently, Gin-san just went out for a walk, and Kagura-chan was downstairs. After we stopped raging, some policeman knocked on our door, asking for everyone in the house to go downstairs. We obliged, everyone, even Gin-san, now being downstairs in Otose's Snack Shop.

"Is this everyone?" The policeman asked. His name... Will be... Jake!

"Yeah. Whaddya want?" Otose asked. Kagura-chan was eating, Catherine was serving Kagura-chan, Otose was standing behind the bar table, some other policeman was here, just standing up... I'll call him... Bale. Anyway, Bale was just standing up, Gin-san was sitting down, and Shinpachi-san was also standing up. I was just sitting down on the couch, drinking my Tea-kun. We'll need to buy some more, soon... Yeah...

"Well, you see..." Jake coughed in his arm, sitting down beside me. "There've been multiple incidents nearby, in which stores had their day's earnings stolen."

"14 this month alone!" Bale said, nonchalantly playing with his weapon. Is he trying to scare us? It's not very scary...

"Well, that certainly is a big deal..." Gin-san nodded, his eyes half lidded. And then he coughed out a puff of smoke.

"**There's your culprit!**" Shinpachi-san exclaimed, pointing at Gin-san. "What the hell's with that glazed-over sugar coma?!"

"It seems that the culprit is an Amanto, but we're still shaking things out." Jake explained.

"**There's your culprit!**" I exclaimed, pointing at the munching Kagura-chan. "She eats _waaay_ to much, she must be an Amanto!"

Kagura-chan just glanced at me, before grabbing my finger and _b-bending it upwards!_

_"AAAAAAHHHHH!" _I exclaimed, tears flowing from my eyes as I clutched my broken finger. "_**IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH, YOU STUPID YATO BITCH!**_"

"People who tell unfunny jokes gets their fingers broken." Was all she said, sticking her nose up.

"Then I'll break your neck!" I screamed, jumping at her. She just brought her foot up and brought it down on my head, instantly stopping me and making more tears flow from my eyes. I just laid on the ground, reaching for my Tea-kun... Almost... There...

"That was mean, Kagura-chan." Gin-san said. "I'm sure he was just trying to show you a way to get back home for free!"

"Well... Deportation isn't exactly free..." Jake told the silver haired man.

"Exactly!" Kagura-chan agreed. "I would never subject myself to such shame!"

"It's not something you choose, bitch!" I yelled, massaging my aching finger. Gah... It _stings_..!

"If worse comes to worse, I'll just stow away on some rocket ship." She explained. "That's what I did to come here. I'll think of something."

"That would make for a cold funeral!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed, grabbing Gin-san's head and pushing it down.

"Don't worry." Gin-san reassured. "She'd be fine, even if we threw her into space!"

"I'm not a cockroach!"

"You're annoying like one!"

"Hey, you! Don't hate on cockroaches! Apologize! Cockroaches are the most durable beings on this earth!"

"No! I hate cockroaches!"

"Yeah! Cockroaches are awful, and I won't apologize!"

"Don't say that about cockroaches!"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT COCKROACHES?!"

"Shinpachi-san, you're annoying like a cockroach, too..."

"Yeah, yeah... Shinpachi _is _a cockroach."

"No, no, no... Don't make fun of the cockroaches like that. Shinpachi-kun is more of... A nasty fly."

"A pest."

"Exactly!"

...

"**HEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!**"

After that talk of cockroaches and such, the policemen left and everyone went to bed and such. Shinpachi-san went home, and Catherine left, probably to go steal some more things. I want to stay up and confront Catherine about the stealings... But... I'm so tired... It's so quiet...

...

Zzzzz...

_3rd Person Point of View _

Gintoki Sakata could not sleep. He supposed it was because of all the strawberry milk he drunk, but his mouth just tasted horrible. He felt like throwing up, so he got out of his futon, put on his clothes, and walked out the room. He had to be careful not to wake Kagura and Len. Kagura would definitely kick his ass, and who knows what Len does when he's sleepy and irritated... Probably pour tea in his strawberry milk...

"That'd be awful..." Gin mumbled, walking past the mumbling boy who was sprawled across on the floor. He opened the door and slowly closed it behind him, not wanting to cause attention. He walked down the steps, mumbling about his mouth tasting nasty and he shouldn't drink anything sweet before going to bed.

"All right, I've finally climbed the steps to manhood!" He said after he walked _down_ all the stairs. "Wait, or did I climb down?!" He sheepishly scratched his head, standing in front of Otose Snack Shop. "Eh? What am I talking about, all alone?"

He opened the doors to reveal Catherine standing there, just about to walk out the shop. She had on an all black suite, which was totally different from her green one. They just stared at each other, their faces inches apart, before Gin broke the silence.

"Hey. Working overtime?" Gin asked, still scratching his head. "Don't suppose that's possible... Huh?" He looked down at what Catherine had in her hands; a metal lunch box.

...

Shinpachi also couldn't sleep, so he was just leisurely walking around the neighborhood. He was starving, because there's no way he would dare eat his sister's cooking. It's poisonous... _That's_ the reason why his vision is getting worst and worst!

He was unconsciously heading for the Yorozuya, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him. In front of Otose's Snack Shop, Gin and Catherine were face to face, inches apart. When Gin noticed him, he gave him an annoyed, but tired look, making Shinpachi realize what was going on.

"I'm s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sorry!" He apologized, shielding himself as if he was about to be attacked. He then stopped, realizing how stupid it looked, but continued talking. "I didn't mean to interrupt your pleasurable night-time encounter!" He did another pose, not knowing what else to do at this point. "Please, enjoy the concealment of darkness to the fullest!" He turned around, planning to leave, but was stopped by... Len and Kagura!

"Ignorant fools!" Kagura yelled. "Tremble before my power!" She exclaimed, then started to laugh, her hands on her hips. But... Her eyes were shut close.

"Ignorant indeed!" Len started, his eyes also closed, but he somehow had his bottle of tea balancing on his head. "You should submit to the Tea God and bow down! Bow before the Tea Lord's power!" They were both laughing now, like complete, utter maniacs...

"Are you two sleep walking? What kind of dreams are you two having?" Shinpachi asked, his eyes narrowing in annoyance and confusion. Gin was also looking at the duo, so no one was noticing Catherine was tip-toeing away. "A shot glass and a cat?!"

"A shot of _tea_ you impertinent changeling..."

"Hey."

"Your vocabulary gets really impressive when you sleep..."

"Men's lives are _so_ **puny**..."

"Hey."

"Where did that menacing tone come from?"

Kagura and Len suddenly opened their eyes, waking up. They didn't really know what was going on, but Len made sure to catch the tea falling from his head, even though his senses were sluggish because of him just waking up. They could also see Catherine grabbing Gin's scooter, the noise making everyone turn to look at the thief.

"That looks like my scooter..." Gin pointed out. Catherine just looked at the idiotic group, the lunch box, a purple umbrella, the cash register, and a jug of tea attached to the back of the scooter.

"You're all good people." Was all Catherine said.

"Come to think of it, that umbrella on the back looks a lot like mine..." Kagura said innocently.

"T-T-Tea..!" Len gaped, his eyes wide and a scowl forming.

"Hey, that's the food from the shop!" Shinpachi yelled, his finger pointed at Catherine in an accused manner.

"What are you all yelling about?" Otose asked, coming out of the shop. She tried to ignore the shouts when she woke up, but she couldn't ignore it any longer when she started hearing them talk about tea and money and such. She gingerly got out the bed, put on her clothes, and walked outside. She couldn't hide the confusion and shock on her face when she saw Catherine stealing everyone's stuff, shown by her stumbling and hardly catching herself.

"Catherine!" Otose gasped, wide eyed.

"Later, ya dumb broad!" Catherine smirked, riding off on Gin's scooter, everyone's stuff on the back. Except Shinpachi's... He doesn't own _anything_... "See ya, suckers!" And with that, she was gone.

**"STOP RIGHT THERE!" **Gin, Kagura, and Len yelled, all for different reasons. Gin for his scooter, Kagura for her umbrella, and Len for his tea. Even though he has a bottle in his hands right now...

Kagura ran in the street, standing in front of a driving car. The taxi driver abruptly stopped, not wanting to run over the girl, but that was his mistake... Kagura, Gin, and Len moved like lightning; Kagura opening the door to the driver and throwing the taxi driver out, Gin _tearing off_ the back door and throwing the screaming riders out, and Len kicking through the window and plopping down in the passenger seat. Kagura sat in the driver's seat, and Gin sat in the back seats.

...

A 14 year old driving. A 12 year old in the passenger seat. And a 21 (or 22) year old in the back seat.

...

"Hey, what're you doing?!" Shinpachi asked, walking over to the car in mere curiosity. They ignored the boy, starting to drive off. "Hey, wait for me!" And Shinpachi jumped in the car right before it sped off after Catherine.

"They're gone..." The taxi driver said in unbelief. "They're gone!" He screamed in anger now, still sitting on the ground.

"I'm so scared..." The lady on the ground cried.

"I'm so turned on!" The man exclaimed.

Otose just had a hard, but slightly confused expression on her face...

_Len's Point of View_

"_AAAAAAHHHHH!_" I screamed, praying in the back of my mind that we don't crash. "_WHY DID I GET IN THE FRONT SEAT?!_"

I suddenly remembered the sad, distressed look on my tea's face... It must have put up a hard fight... But... But that cat eared **bitch!** _She_ did this..! She stole my tea, so she must die!

Although, that still doesn't explain why I'm in the front seat, with no seat belt, in a speeding car, with a 14 year old driving... And the two oldest in the back seats...

...

We're going to die..!

Kagura-chan turned a sharp corner, making me hit my side on the door. She then sped through the long road, almost hitting a man with a ramen selling stand. The man then threw a bowl of ramen at the car, but that didn't stop us from still speeding down the street, running over trashcans and random boxes. Also people, but why are they walking around during this night?! They should **die! **

Suddenly, a black cat came into view, making Shinpachi-san shriek. "OOOOOOOHHHHH! NOT THE CAAAAAAAT!"

"WE JUST RAN OVER COUNTLESS PEOPLE, AND YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT A CAT?! KILL THE THING! THE TEA GOD ALLOWS IT!"

But, Kagura-chan ignored me, turning as to not hit the cat and finally making it on the highway. Although, as soon as she did, we ran into a car...

"**Hey!** What we're doing is worse than Catherine!" Shinpachi-san screamed. We all looked to the side and saw Catherine leisurely driving down the highway, not paying us any mind.

"Catherine!" Kagura-chan yelled after her.

"Tea!" I yelled as well, making Shinpachi-san sweatdrop.

...

"_DIIIIEEEEE CATH-ER-INE!_" Kagura-chan and I exclaimed, Kagura-chan practically stomping on the pedal and following her at an ungodly speed. _She_ just smirked back at us, driving into an alley and into the sunset peacefully. _We_ busted through the alley, running over plenty of stuff and chasing her! I'm not letting her get away with making my tea give me that look... That look of defeat!

"AAAAAHHHH!" Shinpachi-san and Gin-san screamed.

"WE'RE GETTING CLOSER~! RUN THAT BITCH OVER~!" I yelled in a sing song matter. And I wasn't lying, we were practically right beside her! All Kagura-chan has to do is turn the wheel and we-

Catherine turned a corner and we flew out into the sky. There wasn't a road anymore, but we didn't notice. There was an ocean below us, but instead of falling down into the water, we were flying up into the sky.

"Eh?!"

The car suddenly stopped flying, and we fell down to the water!

"WAAAAAAAHHHHH?!"

**Splash! **

...

"Gaaaahhh!" I'm... Drowning! No... Looking around, we're all drowning! The water's stinging my eyes... Clogging up my nose... I can't... I can't breathe..!

"Blaaaa!" I'm... Losing consciousness... I... Didn't get to save my tea...

...

Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around me, and it didn't take long for me to realize Gin-san was saving Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I. He swam us up, but let go of us, then. He jumped out the water, his sword in his hand, running towards Otose..? Yeah... Otose was here... And Catherine was just about to run her over. But, Gin-san jumped in front of Otose in time... And..!

_~Later~_

The police were here now... They had Catherine in hand cuffs, while Gin-san, Otose, and I were standing in front of the police and Catherine. Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan were running around, Shinpachi-san chasing Kagura-chan over the food. I was snuggling with my tea... My sweet, cold tea... I'm here for you, baby...

"So this is how she repays you by giving her work?" Gin-san asked. "People's souls sure are black, aren't they, old hag?"

"Isn't it worse to speak ill of others when you can't even pay the rent?" Otose asked, crossing her arms.

"It wasn't her fault, she just made one mistake. She stole my tea." I shrugged. Catherine just gave me a sad look, probably trying to gain sympathy. "Nope, girl. You steal my tea, you are my eternal enemy."

"You just don't make _any_ sense, do you?" Otose asked, to which I shrugged. I'm tired... Staying up till morning chasing Catherine in a killer car ride.

"Thanks for your help, all of you." The policeman said, bringing Catherine to the police car. Catherine still had that sad face... Like she would cry any minute now...

"You're quite the stray, aren't you?" Otose asked, to which Catherine looked down. "But, you know, you get attached to cats pretty easily." Catherine gasped, while I scoffed.

"I guess that means you struck gold..." Gin-san grinned.

"If you're ever hungry again, come on back to the shop." Otose smiled. "I'll let you have some leftovers."

"...Otose-san... You're such an idiot..." Catherine said, crying. "But..." She couldn't finish, because she was pushed in the police car. Oh, well. Guess we'll never see her again. Who wants tea?

"That's the first time you haven't gotten mad at being called an idiot." Gin-san mused.

"Even I have flights of fancy, on occasion, so I guess I can let this month's rent slide." Otose said, looking away. I just smiled, before almost hugging her. Almost.

"That means more tea! Yay!" I cheered, striking a pose, grinning. "**Straight down the road of sweet tea! Tea will win!**"

_**Everyone! I hope you all liked this chapter! Also, I'd very much appreciate it of you read my Sket Dance story! It's like this one, but with an entirely different OC... And such. Please read! Bye nii! **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note: I-I'm back, everyone! Sorry for another long hiatus... I try hard to not do those. I just get addicted to my Naruto fanfic and... Yeah... I also have a few things I need to tell you all. **_

_**I changed the summary! I hope I made it better! **_

_**I also changed how the OC looks. I think I made him look more like a 12 year old, cause that's what he is. Check the Story Picture to see how he looks now! **_

_**My writing style has also changed. I've been getting a lot of practice on my Naruto story, so my writing style has gotten exceedingly better. I started this story as a beginner... And I'm gonna continue it as a... Idk. Just know I'm better now!**_

* * *

_**Summary: My name is Jalen Brown. I've suddenly been sucked into the world of Gintama... With no way out. Well... Getting out isn't exactly my first priority... Especially when I'm too busy laughing at their crazy antics! I would have never thought I'd ever be in any type of danger, though. Like starving. OC Self-Insert**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. I'm sure you've noticed that already.**_

* * *

**Into the World of Gintama**

_Chapter 12: If You're Gonna Cosplay, Do It With All Your Heart!_

* * *

_La la la_

_La la la_

_La la la_

_Ah ah ah~_

_Let's go out free up your mind_

_Sweet dream on the other side_

_I've finally opened my eyes_

_To see the world so wide_

_'cause when your thoughts fade to black_

_The shields you build start to crack_

_So change your plan of attack_

_I'm never going_

_Go back to_

_The days when I lost you_

_(Hey baby why?)_

_You left me_

_You said 'cause I had to_

_(I want to cry)_

_I broke my vows and ran but now_

_I've finally grown a backbone_

_So fxck your shxt_

_Throw down that's it_

_'Cause babe, you are not alone_

_Say it ain't so and tell me no_

_But baby, I'm here to stay_

_So throw your woes and I'll kiss your tears away_

_Livin' on the run don't scare me none_

_So baby, for you_

_I'll pray hard every day_

_The two of us will be okay_

_So come on out and let's play._

_La la la_

_Ah ah ah..._

* * *

"Well, there were times when she wouldn't come home for two or three days, but for one whole week," the man, our client, trailed off. His eyes were downcast in sorrow and a bit of shame. I'd be ashamed, too, if I had to call the Yorozuya for help. "She hasn't contacted us once, and none of her friends know anything."

We were in the man's house, sitting on the floor with a table between us. Gin-san, Shinpachi-san, and I were on one side while our client was on the other. Gin-san and Shinpachi-san had a cup of hot tea in front of them while I had my cold Tea-kun in my hands.

Kagura-chan was outside, looking at the little pond in our client's backyard. Gin-san looked painfully bored and tired at the man's rambling while Shinpachi-san listened on intently. I listened at most times, but there were times where I'd just blank out and think about other things.

Like how I've been stuck in the Gintama world for at least a month now. Well, no one seems to really age... And I hardly see a calendar anywhere... So I'm just guessing I've been here for at least a month. Thinking about time is really pointless, though, since as I said earlier, no one really ages.

Over the time that I've been here, though... I'm starting to feel like I _belong_ in this place. Every time I wake up... It just feels so normal that I'm in an Anime. I still laugh at some of the stuff that everyone does, but it's frightening me that I'm laughing less and less each day.

Ah. I blanked out again.

"Even if I'm speaking as a parent, she's a beautiful girl," he took out a piece of folded paper from his shirt. "I'm worried that she got mixed up in something horrible."

He handed Gin-san the piece of paper, which he looked at dully. Shinpachi-san and I brought our faces closer to see the picture clearly.

Beautiful? B-B-Beau...

"Hahahahaha!" I couldn't help myself from laughing at the picture of his daughter. A fat, dark-skinned girl with long blonde hair doing the peace sign. Her eyes were half-lidded like how Gin-san's are and her nose was just... "Hahahahaha! Oh, God! I'm gonna die!"

I fell on my back, clutching my stomach. Tears were flowing from my eyes like a waterfall. She's ugly! She's the ugliest thing I've ever seen! She strangely reminds me of ham, but she's just ugly!

"Len-kun! Control yourself!" Shinpachi-san yelled in a whisper. He turned back towards our client, sheepishly smiling. "I'm sorry... He's just a little kid... Forgive him, please..."

"What's wrong, kid?" The client asked. "I know she's beautiful and all, but even beautiful people can get in some serious trouble, too."

"What _trouble_ could she possibly get in?! Unless they mistaked her for a pig and sent her to the slaughter house, there's nothing that could have happened to her!" I exclaimed while still laughing, rolling around on the floor now. Oh, God! I'm going to piss my pants!

"Hey, **stop it..!**" Shinpachi-san mumbled, his face deadly serious for some reason. "Do you want to ruin our rare job opportunity? I swear I won't buy you anymore tea if you keep this up."

I instantly stopped laughing and sat back down beside Gin-san, saluting. "_Yessir!_"

Shinpachi-san sighed, looking back at the half-confused client. "But are you really fine with us? Wouldn't it be better to consult the police?" He asked.

The client shook his head. "I can't do something like that. We are a prestigious family that has worked with the Shogunate and the Tokugawa family," he explained, his face saddened again. "If my daughter's nightly activities were known, it would shame the family. **I want her brought back in secrecy.**"

* * *

So, after our client explained to us the clubs she normally goes to, we all headed off. I had to explain to Kagura-chan the situation, since she was too busy playing around. Gin-san still looked tired while Shinpachi-san just looked like he regularly does. He warned us that this is an Amanto-Human club, meaning both aliens and humans party here.

Even I know how dangerous that is.

If there's one thing I'm scared of in this world, it's Amanto. I mean... I'm not _scared, scared_ of them... But I'm mostly cautious towards them. I know they sometimes take advantage over the law... And I know that since they're probably going to be drunk in this club...

I'm gonna have to be careful.

The music was blasting in the club, and Amanto and Human both were dancing like maniacs. It was slightly intimidating.

Shinpachi-san and Gin-san sat down at a table and ordered Kagura-chan and I to ask around while they watched, since Kagura-chan was playing around during the first part and I almost got us fired at the beginning. I'm pretty sure it's because Gin-san has a hangover and just doesn't feel like working, though.

Kagura-chan looked unfazed as she walked over to a chicken-type Amanto, handing the alien a picture of the girl we're searching for. I stayed beside the older girl, kinda feeling a little self conscious all of a sudden. I don't know why, though.

"Huh?" The Amanto looked at the picture carefully. It's voice was _super_ deep. "I don't know this girl."

"I heard she came here a lot," Kagura-chan told the chicken. I slowly nodded in agreement, the chicken blankly looking at us.

"Even if she did, little girl, I can't tell Earthlings' faces apart," the chicken said. That's... Kinda racist. "Is there a name?"

"Uhh..."

Kagura-chan and I looked at each other. Then back at the chicken.

"Ha-Hammy."

"P-Porky."

"Don't make stuff up!" The Amanto raged, slamming it's hands on the table. "What kind of parents would name their kid that?! And you both said different names!"

Kagura-chan blinked. "I forgot, but no big deal..."

I shrugged. "They both represent a type of meat, I guess."

"_Heeey!_ Are you two serious about finding her?!"

"Not really," I deadpanned, getting on my tippy-toes and grabbing the picture back from the Amanto. "Thanks for not really helping, I guess."

Kagura-chan and I walked over to another Amanto while the chicken we just left raged after us. We kept on asking people, but no one seemed to know who/where the girl is/at. And some of the Amanto got angry at us for interrupting their dance! Can you believe that?!

Kagura-chan got tired of looking _fast_ and grabbed this fat boy with an afro. "Come with us," she ordered, leading him to Shinpachi-san and Gin-san. Gin-san was walking away somewhere, though. Surprisingly, the boy nonchalantly followed us, for some very, _very_ odd reason.

"Shinpachi!" Kagura-chan called out. He turned around to look at us. "This is annoying, so let's pass this off as her," she said, pointing at the guy.

"It's humid and stinky in here. I want to _gooo~_" I whined, taking a sip of my Tea-kun. Ah... Tea-kun...

Shinpachi-san literally face-palmed. "Seriously, what do you guys think _work_ is? Geez..." He suddenly glared, starting to rage. "Anyway, there's no way we can pass that off as her!" He pointed to the creepily silent guy. "That's a _Hamilton_, not _Hammy!_"

Kagura-chan sucked her teeth. "Ham tastes the same, no matter which one you eat, idiot!"

"Exactly. You're really pathetic, Shinpachi-san," I added, drinking some more of my Tea-kun.

"What?! You're defending that idea?!" Shinpachi-san asked, slightly irked. He then looked at me. "And don't agree with her just because you want to leave!"

Suddenly, and I mean _suddenly_, the guy just fell on the floor! Is he sleeping?! He's so big he even made the ground shake..!

"Hamilton!" Kagura-chan screeched.

"Hey! Pointless characters shouldn't take up a whole scene!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

Kagura-chan bent down, slightly shaking the guy. "Hamilton! It's because you drank too much!"

"...Are we really going to spend time on this guy..?"

Kagura-chan rolled the guy on his back so we could see his face. The guy's eyes were still open... As if he was... D-Dead..?

"Hey... This guy isn't drunk," Shinpachi-san mumbled, also bending beside the guy. He's dead, isn't he?! We're the last ones to communicate with him (In some way...)... They're gonna question us and stuff! Auuuggghhhh! This is so frustrating! And he's dead!

"Ah, geez, it's okay," someone said, making us turn our heads to meet them. It was just the chicken that we questioned, though. He bent down to pick the fat guy up. "I'll take care of this." He easily draped the guy over his shoulder, turning around to walk away. "Everyone's all _shabu, shabu, shabu, shabu_ these days."

"Shabu? What the heck does that mean?" I asked.

"High-Leg?" Kagura-chan guessed... Ignorantly. How does that even..?!

"There's been a new kind of drug circulating around these parts," the Amanto explained. "It's supposed to be pretty bad stuff, so you guys watch out, too." And with that he was gone, carrying the fat guy with him to who-knows-where.

Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I just put that fainted guy and that warning to the back of our heads, deciding to just sit down and wait for Gin-san. None of us were going to do any drugs, so it really didn't pertain to us. The only thing we were worrying about is finding that girl... But we had to wait for Gin-san to do that.

"Where is Gin-san anyway?" I asked Shinpachi-san.

"He went off to the bathroom to probably throw up or something. He has a huge hangover from last night," Shinpachi-san answered. "I told that guy to not drink too much... He just doesn't listen, though."

"No one listens to you anyway, Shinpachi," Kagura-chan said. I laughed while the glasses-wearing-boy raged on the red-headed-girl. At least they aren't calling him _Glasses_ quite yet... Then he'll really be raging.

I brought a hand to my messy, blue hair, bringing it out of my eyes as I took another drink of my Tea-kun. Shinpachi-san stopped yelling at Kagura-chan sooner or later. We were mostly silent, the partying around us making sure that the silence wouldn't be awkward. I hate awkward silences.

The only noise between us was the ice in my tea mixing around, Shinpachi-san's foot tapping on the ground, and Kagura-chan humming now and then. I don't know how long we were waiting, but I know it was pretty long, because Shinpachi-san started to talk sooner or later.

"Gin-san is late," he mumbled, the tapping of his feet getting faster. "I have a bad feeling about this place..."

I almost face-palmed. "What gave it away, Shinpachi-san? All of the drunk Amanto dancing around us, or how Gin-san isn't here by now?"

He ignored me. "Let's leave as soon as we can."

"I'll go look for him," Kagura-chan said, standing up from her seat. "...Ah?"

I nonchalantly looked over at the girl.

I dropped my Tea-kun to the floor almost instantly.

A bunch of scary looking Amanto were crowded around us, each of them sneering. How they managed to get around us without us knowing? I'll probably never know... Because one of them had a gun placed on Kagura-chan's cheek, stopping her from getting up. I'm pretty sure that if he shoots... I'll be next...

What the heck is going on anyway?!

"So, you're the ones who've been sniffing around this place?" A green Amanto with bandages around his forehead and a dark beard said. He was also the one with Kagura-chan on gunpoint.

"Wh-Who are you?!" Shinpachi-san asked. I scrambled to the floor to grab my Tea-kun before any of these dirty aliens got their nasty hands on it.

"Don't play dumb. You're the ones who've been looking around for us, eh?"

What?! No! No, we weren't!

I wanted to scream those words out, but my throat seemed to be closed for the moment. Or maybe it's because I don't want a gun pressed to my face..? Meh... Either way... We're so screwed...

"If you want to know so much, we'll teach you... **The terror that is the Harusame Space Pirates!**"

After that... Everything happened _sooo_ fast. Kagura-chan was bashed in the head with the gun, instantly knocking her out. Shinpachi-san stood up to do something, but was easily dispatched by another alien. I clutched my Tea-kun harder as I realized what was happening... After I realized they were going to try and hurt me..!

"**GIN-SA-!**"

"Don't make another sound, kid," one of the aliens ordered. "If you just do what we say and not make much noise... I'm sure we won't have to hurt you... _Yet._"

The grip on my Tea-kun weakened as all of the Amanto glowered over me. I dropped it on the floor completely when one of them picked me up and held me over their shoulder.

He stunk.

I trembled.

They picked Kagura-chan and Shinpachi-san off of the floor.

We started to walk.

This is when I realized that I left my... My... MY TEA-KUN ON THE FLOOR! AND WE WERE BEING KIDNAPPED BY AMANTO! AND GIN-SAN IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!

"**Aaaaaaauuuuugggghhhh!**" I started screaming, trying desperately to get out of his grip and run away. "**Let me **_**goooo!**_** I left my Tea-kun! Let me **_**goooo!**_" I then realized screaming to be let go wasn't going to make them let me go.

So I screamed for help. "_**GIN-SAAAAAAN! GIN-SAAAAAAAAN!**_"

"I told you to keep it quiet, brat!" The one carrying me yelled.

A hard hit on my head. A pain-filled yelp. Then darkness.

The last thing I heard was, "Shinpachi! Kagura! Len! Hey, what happened?!"

Then everything was quiet...


	13. Chapter 13

_**Author's Note: Wow! People are still willing to Read this?! I'm... honoured... Sniff...**_

* * *

_**Summary: My name is Jalen Brown. I've suddenly been sucked into the world of Gintama... With no way out. Well... Getting out isn't exactly my first priority... Especially when I'm too busy laughing at their crazy antics! I would have never thought I'd ever be in any type of danger, though. Like starving. OC Self-Insert**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. OKAAAAYYY?!**_

* * *

**Into the World of Gintama**

_Chapter 12: If You're Gonna Cosplay, Do It With All Your Heart Part 2_

Where..? Where am I..?

I slowly opened my eyes, but everything was too blurry. I had to wait a couple of minutes before I could actually see, and even then my mind was blank.

What am I doing? I'm lying on the cold, steel floor... My hands are constricted together behind my back and my ankles are constricted together... I'm unable to move... And it's not just because I'm tied up... I feel super drowsy...

Where am I? I'm in some sort of bright room... An office building? I don't hear anyone, though...

What happened? I was... I was kidnapped? Yeah! Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I were kidnapped by Amanto! They're called... The Harusame Space Pirates? I think so... Everything happened so fast... And...

And I left my Tea-kun..! I left my precious Tea-kun on the dirty floor in that dirty club! Because of those damn stupid Amanto!

...Is that why I can't move and I'm super drowsy? They knocked us out and then drugged us... I think...

Suddenly, I heard mechanical doors opening. They were opening in the room I was in. I had a tiny bit of hope that it was Gin-san coming in to save us, but that hope quickly diminished when I heard someone... Someone completely unknown talking.

"These are the guys who were running around after us," one of them said. Definitely an Amanto... The voice is all squeaky like one.

"Yes. They've been quite a problem, but they were easy to catch," the other one said. Unlike the first one, this one sounds human. It's a cool, calm-like voice... But I doubt he's human. "They're probably members of the Nationalist Faction who hates Amanto."

I'm not part of any faction that hates Amanto... But after this experience I might as well join! If I... If I survive.

"Ribbet."

Uh... What? Did that squeaky voice guy just ribbet? Is it a frog Amanto? That's... Scary.

"There was another noisy samurai. But he was dealt with, as was another noisy costumer."

Noisy samurai..? No... They couldn't have... They couldn't have killed Gin-san! H-He's the main character..! Yeah... So, why? Why don't I remember any of this in the Anime? Is this a manga-only episode?!

Then Gin-san should still survive! But... Why do I feel so scared..? What about me?! Will _I_ survive?! Oh, no...

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, _noooo_..!

"I told you not to make such obvious moves. There's a limit to how much I can make the Shogunate look the other way!" Frog Amanto...

"Yes, I understand. It's thanks to you that we can do business freely." Cool-Voice Amanto.

"So, how will you dispose of these guys?"

Uh-oh... We're so screwed. I'm pretty sure Shinpachi-san and Kagura-chan are also in here... But I'm too scared to let them know I'm awake! I gotta escape, though... I gotta save Tea-kun..!

"We'll beat their base's location out of them. I don't want our work disrupted any further."

"Their ringleader is probably that Katsura guy, ribbet. They're bastards who even dare to bare their fangs at the Shogunate."

Katsura?! I'm not with Katsura, you idiots! I'm with the Yorozuya! Yorozuya, damn it!

Suddenly, the door opened again, meaning they either left or someone else came in. The latter was proved when I heard a new voice.

"Daraku-san, excuse me," the new guy said. "There are some weirdos out front."

"Weirdos?" The cool-voice guy pirated. I'm guessing he's this _Daraku-san. _He sighed, "Dispose of them however you want. I'm busy."

No! _Nooo!_ Go outside and forget about us! I don't want to die! Please..!

Wait! Weirdos outside? Weirdos..? G-Gin-san?! Please let it be Gin-san to save us! Please!

Suddenly... Suddenly the drowsiness seemed to multiply in effect. Before I knew anything... I was drifting back into sleep. Yes... Deep... Peaceful... S-Sle...

Zzzzzz...

* * *

A splash of water hitting me in the face woke me up again. I heard people yelling, but I couldn't quite catch what they were saying. My eyes were also blurry, so it took awhile for me to register what was going on.

"Hey, awake yet, kiddies?" A gruff voice asked.

"Nap time is over!"

I shook my head to get some of the water out of my hair and opened my eyes.

Amanto. A _lot_ of Amanto. That's what I was met with when I woke up. Elephant-looking Amanto. Creepy fish-like Amanto... There were Amanto of all kinds just standing over me! The elephant Amanto had a bucket in his hand... He must have been the one to pour the water on me.

But, wait! He said "Kiddies," didn't he? That means..!

I turned my head to the right… And saw Shinpachi-san sitting beside me, just now waking up. When he did wake up, though… He didn't say anything. He gave everyone a blank look, including me.

"What a shame... Caught by pirates at such a young age," a random alien teased.

"Oh, I see," Shinpachi-san mumbled, looking down. "Len-kun and I were caught by pirates..."

Depressed much? And don't worry, Shinpachi-san! At least we can die together!

...

Oh, God... Someone save me!

"But, wait," I started, Shinpachi-san slowly turning to look at me in disinterest. "Wasn't Kagura-chan kidnapped, too?"

With that single thought, we both desperately looked around for Kagura-chan, the aliens smiling more wickedly at us. I couldn't find her, but Shinpachi-san screamed, "Kagura-chan!" making me turn to him and follow his gaze up.

What I saw scared me.

A green guy (Definitely an Amanto) was holding a sword. That's not so scary, right? The green guy was holding the unconscious Kagura-chan up in the air with the sword. Okay... That's not so bad, right?

We were on a ship. The green guy was holding Kagura-chan with a sword over the water. Just one quick motion and Kagura-chan would be dead. She would fall to the ocean and drown.

...

We. Are. So. Screwed.

"See, I hate people who are dirty and get in the way of work," the green guy said calmly. Wait... I know that voice...

...

It's Daraku-san! He's the one who was talking over me when I woke up the first time!

"I want to get rid of all you annoying rats," Daraku-san continued. "Tell me where your hideout is. If you're stubborn, this one dies."

"What are you talking about?!" Shinpachi-san demanded.

"Don't play dumb. I know you're part of the Nationalist Faction," Daraku-san replied in a not-so-calm voice.

Before I had the chance to maybe clear up this misunderstanding (And find a way to kill them all while I'm at it), one of the Amanto in front of us grabbed both Shinpachi-san and I by the hair and started painfully shaking us.

"He told you to spit out your hiding place! Where the hell is that bastard Katsura?!" And with that he brought us up and slammed us both on the ground.

I was extremely pissed... Not to add to the fact I never comb my hair because I hate it when it gets stuck in the comb and it hurts getting it out. Therefore... Pulling on my hair gets me a little... Riled up.

"**DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT!**" I yelled, wincing at the throbbing pain. "We aren't in the Nationalist Faction thing, we were just looking for a random girl! You've all misunderstood!"

Yeah... That probably wasn't the best thing to say... Because all of the Amanto started glowering over me. I was mad because I lost my Tea-kun and he pulled my hair, but I'm not crazy enough to glare at a bunch of angry Amanto...

I gave an apologetic smiled.

Shinpachi-san didn't. He yelled, too.

"Yeah! We don't know where Katsura-san is! Let go of Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi-san practically screamed. "This is the country of the samurai! You guys, **get the hell out!**"

"Samurai? They don't exist in this country anymore!" Daraku-san responded, his voice slightly rising in anger.

To be honest... This whole situation seemed really hopeless. Daraku-san has Kagura-chan basically held hostage, and if we don't respond the way he wants she'll die. There are over twenty Amanto in front of Shinpachi-san and I... And we both have our hands tied up behind us. Even if we didn't... Shinpachi-san and I can't do anything without a weapon. I can't even do anything _with_ a weapon, and Shinpachi-san is hardly any better with one, too...

Kagura-chan's... No... We're _all_ as good as dead.

...

Suddenly, and I mean _suddenly_, Kagura-chan kicked Daraku-san in the face! She literally woke up, grinned at me, and kicked Daraku-san in the face! _**Hard!**_ Daraku-san flew back while Kagura-chan flew back in the opposite way... In the direction of the ocean...

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi-san and I screamed. First Tea-kun, now Kagura-chan..?! _**Nooooo!**_

"Sorry to be a burden," she said to us as she starting falling down to the ocean, a sad smile on her face. "Bye-bye."

So many feelings rushed through me in that split second that I didn't even recognize all of them! Kagura-chan was going to die..! She was going to d-drown..!

_"Hey! You can't just end the chapter this quickly! You need to tell us who you are and why you were knocked out in front of our house!"_

Kagura-chan...

_"Please, Len-kun! Try to pull me! Please!"_

Tears started welling up in my eyes...

_"Are you going through puberty?"_

The tears welled up too fast and I had to shut my eyes to stop them from coming out. A few did, anyway.

_"Your kidneys might fail if you keep drinking that stuff."_

K-Kagura-chan!

"**Wait!**"

Everyone gasped as we all saw a man in a pirate suit running along the boat. His hook-hand was connected to a rope on the boat so he didn't fall in the sea. He had sorta straight silver hair and-

Wait.

Silver hair?

...

Gin-san!

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!" Gin-san jumped up and caught Kagura-chan right before she fell in the water. He then jumped up again and used the rope to swing himself on the boat, Kagura-chan in his arms. Unluckily, he crashed into a bunch of barrels. Which, I can tell, really hurt. Kagura-chan rolled away on the floor, but Gin-san wasn't as fortunate.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," he mumbled. "The wound opened up." He got up on one knee, looking up. "Um... Excuse me, is this where the interview is being held?" He stood up, the extra debris falling out of his hair and off of his coat. "Good afternoon, my name is Sakata Gintoki. I want to apply for captain. My hobby is eating sweets. My skills include being able to sleep with my eyes open..."

"Gin-san!" Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san, and I exclaimed in happiness. He's not dead! He's here to save us!

"Bastard, you were still alive?!" Daraku-san grumbled. Oh, still alive? I thought Kagura-chan broke your neck, or something. Suddenly, we heard a rumbling noise and the ship started to shake. "W-What the..?!"

We all turned our heads to the left and saw a giant hole on one of the sections of the ship. There was black smoke coming out of the hole, too. The mechanical door opened to reveal another Amanto in slight panic.

"Daraku-san! There was an explosion in the warehouse!" The Amanto yelled. Daraku-san just widened his eyes as he turned his head to another explosion. Uhh... Who's bright idea was it to put explosives on a ship? It'll sink, idiots!

"My job is done!"

Daraku-san turned around to see a long haired man also in a pirate suit. K-Katsura-san?! He was holding what looked like a bomb in each hand.

"Now it's your turn, Gintoki!" Katsura-san yelled. "Go as wild as you want! I'll take care of the nuisances..!"

"You're Katsura!" Daraku-san yelled in pure hatred.

"Wrong!" Katsura jumped up. "I'm captain Katsura!" He threw one of the bombs at Daraku-san and the other at the Amanto standing around us. Daraku-san jumped back to avoid it in time, but the other Amanto weren't so lucky.

"It's Katsura! Get him!" Some of the other not-dead Amanto yelled. "Bring me his head!" And Katsura-san started running away, to which the other Amanto followed.

Daraku-san just casually walked in front of Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, Gin-san and I with a sword in his hand. It's pretty intimidating, especially since my arms are still tied up.

"You guys are done for," he said, adjusting his glasses. "You've made an enemy of the Harusame."

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't wrongfully kidnap us and make me drop my Tea-kun!" I yelled.

"Boo-hoo," he replied. "All the Harusame scattered around the universe will come to kill you. You're as good as dead."

"Should I care? You're the one who's done for." Gin-san drew his wooden sword. "Listen, I don't care what you guys do to the universe. But this is my sword, and anywhere it can reach... Is my country!"

Yeah... Go on, Gin-san. Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I are practically useless with our hands unusable... So don't lose, or we die.

"Bastards who come in and try to mess with my things... Whether it be a general... Whether it be a space pirate... Whether it be a meteorite!" They charged at each other. "**I'll destroy them!**"

They slashed. They stopped moving. Time seemed to stop.

"Hey," Daraku-san started, slightly chuckling. "For a guy who doesn't wash his hands in the restroom..." His legs lost all their strength and he fell to the ground. "...You're pretty clean."

And with that... Daraku-san was down. For good.

* * *

"This is no good. I'm so dizzy, I can't walk."

"I've been in the sun for so long. I'm getting light-headed. Piggyback!"

"Tea-kun... Tea-kun, where are you..? I need you... Tea-kun... Tea-kun!"

"What are you three brats whining about?!" Gin-san yelled at us. "Who do you think is the most tired?! It's _With-A-Two-Day-Hangover, With-Body-Beat-Up, He-Did-His-Best_ Gin-san!"

"But I'm really dizzy, you know?" Shinpachi-san whined, placing a hand over his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm so light-headed!" Kagura-chan whined.

"I'm not going anywhere until you walk your lazy ass back to that club and find my Tea-kun," I demanded, crossing my arms.

"Whatever, I'm going home," Gin-san groaned.

He started walking away.

He kept on walking.

He continued to walk awa-

"**Cut the crap, already!**" He turned around and screamed at us. "I'll give you a piggyback or whatever! I'll even go to the club and get your _Tea-kun!_"

"Yayaya! Woo-hoo!" Shinpachi-san, Kagura-chan, and I cheered, sprinting over to Gin-san.

"What the hell, you're just burning with energy..."

And with that... Gin-san carried Kagura-chan, Shinpachi-san got on Gin-san's back, and Gin-san carried me with his other arm. I have to admit, we looked ridiculous, but with Gin-san carrying us to the sunset... I don't think I've ever felt happier.

"Gin-chan, I feel like eating ramen!" Kagura-chan exclaimed.

"I want sushi, too!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

"I guess I can get some steak after we're done finding my Tea-kun. And buying some more tea, of course," I said.

Gin-san groaned even louder than before. "Don't think you can eat food like that unless it's your birthday. And forget about getting more tea, Len." He groaned again. "Geez, you guys are heavy, damn it..."

We all smiled. Even though he rejected our ideas, we were happy all the same. Maybe I should speak to The Taker about this... This random burst of happiness...

* * *

The next day... We brought our client's daughter back to her house. Gin-san found her in the bathroom, is what he told us, as awkward as that sounds.

"Kimiko! Kimiko, you're alright!" Our client desperately hugged a pig with a little patch of yellow hair on it's head. His daughter, Kimiko, was just watching in annoyance and/or boredom.

"Hey, old man, what're looking at?" Kimiko asked. Her dad didn't answer as he just gushed over the pig, tears running down his cheeks.

"I understand, old man. There are some things that you just don't want to see," Gin-san said.

"No, maybe he knows what he's looking at?" Shinpachi-san mused.

Kagura-chan was outside, looking at the pond again.

I was on the verge of death, laughing my ass off.

* * *

_The fan in my heart hums as it spins,_

_Conversations cut again and again._

_As I find myself always disturbed,_

_From that crazy audible whirl._

_I find myself wearing my helmet upside-down again,_

_And then it falls off my head._

_Kissing the blue sky,_

_As I find myself blazing by._

_I know I work hard,_

_But so does my zooming Scooter._

_Bubble-Gum, I'll chew on a piece,_

_As these days keep on racing towards me._

_I'll dive head-first, into my life,_

_If my soul is truly sharp as a knife!_

_Bubble-Gum, I'll chew on a piece,_

_I'll go all out just as it pops!_

_Life gets better as you chew for awhile,_

_So try not to get ahead of your pride._

_We'll do things a little different this time,_

_And give a new sense of beauty to life!_

* * *

_**D-D-D-D-D-DISCOABC**__**! S-SHE ACTUALLY REVIEWED AND F-F-FAVORITED AND/ Shot**_

_**First AL19, the best Gintama story writer you could imagine! Now D-D-D…**_

…

_**Discoabc! She makes the most hilarious stories ever! The most hilarious and BEST stories ever! At first, when I saw her name on my Emails I was like "Oh! She updated Kyoko or Destroying Varia from the Inside? Yay!" but then I saw [New Story Favorite] and [New Story Follower] and [New Review] and… I dropped my phone on the table. **_

_**And started editing this right before I uploaded it to Fanfiction . net.**_

_***Cough* Anywho… I acted a bit… Weird there, right? So… I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And… Yeah…**_

_**I got the ED in sing-able lyrics forums . yorozuyasoul index . php ? topic = 309 . 0**_

_**Yeah... I'm so awkward… And embarrassing...**_


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